had huge guilt trips from his family and mine too
Just to add, always keep in mind parents decidedly selfish motives for wanting couples not to break up;
When your partner becomes single & a single Dad, he potentially becomes much more your in-laws "problem".
They often end up being housed back in their parents home for at least a while, they often require their parents to get more involved in grand child care, hosting it, doing it. If they're not particularly into looking after themselves (chore wise) they're now their parents/mother's burden in terms of meals, cleaning, laundry etc. If they have any lazy, addictive, dysfunctional sides that affect them keeping work etc., they're now their parents problem again....as opposed to their partner's.
On the other side - your family - parents often think they'll become responsible for (at worst) burdened with extra time, financial, support etc etc demands if you become a single Mum.
Then there's the "respectability" and image factors. A lot of parents don't particularly want to have to tell wider family, friends etc that their child's marriage/ltr has failed and they're now a single parent.
Then there's the belief that their grand kids will be adversely affected. People are very good at seeing adverse things in break ups/divorces/single parenthood. Not so good at recognising adverse things in dysfunctional, abusive households. As long as the household is intact, they conveniently think it's preferable.
These are the sorts of things your family and his family are probably thinking about/motivated by ..... They're not thinking about you. About what's best for you and your son. They're also probably conveniently blind to the effects of your partner's abusive behaviour. If he's not battering you back and blue, it's no doubt minor/not significant in their minds.