Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Does your partner always lock the bathroom door?

89 replies

AConcernedCitizen · 07/11/2024 18:33

My partner locks the bathroom door. Always.

Now, I completely understand this if other people are in the house, but even when it's just the two of us he has the lock on, whether showering, bathing or using the toilet.

I find this a bit weird, but fine, whatever. He tells me he doesn't know why he does it, but always has. Says he even does it when he's in on his own.

I know this is true because three times in the last few years he's ended up locked in various toilets 😅 Once in our house, when handle broke and I came home to him trying to remove it from the inside using nail files, scissors and a toothbrush, once after staying at a mates house (thankfully had his phone on him this time as his mate had left for work and hadn't told him the lock was broken) and once, most embarrassingly, at a hotel on a work trip.

Does anyone else's partner do this? And if so why?

To get a few obvious things out of the way...

  • He's not texting another woman in there - there's no wifi or mobile signal in our downstairs loo so he rarely, if ever, takes his phone with him.
  • He's not watching porn/wanking - He's quite welcome to do that in much more comfortable places than the bathroom and as above, no internet.

He unfortunately suffers from Crohn's, which means he can be in the bathroom a lot and it isn't exactly a pleasant experience. He says he doesn't think the two things are related, but I guess if that's a habit he's gotten into over the years, that could be it?

This is super light-hearted obviously, but I'm curious if anyone has experienced similar!

OP posts:
AConcernedCitizen · 07/11/2024 21:22

Hardtobepositivesometimes · 07/11/2024 20:14

It's just comes over as so strange that not only are you happy for your H to get off on the abuse and exploitation of women- and in fact you actually join him in doing this - but you have an issue with him locking the bathroom door?
Locking the bathroom door is normal behaviour.

Reading really isn't your strong point is it? Please point out where I've said I have an issue with him locking the door?

And don't be such a sad old prude, it's 2024, live a little.

OP posts:
Hardtobepositivesometimes · 07/11/2024 21:50

AConcernedCitizen · 07/11/2024 21:22

Reading really isn't your strong point is it? Please point out where I've said I have an issue with him locking the door?

And don't be such a sad old prude, it's 2024, live a little.

You started a thread about it OP so it must be an issue.
And disliking an industry that feeds of the abuse and exploitation of women, promotes violence against them, and destroys relationships isn't being a prude.

BoundaryGirl3939 · 07/11/2024 21:51

Give him privacy.

mitogoshigg · 07/11/2024 21:53

I don't, just pull it to rather than shut it too, but I haven't had locks before buying this house (quite new so locks fitted by builders)

Otto223 · 07/11/2024 23:36

the bathroom door hasn’t been used since we moved in together 8 years ago 😂 if we removed the door it wouldn’t change a thing for us 😂

JaninaDuszejko · 08/11/2024 06:03

Wow, I'm amazed how many people don't lock the bathroom door even when there are other people in the house. Although it may explain why at work (unisex loos) so many men forget to lock the door and get walked in on.

K0OLA1D · 08/11/2024 06:52

JaninaDuszejko · 08/11/2024 06:03

Wow, I'm amazed how many people don't lock the bathroom door even when there are other people in the house. Although it may explain why at work (unisex loos) so many men forget to lock the door and get walked in on.

My dp has had to help me on and off the toilet, bring me spare clothes after an accident, get me out of the bath, wash me and I am sure I have more examples. So no, we don't lock the door.

Cuppaor2 · 08/11/2024 06:55

only if theres other people in the house. Or I went through a phase of bursting in and scaring him so he would lock it if he heard me lurking about 😂

Slavica · 08/11/2024 07:05

When my DD was a toddler, we took all the keys out of our room locks as she was fond of turning them. So for the longest time, there were no keys in our toilet or bathroom doors.
Now we leave toilet doors open if nobody is there and it's only closed if it's in use. We don't barge in.

Bittenonce · 08/11/2024 07:13

I'd be more worried about how often he manages to lock himself in!
But poo time should always be locked door I think

GnomeDePlume · 08/11/2024 07:15

We are both door lockers. Bathroom is private space, never shared. In fact we wont share the space if we are both performing household tasks like restocking toilet roll or returning towels. It just feels wrong for us both to be in the bathroom at the same time.

