Name changed for this.
Live with DP and 4 DC (2 each).
Both work full time, me employed. Him self employed. Business is always kind of up and down, sometimes good, sometimes average. Sometimes not so great. This means on occasions I foot the bill for our outgoings which then come back 'later' usually by the end of the month but not always.
Covid times were down to me as he got pretty much £0 income then as what his business relies on was closed. It was rough but it is what it is.
However the past 4 months or so there was talk of starting a new business cause what he does is kind of phasing out. I think it was partly this and partly boredom and wanting to do something new/something he thought would be better long term. There wasn't however any talk about money changing during this time. So for the last 3 months I have basically paid everything. When I've brought it up he simply says it'll come and he can't give me what's not there. Ok but how am I supposed to pay the bills?
We have an agreed expenditure which accounts for our 2 incomes. Paying 50/50 Not just mine!
To add to this he has his own arrangements with his kids mum that he tells me about but I don't really know and suspect he pays the majority plus extras, I'm not saying the exes should be missing out but he's telling me he has nothing so I'm getting nothing so essentially paying for 6 people when he's still paying for them away from our home.
I don't know how long this situation is going to go on for. He keeps telling me it'll be better in 2-3 weeks etc then that times comes and nothing.
On top of this I am working full time myself and doing the bulk of house chores so he can work extra to get this money coming in that never seems to come. He's bad with money and I think if you are self
Employed you should save to cover these times and he hasn't.
When things have been good we have done things, gone out for food. He's bought me things and he's always got bits for the kids through a work thing that's saved me a lot of money, but also I wouldn't buy new/as much if I had to pay so can't really compare like for like.
I'm starting to really resent this arrangement. We also have a pet which I am doing 99% of the work for. He counts watching it in the day his share (sometimes I am there too as I WFH sometimes) so this isn't daily, I walk/feed/sort food/vets etc etc
On top of this he is still married to his ex, divorce is initiated but only because I insisted (wish I hadn't bothered). But I can't see it being finalised as - no money and no motivation to. Only silver lining is because of these things house etc is in my name.
Just wanted some outside opinions on this as I am feeling really taken for granted at the minute and it's causing huge problems.