Husband watches Fb reels with half naked women

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Hi everyone. I just really needed someone else’s opinion on something that I feel sad/ embarrassed to talk about with family, friends 🥺

So my hubby is looking at fb reels randomly and shall I say underdressed women as they pop up.. he isn’t specifically searching for them
(I accidentally saw him from the back as I came back from upstairs) but will linger around when one of these half dressed girls pops up and look at them. What would you say, do, in a situation like this? I’m 3 months pregnant so I might be overreacting but I just feel awfully hurt by this .

feel dumb even asking strangers in the internet but right now I just needed someone to talk to . Xxx

I don't think he's doing anything wrong. If you're feeling insecure then speak to him.

Thank you o feel like I really needed to hear this.

Well I would find it very disrespectful to you.
Have you talked to him about how it makes you feel when you know he is perving over other women?

@Itsacoldcoldwinter thank you. I really don’t know how to even bring it up to be honest. Right now I’m just full of questions, like for how long has he been doing this, thinking of him makes me sick to be honest like how can you?? 🥺

Generally speaking, although FB uses algorithm's, FB reels tend to be really random. You will get shown more reels of a particular genre if you have watched more videos similar but they can still be random.

Its important to remember, that although they may be somewhat sexual, they are not with half naked woman. They will always be fully clothes, or at the very least wearing a bikini or lingerie, and even this is rare from what i have seen.

He will almost certainly be looking at a lot worse than this when you are not around so I really wouldn't worry about the FB reels. And just because he might be looking at 'half naked woman' it does not mean that he doesn't find you attractive.

I can't believe people are ok with this. It's incredibly disrespectful. Using pictures of other women to get their kicks is cheating in my book.

When you say 'half naked', do you mean in swimwear?

Men and women have admired each other's bodies since time began.

I wouldn't be please if my husband was lurking behind me, checking to see how long I 'lingered' when the reels came up on Facebook.

Don't worry about it. There'll always be better looking, fitter people out there than us OP.

I see it a bit like looking at a nice painting, it's just pleasing to the eye.

I think whether this is right or wrong depends on your own feelings towards it. FB algorithms are definitely have a level of fault here. I looked up some work out videos and now I spammed with tiny gym body girls doing suggestive moves in gyms in the worlds smallest gym clothes. This does not excuse a lingering eye, he may well have looked at them at some point and now there is just a barrage of them coming through.

I think if its really bothering you you should speak to him but him looking is not a reflection on how he feels about you, you cant stop him from seeing an attractive woman on the TV and thinking oh she's nice, same goes for finding a man attractive on TV. I get why it bothers you, this is new world of accessible reels that infiltrates our screens is a challenge in relationships and not yet something we have dealt with. But I think its how you frame it in your mind and share how it makes you feel with your DP

I'm a married man. When I was first dating my wife, I realised that I didn't know how she felt about porn and similar things, so I didn't watch any, and after a few months I asked her how she felt about porn and similar things. I was fully prepared to quit porn forever if she said it bothered her, but she actually said that she didn't care.

I think this is one of those things where different people have different opinions and ideally each couple might talk about they each feel. It's OK if some couples are fine with it, but it's also totally fair enough if some people are really not fine with it. Have you had any kind of conversation with him about things like this before? Do you feel like he would be happy to listen to how you feel and to reconsider what he watches?

But its Facebook reels, they are for the most part random and they certainly are not half naked and are most definitely not leering or wanking material .

If you were scrolling FB and an advert for a perfume appeared on your feed with a topless male model, and you saw it, you'd classify that as cheating would you?

Not sure what the OP has to do with porn.

These are reels on FB where the women are (presumably) wearing swimwear, so not even naked and certainly not having sex.

They came up on his feed and according to the OP he 'lingered' on them, that's all.

I've just checked my reels out of interest.

I'd say 50% have got fairly sexualised clothing/ done in a sexual manner.

Why? Because I'm a 40 year old heterosexual male and FB ( and Instagram ) and creators know that sex sells so they will get more engagement, more likes and longer viewing times.

It has noting to do with your husband searching for them, and is most certainly NOT a form of cheating!

@GivingYourHeadAWobble @jinglemybells85 Some of the reels that Facebook puts in my feed are borderline porn. Not actually full-on sex, no, but I could understand some people not feeling comfortable with their partner making an effort to continue watching them (very revealing lingerie, etc.) I'm not trying to say "this counts as cheating in every relationship" - I'm trying to say "different couples agree on different things that are OK or not OK in their particular relationship, and if the OP is unhappy about this then it's understandable, and if my wife was unhappy about this then I would hope that she would discuss it with me" (but I don't know what the OP's husband's viewpoint will be.)

Oh i absolutely get that different people will have differing boundaries.

A lot of my reels are fitness reels, and they usually contain either, topless muscular men showing off their toned physique or, toned woman doing squats in short pants or anything else remotely sexy.

I can guarantee i am more likely to watch the woman over the men, as I'm a heterosexual male, but it doesn't mean I am leering over them, and neither does it mean I'm gay if i watch a muscular man working out on a FB reel ( although reading this back, this does sound pretty gay! )

What is 'borderline porn'?

Not being a dick, just genuinely curious?

How can semi naked women in a reel, be borderline porn if they're not doing anything of a pornographic nature?

Congratulations on your pregnancy OP.

I think you need to be realistic about the fact that men will generally want to look at attractive half naked women. It doesn't mean they don't love you or find you attractive. It doesn't sound like he's actively seeking it out.

Does your partner make you feel attractive?

DH was invited to like a FB group by some of his golf mates, and he is such a dinosaur with technology that he didn't realise that his friend list were getting notifications that he was liking posts/videos. It was called The Gap or something about the gap between women's thighs and I went absolutely mental telling him to remove my family/friends and our daughters from his friend list as frankly he was nothing more than a dirty old man and he could be most of these womens' grandfather. He soon stopped! I'd add that I don't actually care what he looks at in private but ffs not on FB that tells everyone everything.

It's your absolute right to feel upset about it. And given you're pregnant, you're quite within your rights to tell him you don't like it.

@GivingYourHeadAWobble Very revealing lingerie, sexual poses, focus on certain body parts. I'm not meaning to turn OP's thread into a porn debate. You can argue that it's not close enough to porn. My point is that it's understandable that the OP (and some other people) don't feel OK about their partner choosing to linger on such things. These threads usually have a bunch of people saying "all men look at this stuff, we've all decided it's fine, you just have to get over it" but that's not the only valid viewpoint. The crucial thing here will be whether the OP's husband is sympathetic to her feelings or not.

I think a simple, honest, 'what the fuck are you looking at that for?!' mightn't go amiss.

While I agree that SM algorithms up the ante if you let them, it's not hard to reset boundaries, delete and unwatch.

@vibratosprigato thank you. I just feel soo stupid and unattractive. I don’t want him to know how I feel atm. Feel played at 😢

I wouldn't like it. Especially not when pregnant.

We're all different though. Many women would be cool with it and that's fine. I'm definitely not one of them!

Disrespect begins when a man in a supposedly committed monogamous relationship spends his time lusting after photos of other women.
I would go so far as to say the fact his DW is carrying his child in her body and yet he is still lusting after other women's bodies means he is showing utter contempt for his DW.
She shouldn't need to have to ask him not to do this. But of course now she knows that's what he is doing then of course she needs to talk to him about it.

It’s perfectly natural to look at attractive people. It’s fantasy - can’t see a problem with it if he’s a good husband who makes you feel attractive yourself