People who cannot feel the charm of a love song?

[theyshoothorsesdonthey]

Have you ever been in a relationship where you sent a deeply meaningful love song to someone which you had chosen carefully and at length, to express the depth and sweetness of your emotion for your person, only to have it land without so much as a flutter with that person?

And it consequently turns out that person has about the emotional register and responsiveness of a tepid half full glass of water?

I didn’t know whether to feel hurt or very sad for this person for missing out on the beauty of such moments shared.

I would rather feel the hurt of something that didn’t work out than this absence of the appreciation of especially dedicated musical art and lyrics.

I believe if some people register things like that on 5 levels, this guy felt it on perhaps 1, if that. And no, not neurodivergent, I know that neurodiverse people possibly feel that even more strongly, with a higher incidence of synesthesia.

I think this person merely lacked the milk of human kindness and gracious agreeableness. Very jarring to come across something like that.

Please share which song that was for you and the particular idea you were trying to share with your person.

I find the idea of someone sending me a love song a bit cringe. If the other person just doesn't get it or hates the song that's not their fault. They don't have to feel the same as you do. Love songs for a couple usually happen organically and while they are together I would think.

I have wept at songs, but things other people choose or god forbid ‘curate’ inevitably leave me cold.

Personally it sounds very forceful and fake, to me what matters is the small things each person does for the other over time that is 100% more romantic than anything in a song

What was the song?

I think taste in music is very subjective.

I've dated people who feel much more personally involved with song lyrics than I do. For me, a song expresses how the writer or performer felt or wanted to make their audience feel. They are not my words.

So, yes, if any of those chaps had been daft enough to send me a song with expectations of an emotional response from me, they'd have been disappointed. A couple of them made me really good mix tapes, though - not romantic ones, just great sounds.

You're basically upset that your attempt at emotional manipulation failed. Sorry.

Music is very subjective. Try a poem next time?

How long have you been together? If you are on date 3 and you've just sent him one of Celine's finest, I'd be ignoring that too. Or running.

I think you’re being mean to judge them so. They don’t have to be into receiving love songs or like the ones you do. It doesn’t mean they should be pitied.

Could be worse (or better?) Coldplay?

Just because a song doesn't resonate for someone doesn't mean they're shallow. It just means their tastes don't align with yours.

You make it sound like a lot of work went into picking one song. It's not like you wrote it.

Very cringe! Anybody sending me song lyrics to convey their feelings and then had the cheek to judge me for not responding how they want, would get short shrift.

Completely agree with this!

Oh dear, I would be running for the hills from anyone that sent me a sodding 'love song'.
Would much prefer to listen to some Meatloaf or Guns n Roses together (ie don't send me random bloody songs that you think I should like!).

I agree. It is very cringey. Would give me the ick. It is too love bombing and false grand gestures.
I would prefer a personal commemt written in their own words.

I'd get the cringes if someone sent me a love song OP. Music is personal. One persons wailing is another person's golden goblet.

I don't listen to music with lyrics. So it would be torturous for me.

Find another way to express your hormones I think.

I would cringe (and have done) if someone sent me a song or poem. It does nothing for me. It feels fake and forced and cliched.

I'm not shallow. I see charm, romance, love, in things people say and do and the way they act. If it's a song they wrote themselves, still cringe, and bit performative. If it's a song someone else wrote - well they're someone else's words so meaningless.

And even if I liked receiving such things, music is very subjective.

It isn't shallow to now enjoy it just because you do.

OP, kindly, maybe you just have unspeakably terrible taste in music, and they think it’s kinder just not to mention the fact that you sent them a video of you lip-syncing meaningfully to ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’?

Sending a love song like this would be a dumpable offence in my book!

A song, written by someone else and probably performed by someone else again, for commercial gain? No.

Even if it was performed by the person who wrote it about a great love in their life, it still wouldn't be relevant to me.

No, never. If I decided to share a song with someone it would be because I knew them well enough to know they'd enjoy it and/or it would resonate. Can't think of any reason I'd feel so passionate about someone I'd need to express myself through someone else's words without having already learned about their emotional 'depth' and 'milk of kindness' status. You can't love someone and know them so superficially. You're very romantic. The recipient is down to earth. You're not compatible.

Please share which song that was for you and the particular idea you were trying to share with your person.

The closest I've got is trying to explain very dramatically, with lots of hand waving, to my other half how I loved all the bitterness and pain in Edith Piaf's "padum, padum".

He likes Basque punk rock and ballads about ones homeland, and he looked very unimpressed indeed.

Sorry, I would also be cringing. Many mainstream love songs are trite. If a suitor was trying to insist I enjoy and respond to a song that they think I should enjoy, I would probably conclude they weren't the right person for me.

'Our song' is something that happens organically when a couple are falling in love. For my DH and I it is 'Brimful of Asha'. It isn't a love song at all but one of the first times we went out together, we had a wonderfully flirty dance together to the song and so it became meaningful to us. Nearly 30 years on, if we're somewhere together and the song comes on, we'll lock eyes and exchange a smile.

Sometimes DH will play, 'She fucking hates me' by Puddle of Mudd if I'm ever in a huff with him. Does that count?

I would cringe inside out by if someone sent me a love song. It would mean nothing and I probably wouldn't listen past the first few seconds to take in any special lyrics. To me songs need to be about your connection with the other person so it would only make sense to me if we'd both listened to the song together and it meant something to us, it was by a shared favourite band, or it was playing when we were out somewhere together and you were reminding them of that moment. A song you'd found yourself for the lyrics but not one that meant anything to the two of you together would make no sense to me. Is it even a style of music they like? What kind of reaction were you expecting? I wouldn't know how to respond to that.

Sorry OP but I agree with the PO - if someone sent me a live song I’d cringe so hard my vagina would clamp shut.

You're expecting this person to think in exactly the same way as you and being extremely rude, judgemental and unkind about them because they don’t find a cheesy gesture romantic.

There are big red flags here and not from the recipient imo

I've found individual lines from songs that resonate hugely occasionally, never had that much reaction to a whole song. Certainly wouldn't expect anyone else to see it the same way as me and I wouldn't send a song to anyone. It's a bit much.