Partner depressed about money - should I use my savings

[Lara35]

Long story short ish
two kids and been together many years

partner never been a saver so after bills etc not much left from wages. He has No savings .
I am now housewife used to work and saved when younger I have around 12k in savings which I had locked away but now can access.
I offered to buy him an expensive coat he likes as he needs a decent coat I said it would be a gift but he said no and he feels like a failure if I buy him stuff.
He’s been depressed for around a year and on pills . I offered to pay the council tax bill in full to help but he’s reluctant also I could some of my savings over the next few months as a lot of due car insurance, mot, service , all bills etc

should I use my savings to pay all these things ? Should I buy him the coat ?
i don’t mind using my savings but unsure as he never learns to budget well or put money aside each month and he says he feels like a failure if I pay , now we have this massive bills coming in which will total around £4K - 4.5 k ( coucil tax, car tax / insurance, service , mot & other bills )

I am a person who likes to pay stuff off annually to get the best price , he likes monthly as only way he can afford it .

Increase HIS income? She’s the one not working!! She needs a job and then he wouldn’t be so stretched.

He may be bad with money but that’s a very small income for a family to pay rent/ mortgage, council tax, utilities, run a car, buy groceries and clothes. It would be depressing and miserable to live in this and have nothing left.

Regardless of whether you work or not both of you need to work together to manage your family finances, you should routinely look at your budget, spending and forecasts for the future. I’ve always preferred to have my bills monthly as it makes our finances clearer and budgeting easier. If you want to pay bills annually it would be better to have a standing order to take a monthly amount and put it aside so the bill can be paid in full when it comes around.

Income should ideally be pooled and distributed fairly with all necessary bills coming first. Do you know about all of his debt? Has it been accrued because your family expenses are too tight or for other reasons. He may be rubbish but putting all the blame on his shoulders feels easy and unfair without knowing more.