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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Does your partner always lock the bathroom door?

89 replies

AConcernedCitizen · 07/11/2024 18:33

My partner locks the bathroom door. Always.

Now, I completely understand this if other people are in the house, but even when it's just the two of us he has the lock on, whether showering, bathing or using the toilet.

I find this a bit weird, but fine, whatever. He tells me he doesn't know why he does it, but always has. Says he even does it when he's in on his own.

I know this is true because three times in the last few years he's ended up locked in various toilets 😅 Once in our house, when handle broke and I came home to him trying to remove it from the inside using nail files, scissors and a toothbrush, once after staying at a mates house (thankfully had his phone on him this time as his mate had left for work and hadn't told him the lock was broken) and once, most embarrassingly, at a hotel on a work trip.

Does anyone else's partner do this? And if so why?

To get a few obvious things out of the way...

  • He's not texting another woman in there - there's no wifi or mobile signal in our downstairs loo so he rarely, if ever, takes his phone with him.
  • He's not watching porn/wanking - He's quite welcome to do that in much more comfortable places than the bathroom and as above, no internet.

He unfortunately suffers from Crohn's, which means he can be in the bathroom a lot and it isn't exactly a pleasant experience. He says he doesn't think the two things are related, but I guess if that's a habit he's gotten into over the years, that could be it?

This is super light-hearted obviously, but I'm curious if anyone has experienced similar!

OP posts:
Letitgoe · 07/11/2024 19:06

I would have to close the door to be able to use the lock 😂😂

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 07/11/2024 19:07

I would but we don’t have a lock on the door

Canyoufittheballsin · 07/11/2024 19:07

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Moveoverdarlin · 07/11/2024 19:08

I don’t ever lock or even shut the door, neither does my DH. Neither do my young children.

PhilosophicalCheeseSandwich · 07/11/2024 19:15

Moveoverdarlin · 07/11/2024 19:08

I don’t ever lock or even shut the door, neither does my DH. Neither do my young children.

Not even when you're having a poo? Don't you want to contain the smell, even if you're not bothered about others seeing you wipe your arse?

AConcernedCitizen · 07/11/2024 19:20

BitOutOfPractice · 07/11/2024 18:40

Bloody hell the poor guy has crohns and you’re wondering why he wants to have a bit of peace on the loo and not want anyone to walk in. You say it’s lighthearted but it obviously puzzles you. I have no idea why you’d be puzzled. Why do you think bathroom doors have locks? Because people want some privacy.

Edited

Not puzzled, just curious! To be fair he's as curious about why he does it as me, and given his almost superhuman ability to get locked in bathrooms, it's now very much a running joke between us 😂

OP posts:
AyrshireTryer · 07/11/2024 19:21

I don't really want to see my nearest and dearest having a poo.
We don't lock the door, but if it is closed, don't come knocking.

K0OLA1D · 07/11/2024 19:23

Nope. None of us. It's like crewe station when I'm having a shower.

Ds2 was sat reading his school book on the loo with his dad in the bath when I went to brush my teeth last night 😂

But if that's his way then that's his way. Nothing wrong with either.

AConcernedCitizen · 07/11/2024 19:24

Futurethinking2026 · 07/11/2024 18:46

Another crohnie here, always lock the door if there is any sign of it being poo visit. Happy for DH to wander in whilst in the shower for example but absolute no to anyone walking in on those toilet trips. Can’t really understand why you are evening thinking about this.

I am absolutely not thinking about or wanting to join him in the bathroom when he's going about his business! 😅

It's become a joke between us as neither of us know anyone else that does it so habitually and we're convinced we can't be the only ones with an obsessive locker :-p

OP posts:
AConcernedCitizen · 07/11/2024 19:27

Hardtobepositivesometimes · 07/11/2024 18:36

I don't understand what the problem is with him locking the bathroom door.
I also don't understand why you are happy he watches porn.

Well I didn't say it was a problem, so not sure where you've got that from!

And why would I be unhappy about it? Sometimes I watch it, sometimes we watch together - not really the point of the thread though! 🤷🏻‍♂️

OP posts:
Thatcastlethere · 07/11/2024 19:30

Mine doesn't tend to but only because we have 3 young kids and only one bathroom.
I don't either. Sometimes we both do if we are doing a no2!! But fir a bath or something no.. one of the kids might need the loo and it's just a giant faff getting out of the bath to unlock the door.

