Friends only making contact when they want something

[Magicnestdream]

As per above really, in particular one good 'friend'. We go back to secondary school and have been close friends since. Now in our 40s friendship meet ups much less due to kids, work, and general life. When we have made plans, mainly Christmas or summer they (couple with 2 kids similar age) end up double booking or make additional plans which make then have to rush our plans so they're not late for the next thing, or change our plans we've made to accommodate a 'better offer' as I would call it...
Anyway not heard much from friends lately, odd message to which DD happy birthday kind of thing.
I am lucky enough to have family who works at a music venue and can get us, quite easily all sorts of tickets-music, sport and other. Not free but often it's just getting the availability. My friend in question has benefitted from this massively over the years, more recently she's been hard work as when I get tickets she's acted surprised how much they are (I just pass on list price and don't get involved with buying them) or then changes her mind how many tickets she wants and should she go afterall etc etc. For the record they're always good seats.
Anyway last sorted out some tickets back in September.
Thought it was odd at time as saw a message pop up with How's X and Y and then ..ohhhh can you help me get ....tickets! I did help with those. Nothing since until yesterday. Tells me late last night on way back from x venue, that reminds her can I get tickets for X next year because she can only find standing etc etc and they're too much...
At no point in any of the message is there a 'how are you' or how's the house move going (were trying to move) or hope you're well (got thru breast cancer a year or so ago) or did DD have a nice birthday (just last week)
So am I wrong to feel annoyed by the fact I'm only contacted when she wants something.
Do I, not respond , reply with 'unable to help' or 'unable to help and you're taking the ...".
I did wonder if she realised what's she doing (most probably) so how can I politely point it out in a matter of fact without too much conflict (which I don't do!)
Appreciate your thoughts. My natural way is to help people but actually realising it's a bit of a one way street and I need to be more assertive.
Plus too when she faffs about with changing her mind it takes up my time going back and forth changing details. And when popular tickets get realised I have spent considerable time on phone playing Ticketmaster!

Did they leave gifts at the in laws for you?

They got their in-laws to drop gifts round for us without us knowing beforehand. I came home after a day out earlier in week to see gift under the tree and my husband said the FIL had dropped them over . I then messaged friend to thank them and suggested us dropping gifts Xmas eve.

Call me cynical but I suspect she's only keeping up the gift giving to maintain the fiction of a friendship so she can continue to ask for favours. She can't be arsed to actually see you or actively be a friend to you. Tell her no more gifts and I bet you won't see or hear from her ...

Honeylulu I don't disagree with you. I felt this may be the case as when I last mentioned not being able to help with tickets I then got a "shall we go for a nice wintery walk..." Just to keep her foot in the door so to speak. Sad really but maybe friendship has run it's course and I've been used for stuff when she's needed it.

Your relationship is more transactional than what you'd like, and it's reasonable to be irked by this.

Find a way to stop the tickets altogether (tell her you can't get them anymore), and tone down your gifts if it's causing a bother. Either your friendship will survive or it will eventually fizzle out.

I'd now drop her a text, something along the lines of - 'hi x, hope you had a nice Christmas and thanks for the dc gifts. We're going to drop buying for friends dc next year (Christmas and birthdays), so don't feel you need to buy for us going forward either x'

Really really don't bother with this woman anymore. She's taking the piss. She's purely keeping you onside with breadcrumbs for tickets.

Any more requests from her should be met with, "I'm sorry I can't help you with that."

Any glimmer of friendliness or warmth and she will grab it and wangle tickets out of you.

I would send this.

This does seem like a relationship of convenience that she’s keeping going.

I remember reading a book about networking that said you should have friends that are useful so you can pull resources from them. Befriend a dentist, a doctor, etc. It made me feel a bit sick but apparently some people do operate their relationships like this.

Yes not nice but I def agree cut back on that friendship. I had a lovely cousin but realised she just wanted info off me. Then slow fade. It opened up my eyes to friendships in my 50s. When we stop being useful the texts go quiet. Sad but true