Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Sex for a year ehy won't he kiss me

115 replies

MUSHAIRES · 04/12/2024 11:09

I already know the answer but I have been having sex with a guy for a year. He will not kiss me or touch my body. Literally afterwards throws a towel on me n I leave. I am ok with FWB but I feel shity everytime . He usually only last maybe 5 minutes.

OP posts:
Original poster
MUSHAIRES · 09/12/2024 06:31

I honestly don't know why I have allowed this for a year. I have never been treated so awful during or after sex.. one time he hugged me good bye with a pat on the back. WTF I asked him once why do you keep me around? He said because you always talk to. Me pretty much he can treat me awful never acknowledge my feelings even when i tell him and my dumb ass is was still around.

OP posts:
Original poster
MUSHAIRES · 09/12/2024 06:38

Yes unfortunately. It is true. And yes I need to work on myself. My last relati onship was six years ago narcissist who emotional fucked my world . And every relationship before that was abusive men I know what I deserve and want . Just struggling

OP posts:
Original poster
MUSHAIRES · 09/12/2024 06:52

Absolutely right. I don't even understand why I allowed this . I know he doesn't care at all about me. I knew everytimr I went to see him how awful I felt leaving seriously throws a towel on me and I leave . Never once did I stay over. He always came up with some lie. The best one was at 330 in the morning he says I need to leave go pay.my rent haha wow

OP posts:
Octav · 09/12/2024 06:56

Make today the day you get tge real you back. Make up your mind no relationships for a year, get on track for your sake. Be the person you would want to be. Block him, listen to no excuses, he us warped and you are his victim.

grinandslothit · 09/12/2024 14:24

Well done on blocking this using loser.

Get yourself into some therapy since all your past relationships have been with abusive losers. There are so many of them out there but this will help you to learn boundaries.

I would just avoid men altogether as they really do not bring much to women's lives.

Babbahabba · 09/12/2024 21:14

This is revolting OP. You're nothing more to him than a blow up doll. Even if you're just after sex, how is this at all enjoyable?

Babbahabba · 09/12/2024 21:16

Please please keep him blocked and have some counselling or therapy to unpack why you allowed this. You deserve to be treated with respect like any human being does. Please learn your worth.

Flatbellyfella · 10/12/2024 14:06

Your washing machine would give you a better relationship than this piece of scum, hopefully you can come back in a few weeks & tell us you have blocked him & no longer have any contact with him. 🤞

Original poster
MUSHAIRES · 10/12/2024 17:13

Yes he is blocked on everything. And it feels good 🤪

OP posts:
Tillow4ever · 10/12/2024 17:36

MUSHAIRES · 10/12/2024 17:13

Yes he is blocked on everything. And it feels good 🤪

Well done! This is the update we have been hoping for! You hold your head up high and know it’s all up from here! You have got this.

idrinkandiknowthings · 11/12/2024 13:47

He's treating you like a blow-up doll. Please, please end it and find a guy who respects you xx

EDIT: Just seen that you've blocked him. Well done and stick to it!! x

AdoraBell · 11/12/2024 15:37

Look at doing the Freedom programme with Women’s Aid.

It is specifically designed to help women who keep going for abusive men because it’s familiar treatment.

Original poster
MUSHAIRES · 12/12/2024 05:47

I will look into it. I have always picked the abusive assholes. Bad love is good love it's sad

OP posts:
Original poster
MUSHAIRES · 23/12/2024 02:53

Yes he is all blocked thanks to all the encouragement and thr truth on how he was treating me. I deserve respect ..xoxo to all of the great advice

OP posts:
Rososos · 23/12/2024 02:56

Well done Op, hope you can seek some
therapy or read some good books on this kind of thing so you can reduce the risk of entering another abusive relationship.

Tillow4ever · 23/12/2024 07:09

Glad to hear you’re staying strong. Onwards and upwards - have a wonderful Christmas and New Year! Here’s to you growing in self esteem in 2025 when you don’t have some prick making you feel worthless anymore.

Original poster
MUSHAIRES · 26/12/2024 00:50

Yes I definitely will never allow myself to be so disrespected ever again. It was a form of emotional abuse which seemed crazy at the time. But now I have sat and actually thought about it and had time to realize what the fuck was i ever thinking letting this peice of shit treat me so awful. And to top it off he was on n off with his GF .. I told her she didn't believe me. Shity as I felt I sent her video and texts. She can stay and have him.

OP posts:
Original poster
MUSHAIRES · 26/12/2024 00:54

Thank you so much for the encouraging words it means so much. Merry Christmas to you as well. 🫠🫠

OP posts:
Original poster
MUSHAIRES · 26/12/2024 00:58

Yes I have ended it blocked him and have nothing to do with this piece of shit emotional abusive man

OP posts:
AdoraBell · 26/12/2024 17:18

Well done on blocking him OP 👍

Joelle84 · 26/12/2024 17:47

You might as well have been a fleshlight. Im sorry to read this but you sound like its moving in the right direction for you mentally. Good on you for blocking him. Stay away from men for a bit, get your head sorted, your worth so much more than being someones booty call wank vessel, and start 2025 with a different mindset. 😘

RedHelenB · 26/12/2024 18:41

MUSHAIRES · 26/12/2024 00:50

Yes I definitely will never allow myself to be so disrespected ever again. It was a form of emotional abuse which seemed crazy at the time. But now I have sat and actually thought about it and had time to realize what the fuck was i ever thinking letting this peice of shit treat me so awful. And to top it off he was on n off with his GF .. I told her she didn't believe me. Shity as I felt I sent her video and texts. She can stay and have him.

You're a piece of work too, no mention of a gf when you were snagging him

Tillow4ever · 26/12/2024 19:19

RedHelenB · 26/12/2024 18:41

You're a piece of work too, no mention of a gf when you were snagging him

Show quote history

There’s no suggestion here that he was with the GF when it was happening (she says it was on/off so likely he was calling OP when it was “off again”). No suggestion that she even knew he was with anyone if she literally only saw him when he needed someone to abuse. It’s likely this guy identified low self esteem and targeted op, and she didn’t stand a chance.

either way, he was the one with the GF - he was the one choosing to shag around.

Gem359 · 26/12/2024 19:32

Start liking/loving yourself OP and not needing these shitty men's validation. If you can live happily on your own then you will never feel you have to stay with someone who treats you badly because you'll always know you can be happy alone.
Did you have a shitty childhood OP? Low self esteem from a crap childhood is often why people allow themselves to be treated badly. You deserve so much better.

RedHelenB · 26/12/2024 22:00

Tillow4ever · 26/12/2024 19:19

There’s no suggestion here that he was with the GF when it was happening (she says it was on/off so likely he was calling OP when it was “off again”). No suggestion that she even knew he was with anyone if she literally only saw him when he needed someone to abuse. It’s likely this guy identified low self esteem and targeted op, and she didn’t stand a chance.

either way, he was the one with the GF - he was the one choosing to shag around.

Show quote history

She didn't have to tell the gf about them either.