Why oh why is there always another woman 🙁

[Unhappyheart]

I’m so sad and desperate praying someone up will message.
Broke up with my partner about 4 months ago after what I thought was the perfect relationship. I loved him so much and try believed he loved me. All my family and friends thought we were going to b getting married and everyone commented how happy we both were.
anyway out of the blue he told me he had financial problem and needed to sort tyrm
out and didn’t want to drag me down.
I was devastated
however I kept in touch from a distance to offer support whilst trying as best as I can to get on with my life. He maintained he just wanted to struggle on his own couldn’t accept my help.
mom Christmas Day he changed his profile picture to a photo with his girlfriend and it is clearly not a new thing. Also he’s 55 she’s 30 max. He couldn’t look happier.
I know I should be glad he’s not worth it etc but I cannot control my emotions at all feel so so devastated and haven’t slept for two days.

why do they do this. I truly believed he was a good guy 🙁

There have been OW twice in my life Once with DH 1 and secondly with a 5 yr partner. It was so very very painful for many reasons particularly with DH1 with whom i had 2 DC. But op none of their relationships have lasted since the breakup. DH1 is divorced again working overseas and meanwhile our DC (young adults) are asleep right now in my house after a lovely christmas and “partner” is on his 3 or 4 th relationship. Me op? Im happily remarried. He wont last with her and i suspect the picture was a fuck you or brag point depending on who saw it. He lied
about the finances he didnt want to spend money dating you both so he fabricated an “acceptable” excuse. Im my dating experience in my 40s men’s feet never touch the floor of the jungle they just swing from branch to branch. Take care
and take time to heal

Really sorry OP. What a bastard. He'll do the same to her and is probably spinning her all sort of lies like he did with you.

Some people are, sadly, really good at deceiving and manipulating others. We are all vulnerable to people like this, especially to someone who has had quite a bit of practice. This is entirely on him, not you. You are no less smart for having fallen for this, just human.

Personally I think he's in the wrong and I'm surprised by some of these comments. The financial stuff was clearly an excuse for breaking it off so he could pursue his new love interest. It's clearly a relationship of reasonable standing now as you don't post pics of yourself as a couple after a few dates. So OP is absolutely right in suspecting that this has overlapped. He's cowardly and manipulative.

OP I know you're hurting but you're talking about months of moping around and now this ruining your Christmas. I don't get the impression you were living together or have any other ties, so in the greater scheme of things you were still dating?! Seriously, stop allowing this man to affect your mood. Block, delete and move on!

You deserve better.

Because it was easier for him to not bother with the truth. Sorry OP - he wasn't the nice man you thought he was x

However, statistics will tell you it’s very unlikely.

Also IF you’re planning to get married, you’re normally wanting to tackle problems TOGETHER. Not leaving the person you live to sort them out on your own.
That, in itself, was a big sign he was (at the very least) finding excuses to end the relationship. Aka he was lying.

Thank you everyone for your comments I am finding them incredibly helpful and supportive and helping me a lot. I’ve managed to a cup of tea and a shower whoop whoop. So honestly thank you.
I also agree that a lot of this is my responsibility I know I should have checked out straight away instead of wanting to be nice. Everyone who knows us was convinced he was depressed had problems. I kept saying has he got someone else and every single person told me no way!!! Even though it seemed the obvious answer. All my family are completely shocked. They all loved him and said he seemed to really love me and they can’t believe he’s moved on so quick. But yes I am also grateful I didn’t get into any financial situation with him which I would have so guess something was looking out for me. Honestly thank you everyone and sorry to those of you experiencing the same things in the past and now.

Left her hanging like this was temporary like they were getting back together after he fixed his issues its dishonest

It's like a second break up be kind to yourself

So thanks to social media and it basically being a small world I have found out they have been together for 7 months 😱
he has also moved in with her.
durung that 2/3 month overlap we went on holiday and everything. I’ve also looked through our messages again and there is no sign of anything. We seem to spend all our time together and he is constantly telling me he loves me and misses me and stuff. Normal jokes. Buying me flowers I really can’t believe it.

mum fighting the urge to let him know I know he lied but I know he won’t care and there’s no point.
i Feel it is a cocklodger situation tbh a woman to be the housewife doing stuff for him which I’m not that type and I’m glad he choose her not me in that respect.
I still can’t sleep though despite 2 sleeping tablets and still not eaten which I really need to ass feeling awful now going to try see dr this morning but doubt much chance.

