Page 5 | Told my mum to F*** Off

Original poster

FishMouse · 10/02/2025 08:57

I2amonlyhereforTheBeer · 07/02/2025 21:39

She's well out of order. Also a big red flag with her saying "I'm a shouter." So what? That excuses it? Guess what - I'm a murderer, so you're just going to have to put up with it. Turning the blame on you is classic narcissism. I would cut her off. No-one needs that drama.

That made me laugh. Yes it is totally messed up.
She's said before "I have to have my say" when she's screamed at me, but the thing is, I don't have to listen to it, and I have said so to her. So she's had the chance to reflect but still persists.
It's been very helpful posting on here.

OP posts:

TurtleCavalryIsSeriousShit · 10/02/2025 12:33

@FishMouse Please don't talk to her on the phone until you are absolutely ready (in my opinion never!). She will just turn it all around on you and confuse you.

You really are justified in never speaking to her again.

Juli123 · 15/02/2025 23:09

FishMouse · 13/01/2025 11:11

Long story slightly shorter, in all the Christmas confusion I forgot to give my kids their Christmas money from my mum.
She doesn't come to me at Christmas and I can't go to her because she spends the holidays with my sister.
She insisted on handing the cards and presents over in a car park the week before Christmas. I offered to pick them up, or for her to drop off at my house, as it was a really inconvenient time and location, but she absolutely insisted.
Anyway, I found the cards in the bottom of my handbag last week. Immediately handed them to kids with apologies.
They had had presents from her as well, which had been handed over by me on Christmas day, I just completely forgot she had given me cards with money in too.
My daughter phoned her to say thank you and she went absolutely batshit that I had forgotten. DD had to tell her to stop slagging me off to her (mum has form for this).
I was mortified that I had forgotten the money. I had a lot going on but still pretty bad!
I was expecting her to be upset but she rang me the next day shouting and screaming. How could I, I can never put it right, how could I upset her so much etc, how much effort she had gone to, she hadn't slept as was so upset etc.. I apologised profusely and was shouted at some more.
She phoned back "to apologise for shouting at me", and then started up again!
This time saying it's my fault she shouted at me, noone else makes her react like this, if I want her to stop shouting at me I need to stop making mistakes. Look what you made me do, in other words! So I told her to fuck off and hung up.
She has form for screaming at me if I don't do what she thinks is appropriate. She always says she "is a shouter" - only shouts at me though! And I mean out of control screaming. My partner cannot understand how I let her do that.
I think I've finally had enough. I suppose I'm asking what I should do next. I feel sorry for her, widowed, "all on her own" but she is just nasty sometimes.

The fact that she only treats you this way tells you everything that you need to know. She does it because she can. Probably no one else will take that garbage. Make it clear that if she ever does that again you are going NC (for whatever time, maybe a couple months?) and every time she screams at you there will be consequences. Then you have to follow through. Remember; she treats you that way because she can. No other reason.

OldScribbler · 30/03/2025 18:42

FishMouse · 13/01/2025 11:11

Long story slightly shorter, in all the Christmas confusion I forgot to give my kids their Christmas money from my mum.
She doesn't come to me at Christmas and I can't go to her because she spends the holidays with my sister.
She insisted on handing the cards and presents over in a car park the week before Christmas. I offered to pick them up, or for her to drop off at my house, as it was a really inconvenient time and location, but she absolutely insisted.
Anyway, I found the cards in the bottom of my handbag last week. Immediately handed them to kids with apologies.
They had had presents from her as well, which had been handed over by me on Christmas day, I just completely forgot she had given me cards with money in too.
My daughter phoned her to say thank you and she went absolutely batshit that I had forgotten. DD had to tell her to stop slagging me off to her (mum has form for this).
I was mortified that I had forgotten the money. I had a lot going on but still pretty bad!
I was expecting her to be upset but she rang me the next day shouting and screaming. How could I, I can never put it right, how could I upset her so much etc, how much effort she had gone to, she hadn't slept as was so upset etc.. I apologised profusely and was shouted at some more.
She phoned back "to apologise for shouting at me", and then started up again!
This time saying it's my fault she shouted at me, noone else makes her react like this, if I want her to stop shouting at me I need to stop making mistakes. Look what you made me do, in other words! So I told her to fuck off and hung up.
She has form for screaming at me if I don't do what she thinks is appropriate. She always says she "is a shouter" - only shouts at me though! And I mean out of control screaming. My partner cannot understand how I let her do that.
I think I've finally had enough. I suppose I'm asking what I should do next. I feel sorry for her, widowed, "all on her own" but she is just nasty sometimes.

Maybe a conversation starting with "I know you're a bit of a shouter, darling, but I think our conversation the other day was a bit out of order.." might work