People who cannot feel the charm of a love song?

[theyshoothorsesdonthey]

Have you ever been in a relationship where you sent a deeply meaningful love song to someone which you had chosen carefully and at length, to express the depth and sweetness of your emotion for your person, only to have it land without so much as a flutter with that person?

And it consequently turns out that person has about the emotional register and responsiveness of a tepid half full glass of water?

I didn’t know whether to feel hurt or very sad for this person for missing out on the beauty of such moments shared.

I would rather feel the hurt of something that didn’t work out than this absence of the appreciation of especially dedicated musical art and lyrics.

I believe if some people register things like that on 5 levels, this guy felt it on perhaps 1, if that. And no, not neurodivergent, I know that neurodiverse people possibly feel that even more strongly, with a higher incidence of synesthesia.

I think this person merely lacked the milk of human kindness and gracious agreeableness. Very jarring to come across something like that.

Please share which song that was for you and the particular idea you were trying to share with your person.

Oh op I’m afraid that you are not some special soul that appreciates love and music on a different level to ordinary mortals as your writing style seems to imply. Maybe he hates that song, maybe it’s a shit dong, maybe he’s cringing inside out at you and the “sweetness of your feelings”? Who knows? But if were you I’d calm the fuck down.

"And it consequently turns out that person has about the emotional register and responsiveness of a tepid half full glass of water?"

Well, this is the problem. Not the song, as such.

If you're an emotional being, then you're simply not compatible with 'half a glass of tepid water' and probably shouldn't waste your time or emotional energy on them.

I imagine you are equally incompatible with each other and it's probably best to have found this out now rather than have a lifetime of disappointment! If someone sent me a love song by a pop star, I would run a mile. You seem to think it is some carefully chosen unique gift when it was intentionally mass produced and created to resonate with the masses. Yes, I listen to these songs and certain lines or verses will resonate or I think that it captures how I felt in a particular situation, but then so do line and verses in other songs too.

I dated someone like that a few years back who used to mansplain to me why he felt the music do much deeper than mere mortals and how I would never understand the depth of how music was part of his soul because he’s never met anyone else with that gift which makes so many people jealous of him,

Tbh he was just a very average middle aged self absorbed twat with a massive ego but hey we live and learn

Your writing style... 🤮🤮🤮 Cringey and pretentious to the extreme. I'd run a mile. Even without any saccharine, trite love songs.

Seems like he had a lucky escape.

Did AI help you write this OP?

I think trying to impose your own musical tastes on another person and having a big reaction when they don’t fall in line is a bit controlling. But it would have been generous of them to go “aww sweet song” rather than “what a piece of sentimental bullshit!”

Your post made me cringe. I don't need someone else's melody, someone else's lyrics and someone else's written down emotions to feel love and connection. And I would HATE for someone to send me a song and expect me to drool over it.

I think you're being unfair here, OP. You are somehow claiming that your emotional intelligence or register is more developed or sophisticated, when that's not it. The person on the receiving end just didn't connect with it the way you did, and that's because art in all its forms is highly subjective.

I am deeply moved by some songs, but in some areas mores than others. The songs that have played at funerals of loved ones are the songs that really weigh on me emotionally, but I in no way expect others who knew and loved the deceased person to feel that way. That doesn't mean that they are emotionless or underdeveloped or that I am somehow a higher emotional being. It just doesn't land for them. That's it.

As some others above have said, I too think love songs are a bit cringe and romantic gestures of that sort are a turn off for me. You do you. Let others do them without you looking down that their capabilities.

😂That made me laugh out loud.

Not sure if I'd have an objection to it (although it's never happened to me), but the OP does sound a bit much, and a little odd.

What's your song then OP?

I'm in the Beautful South zone when it comes to love songs

When my gorgeous old dad died, a friend sent me the Streets Never Went to Church. I'd never heard it before. At first it would make me cry. Now it makes me smile. So I do get the power of songs but just not romantically

It could be worse: a (much older) beau once sent me a Cliff Richard song.😂

Current DP and I always joke that "our song" would have to be The Birdie Song or Agadoo - stuff we both loved as five year olds, before our musical tastes diverged irreconcilably!

On a more serious note, I was afraid to ask my ex DH for the wedding music I wanted, because I knew he would ridicule me for it. This was one of many red flags - not the different tastes, but the ridicule. Now I'm fantasizing about choosing music (that he would despise) for his funeral, but I guess that will be someone else's privilege/problem!

@Charlottejbt i don’t know if you’re familiar with Victoria Wood’s Italian restaurant sketch but I commend it to you. One woman tells the other that her husband has been having an affair.

woman 2: how long has it been going on?
woman 1: it must be yonks because he told me their song was Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep

It’ll brighten your day for sure!

@BitOutOfPractice 🤣🤣

Frankly OP, the whole idea of what you are saying strikes me as cringe-worthy to the point of nausea.

Nobody has ever done that to me (or if they have, I haven't noticed) and I certainly wouldn't do it for anyone.

No, cringe. If someone sent me a love song and expect me to muster up some human kindness and get to level five of deep appreciation of the sweetness of emotions, my fanny would tie itself in a tight knot.

What would cause my actual flaps to crack off my body and fall on the floor so I would have to put them in my pocket to glue on later would be reading your opening post.

Strong ‘screaming at the Sistine Chapel’ vibes here.

Maybe they don't like the song.

You can't expect someone else to feel exactly the same as you about a song. Plus you're being judgey and sanctimonious about their musical taste.

You are very correct! However I feel OP might be leaning towards something a little weaker vocally and perhaps a little tinkly.........

It would not mean that much to me.

Same as sending reels etc

I prefer someone to use own words even if they would be less poetic (however a lot of songs doesn't have good lyrics anyway these days), but that requires an effort. Why I would be emotional about someone else saying something to someone else and just sent to me?

You can use a short quote but then elaborate on your own to make it meaningful and about me / you ;)

Yuck. Did you want to watch them have a highly emotional reaction so you could feed off it?

your initial response - now why is that, do you think ?
real love is really really real, really real

if someone sent me a love song, I would think they were a twat!

Daft Punk’s ‘Robot Rock’