Date talking about kissing before the first date

[Sunshine386]

I'm late thirties, due to go on a date with a man who is looking for something long term on a paid dating app. We haven't met in person yet, we are due to meet in a bar soon and the issue is he is talking about his ideal date of us having lots of conversation and kissing and saying he finds me hot. These are as voice notes on whatsapp because he prefers them to writing messages.

Would anyone else find this uncomfortable given we haven't met yet? Although I like his photos, with online dating you can't tell if there's a spark or desire to kiss until you meet so I find him describing this a bit strange and putting pressure on the situation at this stage. But I can't tell if he's doing this to appear enthusiastic rather than intentionally being weird. What do others think, would it put you off meeting someone who was doing this?

block, delete and move on to the next one

Oh that's grim. Did you still meet for the date?

No, it put me right off.

This is utterly repulsive 🤮 Block immediately...you don't even need to explain why. Block him.

I wouldn't like it, what if you don't want to kiss him would you feel pressured to because of this? It's also a bit immature, the kind of behaviour hormone fuelled teens might display.

I'd ask him to stop, say it too much too soon and you want to spend the date getting to know each other not feeling pressured for something physical to happen. His reaction will be telling, if he cancels you know it was just about sex/he can't cope with criticism. If he reacts poorly /defensively again you know he's emotionally immature so can give him a swerve. If he apologises and attributes it to nerves/clumsy attempt at wooing then you could give him the benefit of the doubt but be on alert . But equally if this has totally put you off that would be understandable.

🚩 🚩🚩🚩🚩

This!

I had a msn I was due to go on a date with put his dog on FaceTime and say ‘she wants to say hello to her new mummy’ and called me mean because I said I’m not pretending to talk to a dog.

The date didn’t happen.

OP - sorry but I wouldn’t be going on your date. A man taking about kissing and calling you hot before you’ve even met will be pushing for something physical very quickly and probably isnt after the serious relationship he claims to be.

No. He’s not going to look for the right moment, feel the mood, sparks of desire, anticipation to build…

He’s probably completely insensitive or uninterested in what the people around him are experiencing. Totally self absorbed.

Or predatory.

That’s so inappropriate. It may be his fantasy but too soon to share it. And presumptuous. I’m

I'd give him one chance- tell him to stop as you haven't even met yet!!

If he doesn't then you have your answer

Yeah it sounds a bit desperate. The sort of desperation to notch up that first kiss when you are a teenager.

Tell him "I don't kiss on a first date so take that off the table, I'd like to see if we get along though so let's concentrate on that"

If he starts about kissing on a 2nd date just block him.

Yeah no way

I had one who told me he was looking for a serious relationship, not just physical etc etc etc

First date he walked he back to my car (despite me telling him not to) pushed me up against wall of car park, rammed his tongue down my throat and attempted to grope my breasts and arse - in broad daylight!
Then texted from his train home telling me he had the horn and was gonna have a wank when he got home - he was nearly 60 ffs

In my experience the ones who talk about kissing cuddling calling you hot and sexy before you’ve met are usually looking for sex quickly

I would cancel. He sounds obsessed with the physical side of things.

Very very pushy. Ick. Cancel.

Tells me he doesn't care who he kisses.

Tbf I doubt most men do! As long as they find you attractive (which they do if they've swiped)

Ick, he's got a fantasy in his head how it should go for him, not respectful enough to think you might not like that idea of snogging him soon as you meet.
Don't feel pressured, I can't count the times I've backed out of a date because the date, arranged became weird

It's a ''NO'' from me too.

Massive ick. He maybe looking at this situation as hookup only.

Men that want to take you seriously and want to be with you don’t usually hurt their chances by being icky before the first date.

Hes defo trying his chances. But if you go on this date, he’ll defo try and make it more physical but don’t be surprised if you don’t hear from him again or if he pops up just to hookup

I used to do this quite often, only when she instigated it though; it built up the excitement.

However; I had one particular date earlier this year where we were both talking explicitly, sending nudes to each other and talking about what we’d do to each other after the date ( meal )

When she arrived, and I saw her for the first time in the flesh my heart sank - talk about being catfished - felt like the last few weeks were such a waste of time and because I didn’t Fancy her at all, the convo was hard as well.

I now meet within a few days and keep the sex talk and pics to myself!

Sometime picture do not fully represent who actually turns up at the date.

I'm gonna go the other way with his intentions...
Yes the vn about kissing is icky.. but he might be trying to say that he doesn't mind if it's just kissing the first date...? Clutching at straws obviously. I'd go and see how he is in person. If I was uncomfortable I'd say and then leave