Do men marry women they don't find incredibly attractive?

[kinsey681]

But just ok to look at, so he doesn't find her to look the back end of a bus, but he doesn't think she's movie-star-gorgeous either?

Like women, men can be gold diggers, marry women based on personality rather than looks or go for someone who is more easy for them to manipulate (abuse)…

Well I wasn't think of abuse really.

What?

I think men, like women, marry people they find attractive as actual people. You don't marry someone because of their looks beyond initial attraction. It has to go much deeper surely?

Men marry for lots of different reasons, some are looking for a partner, some for a mother, some for a slave.
Some men place a lot of importance on looks, some don't, they aren't a hive mind

Yes, I’m sure it does happen for a variety of reasons.

I think most husbands think their wives are gorgeous. Beauty is subjective and more about who she is as a package than a face and body (hopefully). However, a few turndown women may spend tons of money on their looks because it's high maintenance and expensive. Or boring.

They think they're gorgeous because of factors other than their actual appearance, though. Their personality after he's got to know her so well overtime makes her look attractive to him.

You get what you can basically. If a man is a 5/10 then he'll do his best and get a 5/10 woman.

Of course, if he loves her.

Aesthetics aren't everything. You can also be sexually attractive to someone without being conventionally attractive. Sex appeal isn't necessarily the same as being fantastic-looking.

Few people are movie star gorgeous so if would mean a lot of very average themselves blokes being single for life if they all hung out for nothing less than Monica Belluci.

This. If you look at all the general public, most people are overall jist average looking. I think lots of people will find a particular feature of their partner attractive - a lovely smile or eyes for eg. But i think in most successful relationships the personality match is much more important than the looks

Exactly. That's what I said.

Well, I'm not a looker and dh married me. He still kisses me, and happily does other things with me, so he must be attracted to something other than my face.

Yes, because most people aren't movie star gorgeous, nor could they expect to attract a partner of that level of attractiveness.
But people are appealing for many reasons, not just looks. Also some people are more concerned with looks than others.

I'd say most men I know would think the fact the woman seems like a nice person and is definitely sexually attracted to them would be sufficient to at least start a relationship if they wanted one.

If anything sometimes women might be more exacting and 'particular' about mens physical features. For example height, hair, not having a micropenis etc.

That sums it up.

I'm not hideous and I'm not gorgeous. Just average.

DH loves me for many reasons. I love him for many reasons, too. Looks don't come into it. I think he's good looking but that isn't why I married him.

I wasn't sure that's what you meant, but I agree with you now I know!

Not everyone fancies the same type. My husband thinks I'm gorgeous even though I've an obvious physical deformity. We've been together twenty odd years. An ex friend of mine commented she couldnt understand why DH was with someone like me.

I've always had a preference for ginger men.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Mumsnet has been an eye-opener as to how many people settle. So yes, of course they do. Both men and women end up with spouses they’re incompatible with including looks, attraction, sex, humour, work ethic, parenting, politics, religion, family values.

What’s behind your question?

Have you ever read ´The Twits’ OP? It’s a kids’ book but the first chapter does a pretty good job of explaining how personality and looks interact.

Well, very few women are movie-star gorgeous, yet very many women are married. So it would stand to reason that men don’t consider movie star looks to be a pre-requisite to marriage?

(Also, most men are not movie star material either!)

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" as a pp just said

What is your point? Are you feeling that someone 'married down' in the looks department? Are you feeling that your partner is 'punching above/below their weight'?

Do some people marry just for looks? Sure. But it's not just men, women do it too. My exH was an absolute Adonis. I was, well, maybe a 6 (7 on a good day lol) and I'm sure his good looks and interest in 'average me' was part of the reason I fell for him. But another quote is 'handsome is as handsome does' and he really wasn't very 'handsome' at all. That's why he's an ex.

My lovely DH now thinks I'm quite the 'whole package', even after 35+ years. And to me he is still grace and looks personified. We fell in love all those years ago with 'who we were' not what we looked like. Love may be blind, but love isn't stupid.

Nothing in particular behind it, I was just curious.

This^^

@AcrossthePond55
Why do you think your 'Adonis' ExH chose you all those years back? You may be better looking than you describe yourself!

What’s that expression about men ‘wanting a Marilyn but marrying a Jackie’? Men want gorgeous women, and may even date them, but will quite often marry the sensible mousy one to have children and settle down with. That’s something I see quite often.