Husband watches Fb reels with half naked women

[Bubusssss88]

Hi everyone. I just really needed someone else’s opinion on something that I feel sad/ embarrassed to talk about with family, friends 🥺

So my hubby is looking at fb reels randomly and shall I say underdressed women as they pop up.. he isn’t specifically searching for them
(I accidentally saw him from the back as I came back from upstairs) but will linger around when one of these half dressed girls pops up and look at them. What would you say, do, in a situation like this? I’m 3 months pregnant so I might be overreacting but I just feel awfully hurt by this .

feel dumb even asking strangers in the internet but right now I just needed someone to talk to . Xxx

I can't do this.
I came on this thread support OP because I think her dh is behaving inappropriately.
If you want to support his behaviour and support men who are in supposedly in monogamous relationships but think it's ok to disrespect their partners by seeking sexual gratification outside the relationship then on you go.
I think it's unforgiveable that people like yourself think it's ok to undermine women who expect fidelity and monogamy in a relationship. But you do you and I'll do me.

The majority of men watch porn I'm afraid. There's a whole generation of young men whose sexual knowledge has been gained from porn and they will go into the world with misogynistic values and unrealistic expectations of "real" women. I've known so many married female friends who have proclaimed that their fine, upstanding husbands "wouldn't dream of watching such things". Guess what - they really do. It's readily available, ubiquitous and so, so easy to access on the phone in their pockets 24/7. Anything they want, any time of day or night.

Yes a lot of men watch porn, and many scientific studies point to how porn is damaging men, damaging their ability to have normal relationships and is damaging women.
Women have the ability to say this is not acceptable to them. They have the ability to say that porn is not acceptable in their relationship.
OP has started a thread saying how her DH's viewing of sexualised pictures of other women is directly affecting her and affecting her relationship with her DH. But instead of getting support to deal with her DH's behaviour which is affecting their relationship she is being undermined. She is being undermined by posters, some of whom are men, on a website where she should reasonably expect support.
Why can't a woman on a website which I thought was supposed to stand up for women's best interests, receive support when her DH is undermining and disrespecting her ?
Why do so many women accept porn as " normal" when everything indicates that it is not normal. Unless people REALLY thing that violence, abuse, exploitation and degradation and dehumanisation of woman is the norm for society.

I agree with everything you say. Unfortunately this is not the reality. I was blindsided when I found my DH of 26 years watching porn. He was, honest to god, the last person on earth you would expect. He liked talking about cricket, vegetable gardening and drinking real ale and our marriage was happy. If he was sucked into porn, then absolutely any man can be. So yes, degradation and dehumanisation of women has pretty much become the norm. What can be done about it I don't know.

Where does it say he's seeking sexual gratification??????

Please, honestly, point that out.

Women that aren't fully covered do not necessarily mean anything remotely sexual.

He's going to do it behind your back if you kick off so let him get on with it .

I'm sure you think you are very funny.

The ops partner is being monogamous. It's a few pics on Facebook driven by an algorithm. You can't stop it.
You seem quite intense about it.

Let him get on with it?
How is that going to make OP feel any better?
It's no less disrespectful even if she isn't actively seeing him doing it.
But I assume you are a man and don't give a damn about women anyway.

@baileys6904

"Women that aren't fully covered do not necessarily mean anything remotely sexual."

Um, I think you'll find that not fully covered, young fit women are sexually appealing to most hetero men - of any age. Sorry to burst any bubbles.

I'm intense about the fact an OP is upset by her DH behaving in a disrespectful undermining way, more hurtful to her because she is pregnant, but she is being told by some posters, some obviously men, that her feelings don't matter.
Of course her feelings matter. And of course her DH's behaviour is inappropriate for someone in a committed relationship.
I'm intense about it because I feel strongly people should not be told their very reasonable feelings are unreasonable.

The reels that they show are based on what you engage with and watch.

You can stop it. You are able to click on reels and say 'see less of this' or something like that.

She might not be able to stop him though, but that doesn't mean she's not allowed to be upset about it. I'm sure plenty of men would feel upset and a bit disgusted if they saw that their girlfriends/wives reels were all half naked men with gym bodies.

No one has said she's not allowed to be upset. However, the OP and other posters have to remember some other members might not feel the same way.
Clicking this and that won't stop the pics forever.

Nope, I'm being deadly serious.

Show me where even the op states he was looking for sexual gratification. This is your narrative that you're forcing

You understand the word ' necessarily' don't you.

Yes, i know this, and i have also pointed this out multiple times in previous posts.

The reels i engage in and watch are generally to do with fitness, and this time of year, shopping ie clothing.

Therefore, as a heterosexual 40 year old male, FB wants to show me feels of attractive women ( not half naked ) doing fitness exercises and attractive woman trying to sell a particular brand of clothing.

Am i not allowed to watch these reels because they have attractive women in yet are focusing on a genre that i am particularly interested in?

Yep, I understand it but after many long years on this planet I've found that the vast majority of men do find even the teeniest glimpses of bum and tit pretty exciting. The ones that don't necessarily are in such a small minority it's hardly worth mentioning.

@jinglemybells85 If your partner is fine with it then you can watch whatever you like. If your partner was feeling upset by it, would you be willing to listen to her point of view?

I watch tons of reels of half dressed men and women.

Im a waterpark enthusiast and it’s usually videos of them going down various slides

He is single. Guess that’s why he comes on Mumsnet, mansplaining to us women what we should expect and how we should be tolerant towards these piss poor men.

Ask him if you have a baby girl, how he'll feel if older men perv on her via social media the way he's perving on those scantily dressed women?

Ask him how he'd feel if his daughter was pregnant and married to a man who was doing what he's doing? Would he feel proud of his son in law? Or would he think by that his daughter had married a loser?

Get him to explain his actions and how they affect others.

This man is going to be a father soon and he's going to be demonstrating to his children how they should act; currently he's demonstrating that they should either be a pervert or be willing to be perved on. He doesn't sound like great dad material to me 🤷‍♀️

Facebook uses an AI-powered machine learning algorithm to suggest reels based on what it thinks is relevant to you. The algorithm considers several factors, including:

What content has been posted by friends and publishers
Who posted the story
How likely are you to engage with this post
How interested will people be in this post

The idea that people are always inviting the reels because in this case, the ops husband is typing I want semi-naked women is not wholly true. A bit of perspective is needed.

They are random. I watch a lot of get ready with me, shopping ones where that start off in bra and pants and then get dressed. Then it feeds me misogynistic wankers and Katie Hopkins which is skip through. I don't think you can choose your feed. Oh and I'm Glinda, I'm Elphaba 17 times in a row by various people miming.

Oh wow, I didn't know this. My mother is a massive Nigel Farage Reform fan, that will be where the Katie Hopkins shit comes from.