Friends only making contact when they want something

[Magicnestdream]

As per above really, in particular one good 'friend'. We go back to secondary school and have been close friends since. Now in our 40s friendship meet ups much less due to kids, work, and general life. When we have made plans, mainly Christmas or summer they (couple with 2 kids similar age) end up double booking or make additional plans which make then have to rush our plans so they're not late for the next thing, or change our plans we've made to accommodate a 'better offer' as I would call it...
Anyway not heard much from friends lately, odd message to which DD happy birthday kind of thing.
I am lucky enough to have family who works at a music venue and can get us, quite easily all sorts of tickets-music, sport and other. Not free but often it's just getting the availability. My friend in question has benefitted from this massively over the years, more recently she's been hard work as when I get tickets she's acted surprised how much they are (I just pass on list price and don't get involved with buying them) or then changes her mind how many tickets she wants and should she go afterall etc etc. For the record they're always good seats.
Anyway last sorted out some tickets back in September.
Thought it was odd at time as saw a message pop up with How's X and Y and then ..ohhhh can you help me get ....tickets! I did help with those. Nothing since until yesterday. Tells me late last night on way back from x venue, that reminds her can I get tickets for X next year because she can only find standing etc etc and they're too much...
At no point in any of the message is there a 'how are you' or how's the house move going (were trying to move) or hope you're well (got thru breast cancer a year or so ago) or did DD have a nice birthday (just last week)
So am I wrong to feel annoyed by the fact I'm only contacted when she wants something.
Do I, not respond , reply with 'unable to help' or 'unable to help and you're taking the ...".
I did wonder if she realised what's she doing (most probably) so how can I politely point it out in a matter of fact without too much conflict (which I don't do!)
Appreciate your thoughts. My natural way is to help people but actually realising it's a bit of a one way street and I need to be more assertive.
Plus too when she faffs about with changing her mind it takes up my time going back and forth changing details. And when popular tickets get realised I have spent considerable time on phone playing Ticketmaster!

Some brilliant replies thankyou all. Really given me a laugh as well.

It was a WhatsApp message which I saw on preview pop up on screen when it came in but as I knew what it was I didn't open it and left it .
@TheTruthICantSay I did think about this but how it works is once I get availability I then pass card details to my family to process at work. I don't give out my family members details directly or she'd be inundated so by nature of that I then coordinate everything...queries on seat numbers, price, view etc etc so it just takes time. And then she'll loose her ticket email and I need to check it's gone thru etc etc. and part of me feels she gets away with it again even if I am direct she still gets tickets for little input or engagement with me!

She definitely is a user. I’d just say the family member only has limited amounts of bookings they can make for personal use now and they’re taken up by family.

I like this. Reply and don’t mention the tickets

Just seen your update OP. I have absolutely no time for people who over-commit themselves in search of the best offer, and shove you to the bottom of the list, messing you about with constant timing changes. Now, if the arrangement changes more than once I say "Let's leave it for now shall we, until you've got a bit less on."

Some great reply suggestions, but please don't lie and say that the relative can't get them any more. You don't need an excuse just "no I can't get you any tickets" followed by whichever of the many blunt responses you prefer 😜

At no point in any of the message is there a 'how are you' or how's the house move going (were trying to move) or hope you're well (got thru breast cancer a year or so ago) or did DD have a nice birthday (just last week)

^ that's just basic politeness. She's no friend.

I’d be very direct. ‘You can’t keep asking me for tickets. It’s got embarrassing and is a huge imposition.’

This is perfect. If she dares to push it again, you can say that it’s a shame that’s all she seems to want you for nowadays

Don't apologise, don't explain, don't lie - just say no, can't do it.

@Magicnestdream
if your’friend’ doesn’t know you’re getting divorced, she’s no friend.
Cut her loose, don’t look back

"Sorry, they've really cracked down :( "

You've had lots of good advice here that amounts to, "your tickets request, can't get them for you any more."

I wonder about all the people that tell you to lie and make up scenarios where you can't get the tickets!

Keep it short and sweet....
.... " Re tickets - no can do... have a lovely Christmas!"

No explanation and makes clear you don't expect to see them this festive season... and no apology!

Say sorry his ticket allowances have reduced so he is only doing it for direct family and friends, sorry!

Best not to lie he has changed jobs, if she is devious enough, she can find that out.

Hate people like that!

'I am not getting tickets for people any more. It got to be too much work and aggravation, how are you all doing?'.

I like a PPs suggestion that "tickets are now for close friends and family only".

She's not family so saying no lets her know she's no longer considered "close friend" category either!

Don't apologise.

This!

@Magicnestdream I don’t agree with saying they can’t get tickets anymore etc. They absolutely can. But she doesn’t deserve them.

I’d 100% go with @Zimunya ’s suggestion of

"It's so nice to hear from you! It's been a busy and stressful time. As you know, we are trying to move house, and I'm gradually recovering after the breast cancer battle. On the bright side, we had a lovely birthday celebration with DD." I would not mention the tickets AT ALL!

haha I like this if you want to address it directly - subtle but gets the message across, unless she's completely thick skinned!

however for comedy I'd be tempted to do @Zimunya 's suggestion but keep ignoring any mention of the tickets, and only respond to whatever else she says, every time, just because I think it would be funny to see how long she tries and imagine her getting slowly more wound up 😂

e.g. if she comes back to that with "Aw so glad DD had a nice birthday. House move is so stressful isn't it! Shall I send you my card details for the tickets?"
"Yeah, mum bought her [band] tickets so she was well chuffed! Did your dd enjoy when she saw them? We've got a buyer coming for a second visit today so fingers crossed."
"Yes she had a great time, dd will love them. Good luck with the buyer. So how about the tickets?"
"Ah cool, I'm sure she will. Was there a big queue for merch?"
[or whatever]
see how long you can drag it on for until she gets the message!

Except that OP can get tickets but is fed up with doing it. So it would be a lie.

@HoppityBun Yes exactly i can still get them and I genuinely didn't mind/ don't mind when people that ask....and then I give them the price andd they say thanks very much and pass on card info. Job done.
But with said friend, every time she seems to act surprised at how much/thought they'd be cheaper / changes how many she wants because her DH says it's too much / or thinks seats will be too far back/ too high etc.
So makes me wonder why bother!

You’ve had so many good suggestions here I’m looking forward to finding out what you decide to do. I really like the ideas along the lines of just not mentioning the tickets but saying hi! Good to hear from you after so long, friend, and hope you have a good Christmas!

Ignore her request for tickets but do respond. Write as if she'd never asked for tickets but had sent you a newsy message and had asked you how everyone was.

Dear cheeky mare, Lovely to hear from you. We're all well thanks , Tommy is about to graduate from Cambridge with a first in eating porridge and Molly is engaged to a generous billionaire. Blah blah .... We're busy planning the 10 day global wedding celebrations but look forward to catching up with you for a coffee soon. Take care......

I would t say the relative isn't there any more. I'd say no, I won't be getting you any more tickets. It's clear you're using me for these bargains as you only contact me when you want them.

I would just say "oh I'm really sorry I no longer have access to the ticket site" and leave it at that.