Setting boundaries for 15yr DD since having sex with 15yr old bf

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Hello please be kind this is my first ever post, and I'm nervous but a little lost rn.
Long and short of it is that we have learned our 15yr old DD has recently had (protected) sex with 15 yr old bf. Was in bedroom with door ajar and parents in the house. They've been together 6 mths. She's an amazing smart mature kid, as a pair they seem close and he's a nice enough kid. Background to our family is in the last 1.5 yrs we've had 2 traumatic bereavements in the family rendering myself and DH were emotionally absent for a time.
Wondering how to play this without drama. We don't condone it all (in fact I'm devastated) and will do everything not to encourage this further but want to be supportive and create open communication with her in anything she may need. I didn't get this with my mum at all and only have a really bad experience and memories to draw on. They are underage and imo they may be physically ready they aren't emotionally ready.
We have always said ok to him being around and only when there's an adult in the house (we work from home so always at home) and the bedroom door must be open - but I think this changes everything. Just don't know where to start (other than the obvious about consent & contraception) ...
Thanks for reading this long post, any of you experienced mums out there with pointers on maintaining good relationship with DD and setting clear boundaries going forward and through past consenting age?

This is how my parents dealt with it. Certainly put me off. It was the 80s I suppose.

They're 15, 6 month relationship, protection being used. It sounds largely sensible to me!

She isn't sneaking out drinking in the park with mates having unprotected sex in bushes (was rather common when I was a young warthog).

It's not risky behaviour, and clamping down on it will result in her doing something less safe, trusting you less, and actually can negatively impact her ability to form healthy relationships.

Reinforce doing it safely, offer to help with further contraception (e.g. LARC), emphasise consent. If she's mature enough to engage with you and make safe choices imo she's old enough to consent.

If they can't have sex in your house, most teenagers will have it somewhere else, much less safe (ie in a park? Public toilet etc). It's much better that they're somewhere safe

I'd ensure your DD watches this:

So has she, the "law" goes both ways.

This is totally normal. I'm not sure why you think the age of consent and being underage is so important. It isn't really. In response to a post above You can consent at any age over 13. Anything below that is rape.

The age of consent is to protect vulnerable children from abuse and exploitation. The police do not look to prosecute teenagers in consensual relationships. It's a grey area but safeguarding guidelines are becoming clearer.

So being underage is a complete irrelevant concept. It's not alcohol sales!

This what you need to do

1 limit the time they spend together at home so they don't become isolated
2 get contraception- I think implant unless you don't mind being a grandma

1. Ensure her school work isn't affected

4 ensure she she's here friends 5 ensure she continues her sports 6 they both maintain a part of family life so they stay and talk and have manners not dashing up to their rooms

She does not need counselling but I suggest it would be helpful for you to process the traumatic times you have had.

Because it is. And has been for centuries. Whilst most of us don't like to think of our teens as being sexually active, many of them are. And pretending otherwise is what leads to teenage pregnancy and teenagers sneaking around putting themselves in risky situations.

I've posted already on this thread (15 yo son), but just want to thank others for putting my mind at ease.
I feel reassured that I'm doing the best I can. @fatgirlswims I can tick off that my son is seeing his friends, doing his sport and keeping his own interests.

What I haven't done is talk about MAP with him.

For me I would use the fact that they both used their brains & used protection & sit down and jave a very honest conversation with your dd,explain you are although the whole situation is not something that you are happy about the fact that they both used sensible precautions makes you very proud of her, reassure her that you want her to feel she is able to come to you with any concerns or for advice at anytime & that you will promise to refrain from judgement. If she feels she can have a honest & open relationship with you without you being judgemental or angry, she is far more likely to come to you if she ever feels unsafe or feels pressurised into doing things she's not comfortable with. Ensure you reiterate to her about consent too, that she completely understands that whether their in a loving relationship or not, she has the right to say no at anytime & that even if she did something once if she didn't feel comfortable doing it she should never feel pressure to do it again.

Or just teach them that consent is always required and it’s completely acceptable to say no without any need for an excuse.

She's a child.

So, what would you do?

What is the best plan then?

Stop them from seeing each other? Remove the door from her room? Scream and shout at her for choices she made about her own body?

Nothing magically happens at midnight when they go from 15 to 16 you know.

It's more important that they are safe, informed and have an open line of communication at 15 than waiting for the day they turn 16 and going for it.

Removing the door won't stop them, clearly 🤣

I honestly do find that bit shocking. I wouldn't have sex in my own home with the door ajar whilst others are home, let alone in my parents house.