I am really struggling with how much I've messed up as a mother. My fourteen year old is an only child and I am a single parent. I work two jobs and am struggling with anxiety and probably depression too, which I try to get on with as well as I can and be positive, keep a nice house and do fun things.
But I find it so hard when my daughter tells me every week how much I've failed. That we are not a real family just the two of us and how lonely she is. That she wishes she was born in to a different family. And I understand her.
I left her abusive father because I wanted to protect her and give her a safe loving home but of course it's hard and I have to work a lot in order to give her what her friends have - activities, a decent place to live, clothes etc. I never wanted her to feel she missed out.
I always hoped to meet someone new and have more children but it never happened. I've tried to make peace with that even though it is a big sorrow for me. I hide how upset it makes me when she brings this up again and again, asking why I did this to her and why she doesn't get to have siblings and a whole family like every one else.
My biggest dream in life was to be a good mother and I've failed at that. I always thought we'd be ok just the two us. When she was younger I felt like we had quite a good little life had fun together and now she just seems to hate me and tells me she hates her life. I know that she is a child/teenager and her feelings are totally valid, I try to listen without judgement and console her, I want her to be able to talk to me about her feelings. But when you are already feeling so down, it's just hard having everything that you are trying to stay positive about thrown back at you, all your worst thoughts about yourself confirmed.
How do other struggling/depressed parents cope with having teenagers who say hurtful things? Will my daughter ever get over being an only child to a single parent and be ok in the future? Please be kind, I'm really struggling. I love my daughter very much, I have only ever wanted the best for her.