Do you read your DH's post, emails, phone messages?

[Moosma]

I do and always have done and he reads mine too, we think nothing of it and would both become suspcious if the other person requested the other not too (does that make any sense?).

So, do you? And if not, why?

My dp is fiercly guarding his crackberry and email/phone messages. It wasn't always like this, I used to be his PA

I do not open his post unless he asks me to when he's travelling. I usually file our bank account statements, bills, pone stuff, anyway so I'd see it if something were dodgy.

I do not suspect him of any treachery though I'm a deviant little rat and quite jealous which is probably not healthy but relatively in check. He will share 99% with me and I try not to see evil in any flirtatious convo.

Panino, you have made a very good point. I have actually experienced exactly that and am keeping a tight reign on myself now. Also I'd always go with my intuition, not what I see or don't see on his mail, fon, etc.

Yes if I think it's something I can deal with (mobile phone bill etc) or if his phone beeps/rings and he's out of the room I'll answer it to see who it is.
Wouldn't particularly open his post if I had no idea what it was, but I might if I knew he was waiting for something iyswim. We swap phones as well if my battery is flat or whatever and obviously call / text then, don't see the difference. They're both our phones, it's just that he happens to use one and I use tghe other. Don;t look at his email but I would if I thought I needed to, and vice versa - I know his passwords.

SOmetimes, if the kids get to the post first and DS1 opens it I look to see what it is, I have no idea how much money he has in his bank account, nor how much his last phone bill was,
I have opened text messages on his phone, not because I thought it was another woman.. but because we were expecting a text to say his parents needed picking up from the airport.
I trust him totally.

we have each others passwords, open the mail indiscriminately, etc... thus never occurred to me to snoop.

If I have a question, I ask. He does the same.

In answer to the op - god no. I suspect they are dull and I don't have any wish to. If I wanted to know I'd just ask him what htey said.

no, no and no.

I trust him, and he's entitled to communicate with people without me knowing everything that's said. i don't even go in his work bag to get the newspaper out without letting him know, out of courtesy.

No.

And he's had two affaires.

I read bills and household stuff that happens to be addressed to him rather than me. I'd never read his emails or personal mail, or start rooting through his phone, unless I suspected him of something.

no

we enjoy having some provacy in our lives
If a friend of mine has told me something via email in confidence, then she is telling me, not dp
it wouldn't be fair to my correspondents for dp to read all their private stuff
ditto I am entitled to private thoughts and feelings, which I may want to share with people other than dp
how can you and your friends have such uninteresting lives that your dp is entitled to know absolutely everything about them? I don't get it

err, make that privacy
we don't enjoy provacy
not at all

No, provacy is rubbish.

We have provacy every other day around ovulation

-how can you and your friends have such uninteresting lives that your dp is entitled to know absolutely everything about them? I don't get it-

Have thought this through - I can't think of any time I have ever recieved an email (and I get loads) with anything "personal" in it - my friends, like me, are far too aware of the risk of emails being inadvertantly forwarded, or sent out to all and sundry by a virus, to ever put anything in them that you wouldn't want to go public.

that's interesting
a large proportion of my emails are about personal stuff

I still don't think that entitles your dp to read them, anyway
he would be assuming that your friends are not going to say anything they don't want him to read
it's like him listening in on a phone conversation without them knowing, IMO

I'm always amused by people who think that it's an invasion of privacy and therefore shouldn't be done. It's because it's an invasion of privacy that it's worth doing. How are else are you going to find out things that aren't your business. Apart from reading MN that is.

FZ but there are so many legitimate reasons he needs to look at them, to check if theres anything he should be picking up, if I'm not around, such as kids arrangements, events we're both going to, whatever. And I know he doesnt read anything not relevant to him, he'd find it far too boring (like I dont read his Screfix emails!)

Reading and processing the majority of emails is, I think, a job, like paying bills or other household admin, so just needs to be got on with.

I don't know my BF's passwords and I don't think there's any reason why I should. Mine isn't password protected but he wouldn't look at them. Same with mail - I just wouldn't dream of opening post addressed to someone else.

have you got a joint email acc then?
can't understand why else dp would need to ever look at emails that are addressed to YOU

I hacked into his emails once when he was living away not long after my MC. I was going a bit dolally and got jealous. I read some emails between him and his ex GF, misread the year and thought he had been emailing her in the july after my MC (May) nearly gave myself a heart attack until I realised. Turned out to have been from the july before we met. Taught myself an important lesson about snooping!
I occasionally look over his inbox if he leaves it open to see what's in there but I don't read emails. I have my passwords saved so he could read mine but I don't think he does. I would if I suspected him of anything tho.

when he's expecting an email, he asks me to check his account, as I'm on t'internet all day and he's at work, so it's easier for me to check. In fact, he's started giving out MY email address to his mates so they can mail me and expect me to pass messages on

I pay all the bills, most of which are in his name, so I open all the post.

We don't have any secrets (that I know of ) so it's not an issue. but I wouldn't dream of reading his post (electronic or otherwise) if it were something personal to him.
He wouldn't ask me not to look, he would just change his password and "forget" to mention it to me.

I would find this weird & creepy & a complete invasion of privacy.

If I know that couples do this I can never confide in either of them or email them about anything personal - so mainly I have little interest in being more than v superficial friends with people who do this!

Presumably if you do this you think you have a right to know about every aspect of your partner's life and do not trust them?

I think it is very controlling to read someone else's emails/letters etc and also very lacking in respect and the thought of that kind of relationship makes me feel ill! I think there are 2 separate individuals within a couple, not one new entity formed of marriage!

Nope they are private.he is an autonomous individual entitled to privacy.