Husband watches Fb reels with half naked women

[Bubusssss88]

Hi everyone. I just really needed someone else’s opinion on something that I feel sad/ embarrassed to talk about with family, friends 🥺

So my hubby is looking at fb reels randomly and shall I say underdressed women as they pop up.. he isn’t specifically searching for them
(I accidentally saw him from the back as I came back from upstairs) but will linger around when one of these half dressed girls pops up and look at them. What would you say, do, in a situation like this? I’m 3 months pregnant so I might be overreacting but I just feel awfully hurt by this .

feel dumb even asking strangers in the internet but right now I just needed someone to talk to . Xxx

I was with the hubby when he was going through reels & one similar came up, he went to flick it onwards and accidentally hit the heart/like when I said to him he went back and undid it.
However, almost every fell after that was the same 😣
Same on snap chat, we are flicking together, he's so clumsy with his fingers.
& tiktok, the amount of accounts be filled by mistake is unreal, then it throws more of the same up.

The discussion reminds me of this sketch!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUHFXnOn7mI&ab_channel=VivaLaDirtLeague

Why bother getting married/ have a supposedly monogamous relationship if a man is goung to window shop all the other available women?
If you want to get your sexual kicks from other women then it's dishonest to pretend you are in an exclusive relationship.

Window shop?! This is not window shopping, it’s completely different!!

and flicking through SM reels and maybe being interested in one that happens to have attractive women on it is absolutely not getting sexual kicks.

if he got his dick out and start wanking over them then that’s a debate for another day, but in this scenario the OP’s DH has really done not a lot wrong.

To reiterate, again, they are not half naked women, it is definitely not borderline porn; they are all , without exception, fully clothed or a very small minority of the time maybe in a swimsuit/bikini . Remember, FB is open to all ages so technically any material posted must be suitable for people of all ages; including minors.

Better gouge out his eyes in case he happens to inadvertently look at any woman other than his wife. In fact, go the whole hog and remove his brain in case he has any nefarious ideas about fantasising internally.

How do you know what OP's DH is looking at when you haven't ( presumably) seen? You are describing what you assume he is looking at.

I think you are being naive if you think men like OP's DH are looking at content and they just " happen" to have attractive women in it .

The point is that what he is doing is making OP feel unhappy and it's affecting her self esteem. Instead of turning this on herself and feeling inadequate she should be looking at her DH's behaviour. She is pregnant with his child. He should be making her feel the very special woman that she is. And not looking at other women at a time when his attention should be focusing on her.
And OP should feel comfortable enough in her relationship with him to talk to him about it. It is very sad if she doesn't even feel at ease enough in their relationship to talk to him about how he is affecting her with this behaviour.

I don't know explicitly what OP's DH is looking at but i can guarantee you, its not porn, its not THAT sexualised and would be suitable for a 13 year old child to see ( in 95% of cases, as some may slip through the net ) -

It's not naivety at all, but SM and the world knows that sex and attractive people sells. Why do you think the diet coke advert had a hunky muscular man in? Every time that advert appeared on TV, were wives and girlfriends forced to turn over the channel so they couldn't leer or lust over him?

I am into my fitness, and becuase of this Facebook and instagram show me a lot of fitness reels, whereby over half are with attractive women. FB and the creators know that a workout with an ugly size 20 woman is going to get far less engagement than one with an attractive size 8/10 wearing typical gym attire, and honestly, that's as 'pornographic' as it gets.

In regards to your point, i don't recall the OP mentioning it to her DH. if she hasn't how is he supposed to know? He will think its normal to be watch non pornographic reels unless she says something.

I watch half-naked men on TikTok sometimes, hasn't occurred to me that my husband would be bothered.

shame on you for cheating on your husband!! 😀

😈

There are probably 951 other things he'd divorce me for, before he got to "looks at men on the internet'. 😏

Incredibly disrespectful.

I've never had this type of thing in my FB reels!

Tiktok tried to get me watching weird topless fireman videos at one point (??!) You know what I did? Clicked not interested on every one until they got the hint and they stopped.

Plus you ate pregnant!!

