Hi all. I’m a man in a sexless relationship. I’d rather not be, and our sex life was initially great and still good until around 3 years ago. Unfortunately however, it tailed off over about 2 years to the extent that it completely stopped, which was basically when I gave up even trying to initiate. Being constantly rejected chips away at self esteem and starts to become a bit humiliating. I couldn’t take it anymore.
We’re both in our mid 40s and have 3 children to look after, so life isn’t without its stresses and challenges, but it feels far too young to be giving up on that part of life.
I am unsure whether or not my wife has gone off sex, or if she has just gone off sex with me. I can’t rule out the former but have always had the feeling that it’s the latter. As a result I have put loads of effort into myself to try and increase attraction, but all to no avail. It really is very disheartening and I console myself with the fact that I have at least got myself much fitter (back into 32” trousers) and have a much more stylish wardrobe.
I am fully aware that I don’t have an entitlement to sex with anyone, but I just feel so trapped and lonely in this relationship right now. I can’t see myself actively seeking intimacy outside of the relationship, but if the opportunity came along then I’m fairly sure I wouldn’t turn it down. In the longer term, I’m not actually sure where things are going but there does seem a sense of inevitability about it.
Reason I started this thread wasn’t looking for advice or opinion - please feel free to give it thiugh - but because I read another similar thread on here earlier today where both men and women shared their experiences, frustrations and sadness about their sexless relationships, and it just made me feel a bit better and less alone to know that I’m not the only one suffering. This subject was however over a year old so I didn’t want to dig it up so thought a fresh version was in order.