Sex in relationships

[Ellsx6]

How important is sex in a relationship to you?

I could easily just do twice a month and that would do me fine..some of my friends say they have sex atleast 5x a week!

My DH is great in bed so it's not a him problem, and when we do have sex it's enjoyable. I'm just lazy and can't be bothered most the time😂also feel like I have a low sex drive compared to most. DH doesn't mind to much as he's equally got quite a low sex drive.

Are we strange? Is it that important to you to have sex very regularly or are you fine without?

It's important for me but doesn't seem to be a problem for you or your husband which is all that counts.

I guess I just feel alien! Society makes it seem like men want sex 24/7

You and your husband are happy. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks.

People are talking rubbish. 5x a week my arse. When your first together and don't have any responsibilities possibly. When you can't even take a dump on your own. You've got small children and shit to be getting on with them I doubt it. Children are the ultimate blockers.

Anyway, sex is very important to me. I wouldn't want a sexless marriage. However, after 15 years and 2 kids I think once or twice a week is pretty reasonable.

In a relationship if your sex drives are matched then there's no problem I can see!

You’re both happy, don’t go looking for problems!

Honestly, ideally daily. Thankfully my partner is the same.

It is miserable being in a relationship where there's a mismatch. The ideal is where you are both in agreement.

This varies so much and I think like almost everything in life - it’s entirely down to the individual. The important thing is you and your partner are aligned.

My husband would happily do it twice a day. I’ve got a lower drive, I’d do it during ovulation and then have three weeks off!

Why?

I typically had sex 6 times a week during the small children stage too. It kept me sane! I needed it more then than now to feel like me for a period of a day to not be mum.

It is ridiculous to state your norm is typical for everyone else.

I was thinking about this today. I have been with DH 32 years. We have sex 3-4 times a week. Sometimes we have really not been getting on at all and somehow it holds us together. I am disabled and he makes my body feel incredible, it is literally the only thing that 100% assures me a good nights sleep and relieves all my pain. I realise it is not such a big part of other peoples relationship and not something we discuss with friends so I have no idea how common/rare my situation is.

I have a much higher sex drive than my husband these days. Once a week is fine for him. Less than that even. It does piss me off if I’m honest .
Sometimes on MN you read people are shagging morning, noon and night and it makes me think that we are a bit odd.

However, life, jobs, children, lack of privacy and all sorts can interrupt sex and are great contraception ! It’s not like these days we can just have a quick bunk up mid afternoon if we’re in the mood!

Bloody hell, I would be happy with once or twice a month, maybe 3 at a push.

5 times a week? Sounds horrendous to me

Don't get it ..🤣

Hmmmm

Please don’t be worrying me. I’ve already thought this.

For us it's really important. We make sure it's 3 tires a week and it makes me feel good, close to my husband and I sleep better after! My menopause has had the opposite effect on my libido too

It's very important to me. I'm happy with about 3 or 4 times a week. However I feel the need to orgasm most days and so I use my vibrator nearly everyday regardless of if I've had sex with my husband or not. Sometimes I just want to focus on myself and my own pleasure.

When we got together years ago we would perhaps about 3x a week when we visited eachother..these days we live together, pregnant, house work, both full time jobs it's so tiring. When we were younger both living with our parents still and barely any responsibilities I guess we had more time! It's just not something i prioritise into my day and I can rarely be bothered (even before being pregnant)! Was watching a podcast last night with an only fans chick in and she said something like .. if your partners sex drive goes down after you've been together for a while , it hasn't and he's just out cheating😅. Well mines gone down and I'm not cheating! Don't think he is either - well id hope not😂

Now, really important - though im happy with 3 x a week. I'm not sure what I will do as and when our sex life stops. I just have to hope we die first.

Also .. DH sex drive massively dropped after he was in quite a serious lorry accident..struggling with ptsd ect which is understandable..not that it bothers me anyway. I love him the same with or without having sex every other day and understand how hard he must be suffering mentally

Agree, then people start getting bored and the rot sets in.

Once or twice a month is fine for me. I've always found sex a bit underwhelming being honest. It's far, far better on my own ...
My husband would probably like more but we're both happy. There's far more to a marriage than sex, in my opinion.

And yes, maybe it would be better sex with someone else. But I'm not prepared to ditch a 16 year strong relationship to find out.

Hmm... once a month since DH swapped to working weekends. I am also settling into depoprovera injection after years of heavy periods so I have some annoyance bleeding. He is very patient and we do other stuff 😉

We are hoping by the 3rd injection the bleeding stops completely but we pencilled in 12 months after all my issues.

Me and DH are happy and that's all that matters. Same with you OP, if you and your husband have matching sex drives then you're onto a winner!

Considering half of mumsnet co sleep with their kids until their 14 I can't imagine many are having sex 5 times a week