Why is the bar so fucking low for men that watching semi naked women dancing is acceptable?

How on earth is it disrespectful. Honestly, I don't know how people get by in life being so uptight about everything.

OMG, you really aren't getting it are you.

They are not semi-naked!!

Also, SM does not just show random videos of attractive women, they show videos with attractive women in , based on other videos you have watched ( sports, fitness, travel etc ) or things you have searched for on google etc to get more engagement.

Yes, you can choose for SM to show you fewer ads like this, but this will stop the genre but not necessarily the attractive women.

I appreciate everyone has different boundaries, but it is really important to understand that these videos are not porn, they are not explicit, they are not even close to 'wanking ' material and are rated as 12+ or below. It is also worth remembering that those videos with attractive women ( or men ) in, are not there because you or your spouse have specifically searched for them, they are there for engagement as 'sex sells' and are centred around a genre which you have shown interest in either through Facebook, google or Instagram.

I refer back to my Diet Coke advert - EVERYONE above a certain age remembers this advert, even the theme tune. why? because sex sells and that's exactly what creators and marketers want the social media followers to do.

No, I am getting it.

They're young women and they aren't in cargo trousers and polo necks.

Are they reciting classic literature or explaining string theory?

Nope. They're doing things to sexually tantalise in tight/revealing clothing or bikinis.

He's getting off on it sexually.

It's not right.

Clearly you're NOT getting it then.

Who said they were young?
Who ( including OP ) said he was getting off it sexually?

Do you REALLY think they are topless/wearing G-strings? Because they absolutely are not.

And if a 30/40 something year old male was into literature, and had bought books online, and searched google for literature - Guess what , you would get attractive women reading literature....or something vaguely similar on your reels.

Yes, they are sexually tantalising, but that is all, to get engagement, as i thought i made clear in my previous post? Again, WHAT ABOUT THE DIET COKE ADVERT??

I can assure you, without an ounce of hesitation, men do not use social media to 'get off' - Without being crude, there are far more accessible ways online to do that that involve a lot less clothing.....

What is your obsession with the diet coke advert?
It aired years ago, you seem quite hung up on it. Maybe that's a good indication of how sexualising everything isn't great?

Are you OK?

WTF? I don't get off sexually from looking at scantily clad men on Instagram or Tiktok. Sure, they are nice to look at it but I can appreciate something/someone that is aesthetically pleasing without knocking one out.

I’m not obsessed with it but thanks for your concern, I am merely pointing out how sex sells:

a quick flick through my FB reels shows me reels of genres that I am interested in or have recently searched for online.

all attractive , all showcasing nice bodies - but absolutely not pornagraphic in any way shape or form.

When I said "she shouldn't need to have to ask him not to do this" I obviously meant he shouldn't have been doing it in the first place. If he respected and loved her he wouldn't have been looking at other women so the need shouldn't have arisen.
As she now knows that's what he is doing of course they need to talk about it!

How do you know his thought process?

'lusting after' is your interpretation and narrative, not necessarily fact

Fucking hell, talk about projecting

Whos mentioned women dancing ffs?

Are u OK?

I absolutely adore my other half. Been together over a decade and he's my happy ever after. I look at him and smile, and can't believe the life I have now, after a number of false starts and horrendous tales. I consider myself as having lucked out in life with him

Do I still look at pictures of David Beckham and linger of those that are slightly more sensual? You better believe I do. Do I look at some blokes thinking 'bloody hell, he's gorgeous'? Absolutely. Does this have any effect on my relationship? None whatsoever cos even if David Beckham chased me down the street, half naked, begging "take me I'm yours", I'd leave him stood there in his y fronts and snuggle with my ageing, slightly over weight but greying other half...

If that's OK in your relationship, crack on.

Personally I think that looking at pictures of David Beckham - if you can acrually stomach him - is a far cry from men perving over random nearly naked women.
But you and your DH might be happy with each other looking outside your marriage for sexual thrills then fine. OP isn't fine with her DH doing this. And neither would I be.

Perfectly said!!

Anyone would think its life imprisonment for even glancing at the opposite sex going on most of the posts on Mumsnet, its utterly ridiculous,