Freeloader?

[Potsy123]

Hi everyone, so something has been bothering me …. I am a single mum of four on universal credit and have been with a guy for almost five years now (still live separately) I haven’t got a huge income whereas the man I’m with has a very decent salary. He comes to my house and doesn’t bring anything to contribute food wise (sometimes stays for three nights eating my food etc) the other day he brought a pack of sausages… we didn’t end up eating them and so he took them back with him when he left …. I’m a little gobsmacked and not sure how to address it. I feel used and it’s quite in my face and so not sure what to say when it happens (this has happened before with other food!!) any advice would be appreciated!

Stop inviting him over.

It sounds like you're going to keep putting up with it so he's going to keep doing it. Why wouldn't he? There's no consequences. You sound so timid with the 'a little' and so on. Why are you so keen to keep hold of him when he acts like this?

I bet he could peel an orange in his pocket, hes that tight 🫤🍊

What do you want to teach your children about relationships and what are they learning here?.

Why have you accepted so little for yourself from a relationship?.

He shouldnt come at your home. Why do women do this?

These things get me frustrated every time. So you found a guy who never really fell in love with you, does not care for you or your children but happily comes to have free sex, food and so on. How on earth women don't stop before starting such visits? I don't invite people who I know are even genuine for a single cup of tea before making sure they are decent

this is a stranger, using your cuttlery, bathroom , toilet seat, and all

stop to think...how women don't stop to think

Get rid of this scrooge. In fact he makes Ebenezer Scrooge look like the Secret Millionaire.

Send him the link to this thread and block

After 5 years he will never change

I’ve always been a people pleaser and was taught to keep quiet when I wasn’t happy so I think it’s probably a consequence of that how it’s got this far. I’ve cooking and feeding those I love but it’s never been take take take as it is here and I think everyone is right- he’s not a life long partner.

Bet he has numerous showers/baths at yours too

It’s clear what he gets out of the relationship but what do you get out of it?

I know people like this and they don't normally change, it's just how they are. My FIL is like it and my MIL constantly has to hide what gifts she gets people and what she really spends on things. You don't want that kind of future. I could see in the future if you shared finances him being very controlling.

You could dump him and save the money spent on his vittles to give the five of you a nice treat now and again!

I'm amazed he hasn't tried to move in with you by now, this type likes to move in by stealth so they can cocklodge off you and get you to look after their DC when it's their turn to have them.

Just say to him. "I love having you here. But I am feeling the cost. As you are here quite a bit I will need you to contribute more. You can either give me a weekly contribution or we will go out and you can pay for the groceries I am buying - which will be more than just what you eat to cover increase in water bill etc I don't want to sound tight but I am on a budget as you know and this arrangement isn't currently working."

My poor mum married a tight fucker like this. Calculating to last penny what she owed on shopping day etc.
He even went into her online banking once to transfer the money himself because she didn't do it quickly enough!! There were so many things she wanted (was willing to pay for herself) in their home, that he refused, and in the end she never got.
Don't end up like my mum.
Dump this fucker and give your kids that extra

He won’t want to take 4 kids on so is obviously only coming over for what he can get.

He would have been out of the door with his measly blooming sausages pelted off his head if he were with me. Being stingy is a massive red flag ,he only thinks about number one ,him.

"This isn't working for me anymore. You have nice qualities but your meanness is too much of a turnoff sorry"

Gosh ! Why are western men so pathetically stingy?????? 😡 I hope you dump him and that you do so without further delay. I’m fuming 😤

Every thing he eats uses in your home is taking away from your kids 3 x 52 = 156 meals at least less food shopping is more trips out / ice cream /school shoes unless he pays for these things for you all have a long think about if he’s worth taking from your family. I would bring it up in conversation and unless he starts doing a bit of food shopping I would send him off home and potentially get rid and find someone willing to pay their own way.

He took his sausages back home and he charged you for half the fish and chips 🙄

Have you asked him why he's so tight with money? I hope you charge him half of what he's eaten or what you have bought for him.

Bin him.