When we broke up he also said to me at least I’m not a cheating scum bag. I remember thinking it was a strange thing to say because I hadn’t mentioned cheating as far as he made out he was in a bad place with financial problems. But he is a cheating scumbag. His words.

And will you be forwarding the dated message correspondence to his new lady friend so she can see what a delightful specimen she's moved in with her?

I'm so sorry, what a shit.

i Feel it is a cocklodger situation tbh a woman to be the housewife doing stuff for him which I’m not that type and I’m glad he choose her not me in that respect.

Good riddance to bad rubbish!

If he's stupid enough to have a baby with her, due to his age other men will be laughing at him.

Take care of yourself, never doubt your own good instincts and have a wonderful new year.

How long were you together

At least you didn't give him any money, he sounds like a classic con artist.

You didn't give him any money . . did you?

He's very cruel and a coward to do that to you OP . Believe me when l say, you are totally better off finding out what sort of man he is now, than further on in the relationship . Good luck for the future OP.

He's disgusting
Especially to have led you on- clearly to keep the door open with you while he tested things out with her.
He's 50 ffs no need to do a Facebook upload and he could have given you a heads out or removed you on fb to spare your feelings if you're still in regular chat.
You can be both livid and devastated that he's turned out like this while also not wanting to be with someone when can do this - but you still will naturally grieve the man you hoped he was and the future you thought you'd have.
What a prick.
Block him on all platforms please and focus on making yourself healthier, happier and hotter x

No I wouldn’t forward the messages because I’m glad he chose her and he’s a flipping liability to women so she can keep the rubbish she probably thinks she “won”. He’d just go out and get someone new who wouldn’t deserve him.

Thank you. Tbh in the photo I saw he has his hand on her tummy as if she is pregnant but it might just be a weird pose mmmm
when I showed my mum the photo she said that girls pregnant. A 55 year old with a baby! But surely not. Poor baby if so 😩

We were together 2.5 years so long enough but now so glad not longer. I just wish he had been the wonderful man I thought he was as I really did adore him and thought he was amazing 😡

No I didn’t but we had talked about buying a house and starting a business and I am so thankful that did not happen!!! Omg I was so close to that.

but he did a bit of a u turn and started saying “I just want an easy life” which I now interpret as I just want to move in with this other woman and have her cook my tea for me every night instead of do something harder like buy a house with you and start a new business. He went from being all gung Ho to defeated and down but I put it down to his mental health and financial problems like the idiot I am!!

I agree. I think he played the “I just need to sort the financial problems out poor me” game to keep me hanging just incase. And also to look like the hero as if he was saving me from him!!!! And he could still look like the good guy!! Sickening.

Thank you to everyone it’s helping a lot.
I still cannot sleep even with two nytol and still can’t eat but logically I do know he is not worth it and I know I’ve had a lucky escape.
but I do wonder how I have had such bad luck as I was so cautious to get to know him all my friends and family really loved him everyone thought he was a good guy who genuinely loved me!
everyone is stunned and I am so so shocked and devastated.
I did find out that apparently she’s horrible to him and talk to him like shit puts him down etc. whereas we always got on great and I always spoke highly of him and to him so it’s upsetting to know he’s chosen someone who’s not nice to him over me. It makes me think does he really love her so much he ll put up with anything or maybe his low self esteem prefers bad treatment versus being with me someone who only had good to say to him and about him. Confusing
I wish I could sleep and calm down 🙁

Sounds like a midlife crisis to me. Don’t want to get your hopes up, OP, but he may come back grovelling when you don’t want him anymore. Take back some control and choose your dignity. Soldier on. He will have the regrets in the end, I wouldn’t be surprised at all.

Thank you. Everyone says he ll regret it but he has gone so cold it’s like he’s another person overnight.
I don’t think he does regret!
they also do look well suited in a way I think he would love someone cooking his tea every night.
mand kind of moving in so quickly together but guess that can be a red flag.
and makes me think about all the hints now about moving in with me. Thank god I didn’t bite and kept trying to make things equal like we d buy a house together. Thank god I didn’t.

that’s why I think he’s covklodging with her because she’s let him move in so quickly.

I feel embarrassed to admit that when I saw the photo I called him and was angry and crying. I have never done that before in my life.
he put the phone down on me.
I would never expect him to be so cold and cruel not the man I thought he was at all
then blocked him on everything
is that embarrassing?