Would you be annoyed if newish boyfriend lost your door key?

[Dovey22]

Boyfriend of 6 months, I’ve started leaving him my key to let himself in if he arrives a bit before I finish work or leaves after me. Today he was meeting me at a hospital appointment and I said to bring the key. After appointment he realises he can’t find the key, looked everywhere, said he maybe left it in the door (!) or it’s fallen out. I was already stressed today due to the hospital appointment, luckily it was all ok but I was definitely pissed off about the key and how it seemed pretty careless. It also triggered me because my ex husband was the biggest man child who needed reminded to lock doors/take key/turn off oven etc etc
anyway he felt I shouldn’t be annoyed as he didn’t mean to lose it, I couldn’t help that I was. Was I wrong to feel pissed off?

…it was in his pocket the whole time

Yes I would be annoyed! Even though it turned up in his pocket. He has treated it (an expression of trust) and your safety, casually/lightly. Take the key off him and don't re-issue it unless and until he demonstrates his trustworthiness.

Id be annoyed if anyone lost my door key, it wouldnt matter how long I'd known them

Are you saying that it wasn't ever lost though? That would annoy me as well, why didn't he check his pockets, isn't that the first place you'd look?

Yeah wasn’t lost in the end. He said he did check his pockets, car etc but I had already went to get my spare key from my brothers house and then he found it

This would annoy me massively - an adult should be able to take care of a key and not be unsure if they’ve left it in the bloody door. I think you may have found another manchild here.

Sidenote: surprised you’re giving him your only key and not a spare!

I know. It’s a new arrangement and I only have the 1 key and spares with family members. I don’t necessarily want to give him a key for whenever he wants just yet

I'd never entrust a key to my house with someone I'd only known for a matter of weeks.

its the best way to prevent being pissed off, just don't trust them!

A matter of weeks? It’s been about 26

Someone I've dated for 6 months wouldn't have a key. You don't really know him. I'd frankly change the locks and not give him a key again.

He doesn’t have a key himself. I’m not at that stage yet. But I have left the key a handful
of times in a safe place so he can go on in if he arrives just before I get home from work

Take the key off him. He is going to be a constant source of worry if he cannot find a key that was in his pocket. Does he regularly misplace his wallet or his phone?

If you're going to give him a key at all, get another cut, put it on a key ring & lend him your spare you don't have to give it to him for keeps if you don't want to just because you get a spare cut.

Though I'm not sure I'd be in a hurry to give him one in a hurry, but also why didn't he put it in his keys or a key ring, but stupid to have a single key loose in his pocket!!

Quite simply, I wouldn't have time for this shit

But I'm over 40 and quite frankly over a lot of shit

And he could have copied it. My mistrust has been forged over many years of seeing the shit that some men do.

Yeah we are too

Another thread where people apparently only have one key.

It’s baffling isn’t it.

Can’t be to annoyed for one mistake! Jeez

Is it? Genuinely? Lol

If you live on your own how many keys do you have for yourself?

I gave my 2 spare keys to family because if I lose my own key then my spare being at home isn’t much help

A boyfriend of 6 months has no need for your key.

Ah another post that could have been saved if only someone got some spare keys cut. Honestly it’s like an epidemic on here.

Well here you go @Dovey22 unsolicited relationship advice from a total stranger on the internet! Problem solved, if only you knew this before, eh?

I don’t want to give him a key to have as a spare

One I use. One spare at home.

Also one friend has one who lives down the road. One the cleaner has. One my ex has. So there's always at least one I can get my hands on.

Hahaha

im new enough to Mumsnet but some of the responses are wild