Husband still out no contact still we have 8 week old and 2 year old

[chocolateanddietcoke]

Can I be annoyed?

I knew he was going out but no contact since 10. Up every 1.5/2 hours with baby still and fed up as obviously won't have any help tomorrow morning either now

Nothing especially useful to say OP but my god what an arsehole. It would be pretty shitty if you didn't have a newborn but the fact you do makes this really shitty.

Does he have form for this?

Of course you can be annoyed!!

One off tonight, could be ok. Done frequently, no chance.

I'd be very inclined to phone his parents and ask them to have a word.

I'd certainly reach out to your own family for support.

He's a first class arsehole.

I’d be pretty upset at this. How come a man gets to this? Have you contacted him?

You have a tiny newborn. I think you are undereacting. This is extremely irresponsible of him.

I would lock him out and tomorrow have a conversation about the future. Anyone that can do this when the baby is so young, and you need the most support is not a keeper.

I'd be fuming in your position. Hope you're ok.

Phone his parents?? What a ridiculous suggestion.

What are they going to do? Take his phone away and give him a list of chores to do? lol

What was agreed before he went out? What time did he say he would be home?

I 100% understand why you are annoyed, but as a one off I would let it go.

Maybe they could put him on the naughty step?

Are you sure he's OK? Hope nothing awful happened. That's where my mind would go if this was a first. Sorry, not trying to be negative.

I was thinking more along the lines of a well aimed boot to the backside.

Agree that phoning his parents is ridiculous! I'd be furious if I were him and my partner did that. Also, what could they do?

With regard to him being out, when did he say he'd be back? Did he agree to phone you? I think whether you 'can' be annoyed depends on these answers.

Sorry, but for us non-UKer's how long has he been missing?

As I said, I was thinking of a boot to the backside.

Someone needs to shame this excuse for a man. The OP wonders if she has a right to be annoyed, so I suspect he would very easily get the better of her if she tried to state her case.

It's important for her to let others know that he's selfish and immature and that he's let her down. This behaviour shouldn't be hidden or dealt with alone.

I'd be livid!

It’s 4.50 am here so if he isn’t back in the next 5 hours, it’s going to hit the 24 hour mark.

Bucking the trend here but if it’s a one off, I’d be ok with that

Well that is quite a while. I'd be worried.

Hasn’t he just gone out this evening and OP has not heard since 10PM?

I never understand this type of post. You cannot lock someone out of their own home (unless DP is a lodger - and maybe not even then)

She didn’t say 10am. She just said 10. OP posted at at 2am so I would say is much more probable that it was only 4 hours of no contact, not 20 hours… especially as she was talking about no help in the morning, suggesting he’s been out for the night and will probably be hungover in the morning.

Yes that was my understanding. Four hours of no contact only… to be fair it is tough having a newborn and a 2 year old on your own, I found it overwhelming the first few times! But it is just 4 hours…

It's not, it's only been 4 hours! Where has
he gone OP?

When OP first posted I mean.

Invite your mother, or his mother or father, over.
Settle them into DH bed or have them arrive for breakfast to give you moral support and assistance with the children.

Do this every time the father of your children goes out and is not back hours after you expect.

If he still doesn't realise his importance in your family and after genuine discussion about fairness, then, whenever he is going out, ask him to go pick up his mother before he leaves.

If no sincere change is made consider all your options.