Christmas dinner with an Alcoholic

[Dmsatdawn]

My husband is an alcoholic and is 60+ days sober. We are hosting a family Christmas dinner party of 5 adults, including my 94 yr old father. I’m posting for advice from anyone with experience - do I deny my guests of alcohol - specially my dad who loves a glass of red (and may not spend many more christmases with us)?

Grandad is gone (he was 98) now but the last few Christmases he couldn't have alcohol having been a heavy red wine drinker. Bought him a good quality alcohol free Red the first year and he loved it. It continued until he passed. Perhaps get a bottle and just don't mention it's alcohol free?
We've raised our alcohol free range over last few years at Christmas. Mocktails galore. Saves having just one designated driver.

This could still be triggering for an alcoholic. I know someone who won’t have non-alcoholic drinks as it’s still an association. They still look and smell like alcohol.

It's one day. If people can't go one day without a drink to support an actual alcoholic staying sober, they need a poke in the eye.

Being around alcohol and others drinking will be a trigger for an alcoholic, particularly this early on in sobriety. I think your husband should be congratulated for calling you out on putting alcohol in the fridge. It shows his desire to remain sober and to remove triggers that will compromise that.

I am sure you do not mean any harm but your view that it is just one day he will need to cope with others drinking is rather naive.

Will make zero difference to your husband whether or not you serve alcohol.

You didn't cause him to drink nor can you cause him to stop.

Focus on yourself.

What a ridiculous comment. How do you think people stop drinking - do you think part of the solution is removing/managing triggers? No one is suggesting his wife caused his drinking nor that she is able to control or cure it. Only he can do that and he will know how. If it means not being exposed to alcohol then others around him have a role to play. This is his home and he needs to feel safe there.