Would also find it weird?

[Labille]

I have been with this guy for 10 months. He is American.

I started buying tools and learn DIY on youtube which I find very daunting.
He mentioned he is very good at it and had the best tools back in the US but didn’t bring then here.
I asked him if he could help me put a couple of pictures on a wall and teach me the basics.
He refused explaining that since the walls here are different from the US and the tools I have are different frim his, he doesn’t think he can do a good job and I better call a professional.

I don’t drive. He does.
I told him I wanted to go to Ikea and buy lots of things. I asked if I paid for us to hire a car and payed for petrol, would he be able to drive us there and back?
He said no because ‘people in the UK don’t drive properly’.
We are in London. How are all these people driving not driving properly?

I know his a perfectionist and I have a sense he doesn’t want to do something out of his comfort zone and fail. Once I wanted us both to cook a recipe I found. He was ok with it. We bought the ingredients. Once he realised I had never cooked that before he became grumpy because he had never cooked that before either. He only likes to cook for people the recipes he had perfected overvthe years.

I’m easy going. I’m thinking this is a incompatibility and can be quite draining long term.
Or am I overthinking?

He sounds like a joy sucking pillock. Do you ever have fun when you’re with him?

I know how to cook thank you very much. Cooking together is an activity that couples usually do.

Yes I am learning DIY. I will not be an expert overnight. Plus having someone show you f2f is better than youtube and also could be a fun activity for couples.

As for driving, I had many lessons with many different instructors over the years. I have a very deep childhood trauma regarding this which is beside the point of the post. I still want to learn. Meanwhile I can walk, take taxi/uber, tube, train, bus, bike. Failing all that I can just get stuff delivered like I did and usually do.
Again I thought that driving to Ikea, buying stuff and driving back home could be something different that we could do. We ended up doing it anyway but by public transport and delivery so driving is not that essential especially in London.

I’m not dependent or reliant on him or anyone. Just trying to get to know him better by suggesting the activities in the OP which proved to be helpful since I now know we are not compatible.

No, not a lot

I love nature and walking in parks/woods / by the river etc but he hates it and complains about bugs and is worried about tick bites.

Sometimes when we are in nature I point out something beautiful and he is just ‘meh’

We can’t even watch movies properly when at his as he doesn’t have a TV and we have use his laptop. Also we don’t have the same taste so choosing something take ages

The other day I was trying to convince him to watch Billy Elliot but he refused because ‘why would he want to watch a working class boy who likes ballet’?
I tried to convince him to have a go at least but he refused point blank.

I was bummed because prior to that he made me watch Yesterday which is also a British movie - I had no interest but compromised anyway - I didn’t even liked in the end though.

Yes lol What does he major in?

I’m just going to say it is related to social sciences

Apart from the fact he sounds like an absolute arse, the hanging pictures thing? Buy some Command Strips. They're brilliant! (No, I'm not on commission!) I use them for just about everything, even keeping a planter stuck on an outside window sill and Christmas lights.

Have you actually seen him do any DIY, or drive? It sounds like he could be unable to do either, and has a weird fear that it emasculates him.

Or he is just unwilling to ever do anything to help you, or make you happy, which makes him ripe for dumping.

I'm not sure an American licence can just drive a UK car. I think they need something else

But the rest , he's lying

You are clearly very different people who like doing different things to the extent that you are not enjoying your time with him- no surprise there, would anyone?
So why have you let this drag out for 10 months? I would think you'd usually know by a couple of months that you're incompatible.
Funny how he's expert at things he doesn't have to prove otherwise in. Yet, he refuses to try anything new, so he's probably less than truthful in his abilities. Covering up his ineptness by lies, sounds tedious. Either bin him off or become like him - a moaner about everything you see wrong, without doing a thing about it.

Cut this one loose, you’ll have a better time with someone who ticks less of the money and status boxes, but is actually genuinely invested in helping you and is genuinely funny and exciting to be with. This guy will only become more boring and useless with time and age, especially if you are already financially secure yourself. You don’t need this bloody liability. Someone more like him will better enjoy him.

P.S, he may be on the spectrum, fear of doing new things or change or transition periods are an issue. I recognise this, but I try to do something about it and force myself to try new things, especially if I really like someone and am trying to impress him.

He sounds incredibly lazy and unmanly, imagine being afraid of a tick! You’d be better off dating someone’s grandma! I couldn’t be attracted to someone like this if I had any choice in the matter.

If you interested him and were able to date, you will be able to interest and date other men as well, believe in yourself.

Two things, firstly your man is a bs merchant and secondly you don’t need him to teach or help with diy or ferry things from IKEA. IKEA has a delivery service and secondly, if you really struggle with DIY, enroll on a course or do as I did and hired a handyman to teach me. Incidentally, said handyman after word of mouth from friends who also wanted to learn, set up a business where he teaches people the basics. He markets himself as the handy dad you never had.

For heavens sake.

You don’t have to drive to explore places. The rate at which people explore can be different- he is already living daily life in a new country which may be the pace he likes.

He does sound full of excuses, however- OP, you have YouTube you don’t need him to show you how to put up a picture frame. And yes, houses are different.
I don’t think you should have pushed him into driving either.

He’s not going to learn new recipes if he doesn’t try them first!

He sounds like a big Billy Bullshitter.

And bloody hard work!

Why are you with him then?

They whole point of a relationship is that you make each others lives better. More fun, more interesting, more supportive, easier, more exciting.

Without any of that, what's the point?

His behaviour is odd. A combination of possible lying or exagerrating, not wanting to help you learn a skill he's apparently brilliant at, not wanting to do things you enjoy.

When it comes down to it, he isn't adding joy to your life, he's taking it away.

Things in your life are supposed to be either useful or what you know to be beautiful. He seems to be neither so I hope he's shit hot in bed (except you say he brings you no joy ...)

Umm, so, what do you want to do with him now?

Yeah he sounds like a self aggrandising bullshitter.

I wouldn’t want to drive in London and I’ve been driving in the UK for 30 years, and I also know that putting things up on walls can require different fixings etc depending on what your walls are made from (mine appear to be cheese as nothing stays up!).

But I would be honest about this rather than blaming other people’s driving or the tools. It’s literally a saying isn’t it, a bad workman blames his tools.

I love Ikea and would be most annoyed at being rushed through it. And the food IS shit, but I still can’t resist meatballs and chips with sauce and jam whenever I go!

Throw this one back in the Atlantic OP. Plenty more fish out there.

Doesn’t sound fun at all

He sounds like a five year old.
Infact that's an insult to five year olds.

A fun sucking narcissist who will drain the life out of you in time.

It's OK to be single you know! xD

He's not a narcissist.😂
Waffling, big talk. Yes.
I don't believe he has any tools nor can he do any DIY.

Does he not have sex with you either cos they do it different in the US?!

Those pesky UK hammers are so different to American hammers 😁

@Labille have you dumped this boring lying arse yet?

He's a liar.

So going by his understanding tools from the UK wouldn't work in the US. How on earth did my DF and subsequent engineers manage using UK tools over there?

Being on a different side of the road takes some getting used to but driving is driving.

People like him are wearing. He's going on about how great he is without any evidence of anything.