DH not speaking to me for longer and longer each time

[Gettingsickofthis88]

My husband and I have been together for over 20 years yet we have a problem that's getting worse and worse and I am so sick of it.
If we have an argument or a disagreement, afterwards he will not speak to me and sometimes the children too and he will also stop looking after himself. He will go to bed, not eat, not wash for days.
Yesterday he was going to let our 10 year old daughter watch squid games which i didn't agree with and had already told her no. Had a heated discussion about it, he stormed off and went to bed at 7pm! This happens regularly.
I already know that we won't speak for the rest of this week . I'll make a guess at 5 days. He won't even stay in the same room as me. Won't make my meals for me (he cooks in our house) , won't wash my clothes (he washes too, he's a SAHD) . It makes me not want to go home from work and creates an uncomfortable atmosphere in the house which the kids see aswell.
We have spoken about it alot but it's something that just doesn't improve and is infact getting worse.he says he has no control over it , he has this overwhelming urge to withdraw which is fine if it wasn't affecting everyone else.
It used to be maybe one or two days. He used to do it before we lived together and he wouldn't answer the phone to me and I wouldn't be able to contact him.
Sometimes he will storm out and be gone for hours in the car and won't answer his phone.
Other times he will go to bed.
The worst was we didn't speak for the entire 6 weeks summer holidays last year. I can't even remember what that was about. But nothing major. Its horrible to live with.
After 20 odd years I've had enough. There are other issues aswell but this bothers me the most.
My mum said her first husband was the same and would sulk for days. It's just horrible to be around!!
Does anyone have any advice apart from the obvious LTB?

Never experienced anything like this . Your relationship is insane .
How old are your kids , you say they are older but 10 isn’t that old - especially to be allowed Squid games ….
I feel incredibly sad that you’ve allowed them to grow up in such an abusive dystopian hell hole.
He doesn’t work and they are older…. why isn’t he working ?

I genuinely don’t understand why you are enabling him to bring your kids up in such a toxic environment

Op, I feel this thread will be very helpful.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/3448545-Confronting-DH-about-his-sulking?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

This epic thread where Mumsnetters share godawful behaviour by sullen silent-treatment sulkers is worth a read. It's jawdropping how vile they can be. You are not alone.

And you'll see just how many of them are talking about their EX DHs.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5071609-top-places-exh-sulked-can-anyone-top-these-semi-lighthearted

He must have mental health issues

That's really insulting to the millions of people with mental health conditions who manage to not be women and child abusers every day.
He's making an active choice.

You say in your first post he sometimes does this to the children too?

You need to separate, OP.

This is a damaging environment for your children to be raised in, and it will have consequences for them.

You say in your second post that it's only aimed at you, so I'm not sure which is accurate, but regardless it will impact them, even if he 'only' abuses you like this.

Please choose your children, I had a mother that didn't and a childhood marred by constant sadness.
We have no relationship now.

He will speak to them , just not me

I think you're (perhaps subconsciously?) minimising here as people have reacted so strongly. You were clear in your first post that he does sometimes ignore the children too.

If we have an argument or a disagreement, afterwards he will not speak to me and sometimes the children too

This is such a damaging environment for them and they are learning that this is a normal relationship dynamic when it's so far beyond that.

I can't imagine the emotional and physical stress it would cause a child to live under the same roof as both parents for six weeks while they don't talk to each other.

They will need counselling once you hopefully end the relationship. I think it would be really beneficial for you and for them.

And did your giant man-baby react when he realised he'd done his last sulk?

He is a manipulative and abusive man baby. Pathetic.

He feels powerful, he decides when to speak again and do things for you. He makes you suffer. Take the initiative and turn the tables. Issue him an ultimatum that you intend to keep - the next time is the last time, you'll be through with him.