I'd never think to question why anyone locked the bathroom door tho? Surely it's a normal thing to do even if there's no one there? Is just a reflex and I guess it makes you more tense if the door us wide open.. and people don't want to be tense whilst using the loo!

Hardtobepositivesometimes · 07/11/2024 19:34

AConcernedCitizen · 07/11/2024 19:27

Well I didn't say it was a problem, so not sure where you've got that from!

And why would I be unhappy about it? Sometimes I watch it, sometimes we watch together - not really the point of the thread though! 🤷🏻‍♂️

It was you that brought up the subject of porn OP.
You made a point of mentioning it .

If locking the bathroom door isn't a problem and you are happy whatever your H gets up to what is the point of the thread?

Edingril · 07/11/2024 19:39

No but I would think it normal if he does, none of us do but I have no issues if anyone does

61here · 07/11/2024 19:54

No lock on bathroom door....when we had kids at home it was like Piccadilly circus in there if I was in the bath! Now it's just us two we wander in and out during baths and showers but not using the toilet. But each to his own....

AConcernedCitizen · 07/11/2024 19:58

Hardtobepositivesometimes · 07/11/2024 19:34

It was you that brought up the subject of porn OP.
You made a point of mentioning it .

If locking the bathroom door isn't a problem and you are happy whatever your H gets up to what is the point of the thread?

It was brought up as part of a list of things he wasn't doing, so as to avoid further unnecessary discussion on the subject.

But here you are 🤷🏻‍♂️

OP posts:
Moonlightstars · 07/11/2024 20:02

CadoAvo · 07/11/2024 18:54

Mine shits with the door wide open 🤣

Oh god that would be the end for me.

onwardsup4 · 07/11/2024 20:08

Hardtobepositivesometimes · 07/11/2024 18:36

I don't understand what the problem is with him locking the bathroom door.
I also don't understand why you are happy he watches porn.

This struck me as well, he's welcome to patch porn where ever he likes in the house but you're bothered about him locking the toilet door?

AConcernedCitizen · 07/11/2024 20:10

onwardsup4 · 07/11/2024 20:08

This struck me as well, he's welcome to patch porn where ever he likes in the house but you're bothered about him locking the toilet door?

Please read the thread, absolutely not bothered by him locking the door!

OP posts:
Iwashopingnottobreakmyduck · 07/11/2024 20:11

Tomorrowisyesterday · 07/11/2024 18:34

I always lock the door. It's a reflex. Leave him in peace!

Me too he had never ever seen me wee or poo etc some things are private and I never want to see him do them either

drippingtapp · 07/11/2024 20:13

This is super light-hearted obviously, but I'm curious if anyone has experienced similar!

What, like people locking the bathroom door when they are in it? Yes of course. It's so very normal.

rainspotsbrightlight · 07/11/2024 20:13

Oh Lordy, I ALWAYS lock the door, can't think why I wouldn't. It would be quite awful (for me) if anyone tried to come in. I'm very private about it. Your poor chap, leave him be!

Hardtobepositivesometimes · 07/11/2024 20:14

AConcernedCitizen · 07/11/2024 19:58

It was brought up as part of a list of things he wasn't doing, so as to avoid further unnecessary discussion on the subject.

But here you are 🤷🏻‍♂️

It's just comes over as so strange that not only are you happy for your H to get off on the abuse and exploitation of women- and in fact you actually join him in doing this - but you have an issue with him locking the bathroom door?
Locking the bathroom door is normal behaviour.

OldJohn · 07/11/2024 20:23

I used to shut the door and my wife used to shut the door, shut not lock.
Her mobility has declined so we started leaving the door open so she could easily get in with her Zimmer frame. For a couple of weeks, I still shut the door while sitting on the toilet but now I don’t bother. Does it matter if she sees me doing a perfectly normal thing, does it matter if I see her doing the same I also know that I will probably need to clean her after she finishes.

OneRealOchreHiker · 07/11/2024 20:34

My DP always locks the door, even if alone. I only shut it though. He finds it quite awkward if we’re caravanning on a site with no facilities though, I have to go and walk the dog and mooch outside 😂

dorabora · 07/11/2024 21:09

CadoAvo · 07/11/2024 18:54

Mine shits with the door wide open 🤣

Same 😆