Husband wants sex once a month or less.

[beazwx]

Hi everyone!
I will try to make the story short.

We have been married for almost 4 years. The first year of our marriage we spent 6 months without having sex, he said it was due work and that he was tired. Even on the weekends he would "be tired". Months later I found out he was watching porn and have been visiting strip clubs... one day he came home from a trip with friends with a love bite on his neck that he got from a stripper during a VIP lap dance. After that |left for almost a year, but we got back together. Our sex life was always a nightmare.
He would not even get hard sometimes. It feels like he doesn't have any need for sex.
The thing is I am tired of this sexless relationship. What makes it hard breaking up is that I love him more than anything, I have planned my whole life next to him and it is just so hard to let it go.
I have been wondering if he is still watching porn and got to hide it better from me...
I recently went through his old computer and I found out at least 2 different çamsex website he used to use in the past (the browser settings showed it was opened 4 to 5 years ago).

What do you guys think might be going on?

I talk to him and he says the lack of sex is bc he is tired, or bc his sex drive is lower than mine... but it's been difficult to buy it.

I am afraid I am being too naive. Bc even tough I am not happy, I still find myself too attached to him. We are like best friends. But I often feel we are like roommates too.

Any kind words would be appreciated.
Ps: I am 28yo and he is 36.

Sorry OP, you sound incredibly naive, this man is not having sex with you because he’s getting his needs met elsewhere (porn, webcam girls, OF etc… as his past history proves), after you discovered it he just got much better at hiding it hence the reason you’re not seeing any evidence.

Please OP stop wasting your time with this lying cretin and get yourself a good man who will choose YOU instead of a 20 year old with breast implants on a screen.

You deserve so much better.

Re most/all men watch porn; Man here who doesn’t watch porn (alone), not through thinking it’s bad or anything like that, I would just feel like it’s micro cheating, but that’s just how I feel, don’t project that view onto anyone else. My wife and I watched some together and it made me feel awkward tbh, I’m not at all vanilla, quite the opposite so was surprised by how I felt, almost disappointed I wasn’t well into it 😜. When being open with my mates talking crap (in our 40s), I’d argue most men in loving relationships rarely watch porn, or at least as their main sexual release. Often likeminded people get together, so perhaps my sample friend group isn’t the average. 🤔

Seems to me that, like so many other people in screwed up relationships, you're focused on trying to figure out the root cause because somewhere inside you have hope you can fix him. I'm going to bet money you can't fix him and never will, even if you understand what's holding him back. You've been together 4 years and you can't even discuss this glaring hole in your relationship openly and honestly. It doesn't matter if he's gay, or if he has a porn addiction, or if he genuinely needs days to disconnect, or if he has low testosterone. He doesn't want to discuss it so he doesn't want to fix it and he won't.

Stop flogging a dead horse and focus on ending this relationship so you can find one that gives you what you need before life passes you by. You won't get these wasted years back. Don't waste any more.

Also watching a few porn films with or without a partner is not the same thing as cam girls or onlyfans. Those are two completly different types of porn.

You have to ask??? Ffs! Raise your bar and stop being so naive!

OP you’re repeating yourself over and again about the porn.

You have far bigger issues than him watching porn.

You don’t get love bites from watching porn.

Decide what sleazy boundaries you are going to overlook, and if it’s all of them then just stay with him.

Everyone reading your posts knows he’s still doing all the cams and OF and strip clubs, and likely prostitutes, and/or cheating. But if you want to believe he isn’t that’s up to you.

He doesn't have a low sex drive though does he ? If he's getting off with strippers ? That's also bs btw, a stripper would not generally give a love bite.

Bottom line is he's a cheat and regardless of that he's not meeting your needs. Sorry but I'd Throw him back in the sea and find someone you deserve.

And that's it in a nutshell!!.
5 pages saying the same thing.