Minor thing putting me off but maybe I’m being unreasonable

[joycemarie]

I’m going out with a man and we usually meet somewhere in the city for our dates.

I’m usually arriving first because that is what I always do in every situation.

He arrives bang on time but one thing that I find strange is that as he is always arriving with his earbuds in his ears, he sees me, stops 1 meter away or so right in front of me, remove his earbuds, put them in the case, put the case in his pocket and then proceeds to greet me.

It happens every time.

The reason why I find it strange is because I would either geet the person as I see them and then remove my earbuds while greeting or after OR I would remove my earbuds just before arriving.

But stand there watching him doing it while right in front of me with as little as an eye contact until he finishes what he is doing so he can acknowledge me feels weird.

You really see this as an issue?
Him removing his ear buds?

I find it really strange that this would even remotely bother anyone.

What's he like as a date?
Is everything else good?

You are the weird one. I’d probably take them out as I walked in but always before greeting someone.

That's got to be one of the weirdest things to be put off by ever, but if it bugs you, it bugs you.

He sounds really polite and in the moment actually.

Good god. Poor fella, trying to be polite and you still have an issue. This is absolutely a you problem.

This is exactly what I do, had no idea people would find it odd

This is one of the weirdest Icks I’ve ever read on MN and I suspect if it was AIBU it would be a pretty unanimous yes you are

I think what he’s doing is perfectly normal. I think it would be ruder to greet you with them in tbh

I think it’s fine to take them out, but a bit odd to avoid greeting you and to avoid eye contact while he puts them carefully in a case and then in his pocket. He’s probably less likely to lose them that way, but I can see why you’d be taken aback.

I seem to be in disagreement with previous posters, as I’d definitely find that a bit weird too OP.

It’s strange that he stops a bit away from you to take them out. Especially if he isn’t talking to someone as he approaches you.

I think is the lack of aknowledgement, no smile, minimal eye contact and he stops further than arms lengh but right in front of me

I think that is what I find weird. He stops right in front of me but a bit far than he walks towards me and gets close.

It feels weird standing there watching this all the time but MN declared it is me, so it must be 🤷‍♀️

Is everything else okay?
Can you mention it to him?

It could be something simple like he’s lost lots of earbuds in the past and he’s developed a strategy of consciously putting them away so he won’t do so again.

Ask him?

It’s not you imho. MN itself is weird sometimes 😉

I’m like him. I don’t tend to make eye contact while I’m removing my earbuds because for me it’s polite to remove them before I get into the social interaction.

I do think it’s polite to remove them first. To take the extra time to place them in a case and in a pocket without even making eye contact is unusual I think.

My 16 year old daughter does exactly this when I walk down to meet her sometimes off the bus from college. I think it's because she's very conscious of losing them so wants to get them in the box and safe before she interacts with me otherwise she might just pop them in her pocket and then ending up losing one.

Its odd that such a minor thing bothers you. We all have our eccentricities and different ways of doing things. Sometimes when I am meeting a date, I get nervous and avoid eye contact till I'm actually in front of them. Not sure what the big deal is?

My 20 year old DS is the same. Probably because he’s lost one before and got a lecture so he’s ultra careful now to make sure they’re in the case and in his pocket.

Can’t you just position yourself so you can’t see him as he approaches you? Would that solve the “problem”?

Yes, I think he might just be worried about losing them. It’s not a big deal in isolation but mention it to him to put your mind at rest.

This!

I’m with you on this one. Why can’t he take them out before he enters the venue?

But why should he?

Because it’s not very polite of him to stop a metre from OP, but not greet her or even make eye contact while he removes earbuds, places them in a case and puts them away?

I don’t think you can say that is universally considered rude (as evidenced by this thread). He could quite reasonably have no idea the OP is perturbed by it so may see absolutely no reason to take them off outside.

You have 3 choices -

1. Get over it
2. Ask him to stop doing it
3. Dump him

I don’t think it would wind me up when someone chose to take their ear buds out (although it does sound oddly performative) but if it really bothers you, I would ask him not to do it.