Would also find it weird?

[Labille]

I have been with this guy for 10 months. He is American.

I started buying tools and learn DIY on youtube which I find very daunting.
He mentioned he is very good at it and had the best tools back in the US but didn’t bring then here.
I asked him if he could help me put a couple of pictures on a wall and teach me the basics.
He refused explaining that since the walls here are different from the US and the tools I have are different frim his, he doesn’t think he can do a good job and I better call a professional.

I don’t drive. He does.
I told him I wanted to go to Ikea and buy lots of things. I asked if I paid for us to hire a car and payed for petrol, would he be able to drive us there and back?
He said no because ‘people in the UK don’t drive properly’.
We are in London. How are all these people driving not driving properly?

I know his a perfectionist and I have a sense he doesn’t want to do something out of his comfort zone and fail. Once I wanted us both to cook a recipe I found. He was ok with it. We bought the ingredients. Once he realised I had never cooked that before he became grumpy because he had never cooked that before either. He only likes to cook for people the recipes he had perfected overvthe years.

I’m easy going. I’m thinking this is a incompatibility and can be quite draining long term.
Or am I overthinking?

Sounds like a liar

Dump him.

Well, it sounds as though he doesn’t want to do these things . Ask him how the walls are different in the US! 😂

America has far worse road accident and mortality rates than the UK so he's talking bollocks.

He does sound like a perfectionist and if you're like me, my motto is "perfection is the emery of good". I couldn't deal with him, but you know you best.

What's the LT plan for him? Remain in the UK, go home?

Enemy obviously! LOL at a mistake in that motto.

No you're not overthinking. He sounds like a real pain.

Also he sounds very self aggrandising.

I get his point about houses in the USA being different from those in the UK as they are. US homes are made out of pretty much nothing but drywall and hope. However tools are tools. They're universal. A spanner is a spanner is a spanner whether you be in the US or the UK or Bolivia! He clearly doesn't know what he's doing and has probably never lifted a tool in his life but wants to impress you by having "all the best tools".

Also, funny how he's such a chef until it comes to making something he'd have to do on his own!

Also, also, are you sure he can drive?

Billy bullshitter needs putting back on the boat!

The driving is fine if he's not comfortable in a busy city on this side yet but all he had to do was say that.

I couldn't be bothered with the twisty excuses and blame shifting for something that doesn't need to be an issue. Layers of shame, self aggrandisement and perfectionism or dishonesty or a combo of all? Not sure I could be bothered to find out.

He'd rather say ‘people in the UK don’t drive properly’ than 'I'm too scared to drive in a busy city.

Makes him a coward and a liar.

He's a lying liar who is painting a completely false picture of himself.

Too much like hard work!
Hes draining you.
Time to chuck this one back in the pond.

We ended up going to Ikea by public transport. I bought things to be delivered to my house and he did the same. We live separately.

I was hungry and he said the food looked horrible and the line was too long. I told him to find a table while I faced the line and bought us food and he cleared his plate.
The disappointing part was that he did not want to follow the Ikea flow and kept taking the short cuts to go to the sections we needed and this ‘spoiled’ my Ikea experience lol

I completely understand if he doesn’t want to do things but I’d rather him just say it instead of giving excuses that don’t make sense

Also I sent him the recipe we decided, so he agreed.

Throw him back; he's a weirdo.
None of this is related to his being an American.
(guess where I grew up)

I think the narrow roads worries him maybe?

Long plan is to stay here.

I know maybe I’m being mysogenist but what is the point for me to be with a partner who can do DIY but wont do it for me. Can drive but won’t drive in the UK.

I have massive childhood trauma re: accidents that is why I don’t drive though I tried to learn many times

Seriously, dump him. Find someone who shares your approach to life and doesn’t suck the fun out of everything. He sounds like hard work. It will just get harder after another year, 5 years, 10 years, children, 30 years.

That sound you heard @Labille was the collective slamming shut of vaginas in response to Billy Bullshit the babyman.

Tools are tools - there’s a reason tradespeople emigrate to far flung lands for work and find it. A saw does not magically transform at a national border. A hammer is a hammer in any language and has been for thousands of years.

People don’t drive any worse in London than anywhere else in this car mad world.

The sulking over cooking something new is beyond tedious.

You are not overthinking - you are under thinking. He’s not a perfectionist, he’s insecure and willing to look an absolute clown with his feeble excuses rather than give things a go. What a draining waste of life that would be if it was for the long haul.

He's fucking hard work OP, throw him back

He's made me annoyed, and I've never even met him. Thankfully.

Chick him back and raise your too
low bar on men going forward. And yes what is the point if him at all?

This mans longer term plan is to live in the U.K.?

He does cook well but the tried and tested recipes are the only ones he cooks for people

Yes as an American he can drive and saud he had a SUV before coming here

I think because I bought a cheap drill for learning and his was a much more expensive brand but no excuses

To be fair, houses are generally constructed differently in thr US, and they also drive on the other side of the road which can be daunting.

But the excuses would really pee me off. Also, he doesnt enjoy Ikea the way you do - you're there for an experience l, he is there to do what's needed and get out.

He’s absolutely full of shit. And key you queue and pay for the good - does this happen often?

What a tool. Ditch him!

He’s a bullshitter.

That is what I’m thinking

Rather he say he is insecure about doing stuff than shift the blame on tools or a whole population who apparently can’t drive - could have said ‘the roads are narrow and the driving is on the opposite side I’m used to’

The excuses sound like such BS

He's just too lazy to do it and he's giving you excuses it really isn't that complicated

Why has he moved to the UK if he’s not willing to learn and embrace differences? Isn’t that one of the reasons for moving country? It’s not like it’s a surprise that he’d need to learn to drive on the other side of the road. Doesn’t he want to get in a car and drive and see new places?