2nd Baby will Social Services be involved?

[Rillee]

Hi, I’m not pregnant yet but I would like another baby. Social services was involved with my 1st as I was in an abusive relationship we broke up, he moved out and the case was closed. This was 3 years ago, he is a completely different person now and has grown up massively and we get along very well as friends and he is an amazing dad. We both don’t have partners at the moment and have discussed having another baby together and co parenting. If I were to do this would social services be involved again , even if he no longer lives with me?

Yes

Yep.

Yes.

probably.

Why don’t you ask social services what they think?

You’re thinking about having another baby with someone you’re not in a long term loving relationship with? Someone who meant that you have already had Social Services involved in your life?

Why would you do this? It seems like a bad idea.

Yes they will. They will see it as you can't protect your babies from emotional harm

He isn’t a completely different person. He’s the same person who may appear to you to have made some changes to some of his behaviours. Social Services will want to assess that for themselves.

If social services were involved at one point because of this man, do NOT have another baby with him.
We’ve all heard the “he’s changed” hundreds of times.

Oh God, reading between the lines you're letting him back into your first child's life, aren't you? This is so dangerous and silly. Kids are not an accessory to your dysfunctional life.

Oh for the love of..

Yes. Yes they will be. As they should.

This is an exceptionally terrible idea and I question your lack of self preservation. You want to have a second baby with a man you are not in a relationship with that ABUSED you. You want to bring another baby into that situation? Get a grip. Get out there. Go on some dates, and meet someone who didn’t (and won’t) try to destroy to have a child with.

This is actually unhinged behaviour.

Yes they would.

Honestly, why not just focus on your one child and your career? For a few years at least. Imagine what you could achieve!

Come on, OP.
Of course social services will be involved if you have another baby with an abusive man.

And he isn't an amazing dad. Amazing dads don't beat their girlfriends up, do they?

I hope so!

Abusers don't change their spots and pregnancy is very high risk for abuse..

Don't do it.

I think the OP is obfuscating, and is already pregnant.

Yep. You're back with the bloke so abusive that they were involved and only closed the case because he moved out and you 'split up'.

Means they'll also be thinking that you've lied to them throughout just to get them off your case. And the abuse will likely start again - with the extra problem of him knowing you've been with somebody else in the last three years, going by your saying you don't have a partner 'at the moment'.

I hope they do get involved.

As a midwife who works in safeguarding. Absolutely yes they will.

They will be concerned about your ability to choose healthy relationships by allowing an abuser back into your life, be concerned about how much access he is getting to your older child and how this is monitored / supervised. They will also be concerned about a very vulnerable newborn being added to this already unstable situation and how the stress of that and you potentially solo parenting will affect your family.

This really is a terrible idea!

Do you really need to ask?

Yes they will and quite rightly!

Does your child live with you?

Yea they will. Don't do it OP.