Are most men shit or is it just how Mumsnet portrays them?

[loveyoutothemoon]

Is Mumsnet enough to put you off men for life? All you see on here is cheating men. Think I'm just damaged from an abusive marriage!

This

You are really trying hard to twist what I wrote.
Of course people should appreciate little things their partner does and say "thank you" etc. You can expect certain behaviours as minimum standard in relationship, yet show appreciation for them and be polite to your partner. It's not this or either.
Lots of people appreciate what their partner does AND see those things as normal part of being in healthy, equal relationship.
You're making a wrong assumption that just because someone has higher standards they would take another person for granted or forgot about politeness and positive interaction.

The other poster did not write that there were special circumstances behind her husband loading a dishwasher. He did dishes, she did homework. Fair split.
If it was more special then that she should have mentioned and her cooking dinner was my admitted assumption. I didn't say it was a fact.

A mother doing school run or dishes would not be considered a great partner or a great parent or anything unusual by anyones standards. It would be considered normal and expected. Regardless of her working full time, working shifts etc. That's why I pointed out that t's something not connected to woman's working status/family roles.

I would have to agree with this.

My EXDP used the fact I wanted to get married to try and control me, until I accepted he was future faking me.

My EXDP was also fantastic to everyone else, but behind closed doors, he took every opportunity to put me down.

There are a few good men around, however they don't make it out of their 20's still single, and no woman is giving them up easily.

Now in my early 40's, with 2 DC's and been single for 3 years I've accepted it's unlikely I will meet a decent guy to settle down with. It's clear that there are just too few good men to go around.

No complaints here, pretty much a fair division of physical and mental effort with home, work and kids.

However, it's so annoying when my mum and other older people remind me of "How lucky you are to have him", "you've got a good one there", like women should be super-grateful not to get a slob.

My dh would never cheat, he doesn't have it in him. Unfortunately he is a pain in the arse though.

Women dont admit how bad their men are Irl

So can men admit 'how bad their women are' Is that OK?

Most people are a bit shit. And do are lots if relationships.

Don't say that too loud you'll get accused of being smug and "just you wait..."

😂😂

For years the bar has been set low and women have accepted bare minimum as being "a good one".

But the scales are falling and once you see it you can't un-see it.

Bit like red car syndrome.

Nope, women. But then I have dealt largely with women in the past and find them difficult.

Are you one?

Happily single! Even the nice guys can often reek of male entitlement.

The only thing I miss about having a man in my life is regular sex and physical intimacy. Any other person who is close to can fulfill me in all other ways that a DP might otherwise.

That must be why the vast majority of violent criminals and sex offenders are the male flavour of "human".

They say the fact that the vast majority of domestic abusers being male too is just due to lack of reporting; I have my doubts about that.

I certainly think that in the last 20 years new challenges to relationships have come along that have made it far easier to be a secretive shit when wanting an ego boost, extra marital sex, flirting for fun with others when in a relationship , regular porn use , easy access to hookers/webcams etc .

I don't think all men are shits by any reach but do think a great many have developed some shitty habits , many of which are hidden and a sense of entitlement that women will not only bring home the bacon but do more housework and child rearing too

My exH thinks I was radicalised by MN. 🤣

No, I just realised what I was experiencing being married to him wasn't a good place to be.

I work in a male-dominated industry and although we get on fine, a good portion could do better with their overall attitudes tbh.

I think women tolerate far too much in the main. Don't put up with it! Set the bar high!

Not all men are cheats, not all women are innocent!

Men (more than women) have dark triad traits. There are studies on this. So they are more likely to cheat and be ok with lying.

Oh this. With bells on. I think the problem is that men are brought up to put themselves first and if they do anything to buck that trend then whoopity do. Woman are expected to put everyone else first and are just not ‘womanly’ if they don’t. It’s a much-skewed scoring system. Lower bar for the boys.
Thats why women should always lift up other women, not to the detriment of men, that’s not what I mean. Just in looking out for each other.

On the whole I think when it comes to family life/houswork/mental load a lot of men can be selfish and put their needs above their wife and children. Whereas most women tend to put family above themselves. Certainly this is my experience growing up and in friends/families relationships. My dh is not as bad as some but he can be selfish.

Then obviously there is the percentage of men who cheat or abuse their partners.

Obviously on here we see the worst because people post for advice on how to manage difficult situations

Love this post, also the username

In short, no, they aren’t.

Just over time you get to know the ones that are and fade them out of your life and stick with the decent ones.

But I’m not speaking from a domestic/ DH perspective so maybe they take a turn for the worse once you marry them!