Do men marry women they don't find incredibly attractive?

[kinsey681]

But just ok to look at, so he doesn't find her to look the back end of a bus, but he doesn't think she's movie-star-gorgeous either?

I knew when my husband was falling in love with me because he asked me if I had done something different with my make up as was looking really beautiful.

I wasn't wearing any make up 😂.

He still tells me I'm gorgeous all the time and likes to wolf whistle me when I leave to go to work 😂😂. It's an inside joke. Together 20 years now.

That's true, but there are exceptions. My DH is certainly more attractive than I am, but he's also socially awkward and a bit aloof, which meant he didn't have the gift of the gab or the smooth talk that some men use to their advantage.

My wife's Ginger she's got Ginger armpits she's covered in freckles she's Gorgeous! 😍

I think my husband did. He has always said how much he loves my intelligence, kindness and sense of humour. I know I'm fugly. He went for mental attraction rather than physical attraction imo.

Agree with this. Men will get what they can and yes, they will usually go for women they find very attractive.

That said, attraction isnt a one size fits all is it? some men go for the typical slim blonde type and some men find curvy brunettes very sexy. But generally speaking, I dont know of any man who married his wife based solely on her personality with no to little attraction present.

If they didn’t, a lot more of us would be single.

He thinks you're sexy though, so maybe you aren't punching?

My younger brother's only requirement in a partner is huge HUGE breasts. It has led him to date a lot of horrendous women. His current wife has physical and mental health problems.Hes miserable. No doubt he will be off soon with another woman with huge breasts. She'll be partner number 6.

Do you really believe that all men are so shallow that they would only marry a gorgeous woman??

If they are natural then she will have health issues from excessive estrogen and if she had implants she likely made herself sick.

This made me smile just a little bit. Are these women slim with huge breasts though?

Women with large breasts don't all have excess estrogen.

No, that's not what I was saying.

Quite a lot of women are attractive I think. Even if it’s not in a formulaic way, there’s often something about them, so I don’t think most men “settle”. They ARE attracted. In addition if the woman is confident in who she is and what she’s worth and is warm and intelligent that can be just as attractive as the other kind of “looks” confidence.

Also of they share the same outlook, both want a settled relationship, home, family. Plus similar interests, etc.

I do feel a bit down reading about all these loved up couples where the man thinks she’s the bees knees. As it never happened to me <sad little face> and it won’t now 60+

Myself and my husband were discussing similar recently. Pretty much everyone we know is as attractive as their partner, except for two couples that were confusing because one was way more attractive than the other.

the one where the male was more attractive, we do think settled for her family money and how she let him do what he liked really. I don’t think he was crazily attracted to her physically or otherwise. A marriage of financial convenience above all.

My soon to be DH tells me I am beautiful and how lucky he he is frequently. I am 55 , carrying a few extra pounds and not beautiful though I might have some nice indvidual features. The point is, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and you fall in love with whole package not just looks.
We were out last night and got chatting to a couple and looking back due to this thread, I would say they were miss matched perhaps looked wise . They were a great couple, very very funny , in tune with each other and I could totally see how well matched they were. Personalities always shine through and that's what matters.

Of course. We all settle eventually..

I'm sure you can still find a man who loves you. A lot of people who get together and marry really young don't have perfect lives either. They aren't all madly in love, either from the start or all the time.

I would say most of my friends and their partners are equally matched in looks. There's no-one really unattractive with someone who is super good looking if that makes sense. One friend has done pretty well for herself but she was always quite attractive to men (to me fairly ordinary looking but she must've had 'something' I couldn't see as a straight woman).
Not sure it's solely about looks anyway as DS is a good looking guy, but he's so shy he's never had a gf.

This is fun, maybe rhis is the bigger picture :)

From South Pacific film, a Roger’s & Hammerstein classic film track

If a man is a 5/10 he'll STILL be looking for a 7/10 (Long term relationship wise anyway).

Sometimes personality brings things up for everyone though. Men can fall in love the same as women.

And as a pp said, abusers will often 'date down' (looks wise) so that the person will be less likely to leave them as they feel they are 'punching'.

This.

Of course OP. Marriage isn't isn't like a real life version of Shallow Hal, where every man literally thinks his wife is the most gorgeous woman on earth, and can't understand why everyone doesn't see the same.

Do you feel insecure op?

I don't think looks are the most important thing in a relationship. Connection and attraction are. They are more than looks.

I was definitely the more physically attractive one in my relationship when we met. But dh was cute, funny, hard working, intelligent and really nice. I fancy him more than I have ever fancied anyone despite the fact some ex's have been technically better looking.

Fast forward twenty years I'm mid forties dh is late thirties. I'm over weight , peri menopausal, I've aged a lot whereas dh has toned up at the gym and is very fit. I'd say the attraction scales are shifting more in his favour.