Cynic17 · 08/11/2024 07:16

No. But we have never had a lock on our bathroom door. There is no need, when only 2 of us live here.

QueSyrahSyrah · 08/11/2024 07:18

Yep I always lock the door, even when I'm home alone. Lifelong habit that I'm trying to break now we have a baby, because I don't want to find myself locked in and nobody else at home!

Netcam · 08/11/2024 08:00

PurebredRacingUnicorn · 07/11/2024 18:57

Gross!

My ex DH used to come in and poo while I was in the bath, even though he knew I hated it and we had a downstairs toilet that he could have used. We didn't have a lock on the bathroom door. One of the many reasons he is an ex.

My now DH wouldn't dream of doing anything like that. I lock the door for a poo and so does he. I decided this time around that I would be clear that I wanted privacy when pooing in our relationship. Thankfully, DH felt the same.

betterangels · 08/11/2024 08:11

BitOutOfPractice · 07/11/2024 18:40

Bloody hell the poor guy has crohns and you’re wondering why he wants to have a bit of peace on the loo and not want anyone to walk in. You say it’s lighthearted but it obviously puzzles you. I have no idea why you’d be puzzled. Why do you think bathroom doors have locks? Because people want some privacy.

Edited

Agree with this. Leave him in peace.

hamsandyams · 08/11/2024 08:12

We don’t even close the door… I genuinely have no idea if our bathroom locks even work

LuluBlakey1 · 08/11/2024 08:14

ohyesido · 07/11/2024 18:35

He's very unfortunate for that to happen three times.

I lock the door when I'm using the toilet, and when I'm having an "everything" shower because I don't want anyone nipping in for a wee while I'm doing my ablutions.

What is an 'everything' shower?

Rainbow321 · 08/11/2024 08:19

If it's just a wee , and only us at home , don't bother even fully closing the door . If pooing dh closes the door ( not locked ) and I just push the door so it touches the door frame , not fully closed ( this is because of the cat ! )

tiger2691 · 08/11/2024 08:26

Our bathroom doesn't even have a lock.

JaninaDuszejko · 08/11/2024 08:27

K0OLA1D · 08/11/2024 06:52

My dp has had to help me on and off the toilet, bring me spare clothes after an accident, get me out of the bath, wash me and I am sure I have more examples. So no, we don't lock the door.

Well that's completely understandable. But for anyone able bodied over about 4 or 5 why wouldn't you lock the door?

Tomorrowisyesterday · 08/11/2024 08:33

I hate sitting downstairs and being able to hear the full stream of someone's urine from the open door of the bathroom upstairs. I think it's very rude. Why wouldn't you minimise noise (this is more shutting than locking, but I'm reading about a lot of non-shutters on the thread too!)
If you are alone crack on and do what you like, but if you're sharing the space you should think about ways to make it pleasant for each other.

K0OLA1D · 08/11/2024 09:07

JaninaDuszejko · 08/11/2024 08:27

Well that's completely understandable. But for anyone able bodied over about 4 or 5 why wouldn't you lock the door?

Because they don't want to?

borntobequiet · 08/11/2024 09:09

BitOutOfPractice · 07/11/2024 18:40

Bloody hell the poor guy has crohns and you’re wondering why he wants to have a bit of peace on the loo and not want anyone to walk in. You say it’s lighthearted but it obviously puzzles you. I have no idea why you’d be puzzled. Why do you think bathroom doors have locks? Because people want some privacy.

Edited

This.

Negangirlxx · 08/11/2024 10:51

We lock the door for poos, but that’s it. However, if we have guests, then we do lock the door when we have a wee.

Other than that, there’s only the two of us, and a newborn in the house, so we’re not too fussed. When it comes to each other, we’ve seen it all before.

suburburban · 08/11/2024 10:55

It's perfectly normal. I do as well. I don't want anyone coming in when I'm in the loo.

I'm not so bothered if I'm showering. It's only me and dh who use bathroom upstairs