Late stage - work boundaries

[lemondropsandallsorts]

Firstly, I get my work done. I have always gone above and beyond to ensure I was a good little worker bee. I have been at the job 8 years now, have a great office culture and no red flags at all. My coworkers are all great.

Two weeks ago, I was setting up a conference room and had moved the partition to separate it into one large room and one small room. My direct boss and her peer walked into the big room, not realising I was in the little room, and were chitchatting about the teams.

I was just about to announce myself when my direct boss mentioned that she was not going to offer me the promotion I had gone for. She immediately fired back to the shocked response of her peer to say that I was brilliant in my role, indispensable and deserved the promotion, but frankly, as the absolute workhorse of the team, she needed me to stay where I was.

Her peer mentioned that it didn't seem very fair, and my direct boss said something along the lines of (I was reeling at this point and my recollection gets a bit fuzzy) being a manager, you have to look at the bigger picture and the bigger picture was I served her and the overall team better staying where I was.

At that point people started trailing into their room for a meeting so the conversation stopped. The whole thing happened in the matter of seconds. I felt like I had been punched. (luckily, I was on leave for a while after, but I was emailed later to say I had not got the job. I had been so close, but hadn't done quite enough at the interview. But I was a shoe in for the next round of promotions in about a year, or maybe two - if I kept up the good work)

Every fibre of my being wanted to act rashly, hand in my notice and flounce or rant back to the email - but I have just finished a work-based qualification (in preparation for the promotion) and I will have to pay the cost back if I leave within a set period of time. Also, I have bills to pay.

So, to the point of this post.

I NEED to become less available for about a year (after that I don't need to pay the training bill and my house buying process will all be done to a change won't mess up my mortgage offer). My work only does tombstone references - so I am not worried about a sudden lack of enthusiasm showing up on references if I end up going external.

So ladies, give you tips for just doing the job you are paid for - but not a single damn thing above and bejond because I need to sit this out for a year and the only way I can cope is by planning how to unmake myself indispensable.

This! You don’t need to quit yet….just tell her you heard what she said! Watch her squirm

I sympathise with your position very much. I think a lot of people will have been in your position and would feel equally disappointed and let down by your manager’s treatment.
I wonder if your manager is reflecting on what’s happened and has realised the cause of your change in behaviour?
If so, I’d be preparing for a frank conversation when she returns to work.
For what’s it’s worth, you sound a brilliant colleague.

This with knobs on!

You’re handling this brilliantly.

You’re very clever and wise.

Keep doing what you’re doing and keep your powder dry.

She’s also an over promoted delegator, who Is probably out of her depth and can’t actually do her job .

Direct manager is still off sick, however, office scuttlebutt suggests that it is a genuine and quite serious Illness. (I should stress this is not gossip I was involved in - I happened to overhear some of her direct reports that had received an update, chitchatting about said update while making a cuppa in the tearoom)

Dude remains elusive, but luckily, we never really interacted so he's not aware of all the extras I did outside of taking the on-call phone occasionally. So I'm not receiving any request from him to step up into the gap. He's been so spectacularly absent that we have not crossed paths for him to ask me if I'd like to pick up the on-call phone but I do have a 'sorry that doesn't work for me' prepared.

As such, it has been quite a relief to get on with the job I am supposed to be doing without having to overthink and second-guess any emails because presently I'm only doing what's always been expected of me (and what I'm paid for)

OH MY WORD!

So I've just typed an update and literally four seconds later an email came in from the big big boss to say Dude is leaving to 'explore other opportunities'

Oooooh I wonder what will happen next... perhaps they'll ask you to step up after all...

Work out what you will ask for as an acting up allowance. Don't just do it for nothing

Enjoying these updates!

@BasilParsley - While my first flurry of thoughts was yay! This may all iron out in the long run I suddenly realised that no, that ship sailed I'm just happy to wait out my year.

However this is fresh news so I may change my mind later on while I think my way through it still 😆

Dude was totally out of his depth and is scarpering before it becomes clearly apparent.

Kindly OP, your boss is not a good boss.
She recruited a waster and has pissed off an excellent employee.

That is not a good manager....not by a long stretch.

Proceed with caution.
You could end up doing hers and your job while she is out.

Stick with your work life balance unless they make it spectacularly worth your while.

I just texted my best friend and she is telling me not cut my nose off to spite my face and to start thinking about putting my hand up and ensuring that I get the promotion/pay rise because of course I did study and get a qualification in preparation for this very promotion.

But it's really hard to describe, I've lost any desire to progress here - it's like all the umph got knocked out of me when I heard my direct manager in that room and I just can't get it back.

She quite rightly pointed out literally known for about 10 minutes and I may need a little time to come around, but I have this weird feeling inside that the drive I had to go for the promotion is not going to come back.

I think I did too good a job of becoming a time serving cubicle dweller.

I’m another one that would tell her I’d overheard the conversation. Are you in a union OP? If so, ask your rep for advice.

Take the chance to learn on the job with a view of moving on.

You get more money
You get a CV bump
You dont have to play games if/when your manager comes back
You get recognised in a more senior position by who ever fills her role if she is long term sick.
You get brownie points by pulling senior management out of the current hole

I have been following your saga with interest OP. At this point, I would do nothing. Let the possibilities run through your mind before doing anything.
One thing occurred to me - is there anyone left to be on call ?

Don't do anything rash - your best friend is spot on. Accept it, but you can always leave in a year anyway. But, don't make it easy for them. If they ask, tell them you need to think about it and you'll get back to them in a couple of days.

Some good advice from your friend I think.

Are you my friend?? She almost said the same word for word - but with more swearing and at least you didn't call me stupid to my face 😄

She also hammered home that I studied for a whole year, went through exams and passed in preparation for this promotion and why would I ( insert swearword here) it all up by letting my hurt feelings get in the way. She, in no uncertain terms, told me to get over myself and get out of my own way.

Yes she's a good friend, yes she's not shy, yes I love her dearly.

Given your line manager is off, does this give you the opportunity to email big boss to say that you'd like to be considered for the role?

Keep your options open OP, if you get offered the role and things still feel sour 6 months later, you will be in a better position to negotiate a new role as you will already be working in the higher bracket.

Op I'm going through a similar situation. It's been immensely satisfying watching the fall out and faux concern. A management position has come up and people are surprised I'm not applying. I'm not sure my values now align with the company's.

Would getting the promotion still mean reporting to the same, currently off sick, manager? That would rule out applying (for me). I am too good at bearing grudges 😅

She would be a peer - But there would overlap as she has a lot of knowledge, and her area overlaps with the other two. She tends to be seen as slightly more senior, as the longest-standing and most knowledgeable manager, so things tend to flow through her.

Though technically, everyone at that grade reports to the assistant big boss.

So Dude has been in his position for a few weeks and handed his notice in, coinciding with your manager going off sick 🤔
I would be wary of 'office scuttlebutt' as it may be deliberate placement of misinformation. Keep your thoughts and opinions close and tight but ears and eyes wide open.
The ball is firmly in your court. 👏