Do you read your DH's post, emails, phone messages?

[Moosma]

I do and always have done and he reads mine too, we think nothing of it and would both become suspcious if the other person requested the other not too (does that make any sense?).

So, do you? And if not, why?

No. God that'd be boring for both of us.

Dp once had a very good female friend at work who moved away and they emailed each other all the time while he was at work - i only knew because he told me. After reading so many cheating cad threads I wondered if I should be less totally trusting and I opened his email. I won't do it again though. It was incredibly dull and mostly concerned sour dough starters and the best place to get fresh yeast and solving the problem of an overly hard crust. And I felt very guilty too. So no.

we are the same as you Moosma

No. I respect that he has a right to privacy as much as he respects I have a right to mine.

I have no reason right now not to trust him, and vice versa, so to see him picking up my pone and logging into my emails, even opening my post - would really distress me. For the simple fact that it would then be obvious that he is doubting me and our relationship enough to have to check these things.

I did (he had just moved out), but only stuff that was of interest to me (after he had opened it and I asked if I could have a look) or which I dealt with (ie his tax return, bills that were household but addressed to him etc - I would just open those).
E-mails all come onto main computer, and I have a look.
Phone messages - only house ones, not mobile - which was just work anyway.

No, I wouldn't.
It is good to have some privacy I think

phone

I find it a bit wierd to open his letters and e-mails to be honest.
You are individuals after all

Of course not. Why on earth would I want to read someone else's emails etc - or rather I'm a nosy bint, I love reading other people's mail, but what the hell gives me the right to do so just because he fathered my children?

He does not write emails so no problem there!

I don't really read his texts etc maybe once in a blue moon & he asks me to open his post as it's just boring stuff anyway.

I don't have a prob with him reading my stuff adn I do his sometimes.
Got nothing to hide.

I don't always check but would be really annoyed if he objected to me checking.... anyway last time I did it I found things that I didn't approve of and felt justified in checking.

I don't think it's a fact of nothing to hide, but a symbol of explicit trust not to pry into his things

DH only really writes work emails so would be dull dull dull. Often open his post but thats usually because its something dull and housey and I do all the house admin so its just so I can deal with it then and there as he doesn't get in until v. late. As a rule I don't read texts but I did this morning - he was out for a run and I knew it would be his mum texting to say what time she was arriving so did read it.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks like this. It just boggles me a bit when I read the cheating cad threads and see people saying "wtf were you doing reading his email etc?".

I don't go prying in everything but if he gets a text and I'm nearer to his phone I'll read it out to him and I open all post as he doesn't know what to do with most things!

I don't think it's case of 'nothing to hide' or lack of trust, it's more just 'what's mine is yours'.

No, have no reason to think I have any need to, although if I ever felt suspicious that he was cheating then I probably would and I know he'd do the same to me.

I don't think his personal space and privacy are mine, though. He's another person.

I looked at my xp's txts and emails because I thought he was hiding things. He was. Hence the x! If we'd had a proper, trusting honest relationship I think we would have had no worries about doing what you do Moosma, obviously not in an obsessive way, just kind of working together.

If his phone beeps and it's near me - I pass it to him to read as he's going to want to reply anyway, and always tells me what they say so I see no need to go into his private belongings and check for myself.

I won't open his post. There are two letters for him on the coffee table right now that will stay there until he gets home. If it doesn't have mine or both of our names on it - then it's not for me.

His emails - they're his emails for a reason. They have a password for a reason. If he didn't want a certain degree of privacy, he'd ask if he could share my email address.

I just find it astonishing the attitude people have the moment they get married. It's like an automatic loss of human rights for some people.

I am nosy, dp is not so it is tempting to snoop but I trust him so I respect his privacy

I agree regarding pewrsonal space.
When you have children and live together there is so little that is private, it is important to respect the things that are

Oh and if he doesn't open his post for bloody ages, that's his problem.

As it happens my partner gets rather pissed off if he thinks I am reading his emails over his shoulder. I tend to think this is not because he is having an affair but because he doesn't want to be snooped on. I may be wrong, of course, but I suspect that (in his case) turning into a snoopy sort of person is the most likely thing to drive him into the arms of someone else.

We have a joint email address so, yes, I do read his emails.
I do have my own email address too that he has no access to however - but then I'm a secretive so and so, unlike him.

I have the opposite problem. DH is always trying to show me something or read out some e-mail he has been sent, usually while I'm busy. He even prints off the "good" ones from work and brings them home. Granted, sometimes they are quite amusing, but, sheesh, just forward it already!!

Neither of us has a mobile phone.

SheWillBeLoved, we've always done this, not just since we've been married.