Sex in relationships

[Ellsx6]

How important is sex in a relationship to you?

I could easily just do twice a month and that would do me fine..some of my friends say they have sex atleast 5x a week!

My DH is great in bed so it's not a him problem, and when we do have sex it's enjoyable. I'm just lazy and can't be bothered most the time😂also feel like I have a low sex drive compared to most. DH doesn't mind to much as he's equally got quite a low sex drive.

Are we strange? Is it that important to you to have sex very regularly or are you fine without?

It was really pedantic of me … gah. Just wanted to point it out in case you hadn’t realised. And yes of course people would understand. Thanks for not taking offence!

We are very strong and have a great relationship. I don't feel like anything's missing at all and neither does he..just like you though I feel society makes you think sex is everything that I was feeling alien with the fact we were both so okay with minimal sex.. I had a worry that it was just me that was okay with it and DH wasn't being honest that he isn't - as everyone makes out like men MUST want to have sex every night or there must be a problem

I agree with posters saying it is the match that's more important, if both your drives are in sync you're good. I know this through experience both ways

It doesn't matter if you're a 3x a day person or a 3x a year person. It will change over time anyway - pregnancy, childrearing, heavy work stress, grief, illness, accidents, worry about money, etc, etc, etc. What matters is whether the two of you are in step with each other, and can talk about it, and still show affection even if there's no sex. Many threads here show that a big mismatch on drives will lead to problems.

Thankyou! This makes me feel better opposed to the people who make out if it's not often my relationship must not be great. We are very affectionate but just don't see sex as the most important thing ever

I agree!
I’d say at least once a day . Sometimes twice or three if you are on a roll lol

Kids too and not In my 20’s

Clearly life gets in the way at times and there shouldn’t be pressure .

Why is it ok to NOT enjoy , sex but not ok to ENJOY sex ???

I need an orgasm a day one way of the other. If he's with me it's with him, if not alone.

The last time we had penetrative sex was about 4 years ago.
dh would ike it more, but, basically I can't be arsed most of the time.

There's got to be a balance between sex every day and no sex at all. Or at least some kind of discussion. If dp stops wanting sex and doesn't talk to me about it, that would be total misery.

Can I ask how old you are? 4 years is a long time especially if your dh wants it.

It depends. In my marriage we’ve had many years of twice a month. We have also had periods of it being most days.

sex is important to me for the connection, I know when I need it, for example I can’t wait for my period to end so I can have sex with him. At the moment anything over 3/4 days without and I really want / need it for the closeness.

@OchAyeTheN00 glad to know it's not just us who have been through phases of often then not so often! Thanks for that :)

Twice a month is fine for me. My OH would probably say once a week. I'm like you, a little bit lazy, I enjoy it when it happens but cannot be bothered more than that!

I would prefer it every other day as it’s important to my well being and I love that deep connection. On holiday we usually have sex every day but on a normal week it’s 3 times a week (2 if one of us has been unwell). We are a bit mismatched in sex drives, my dp’s is a bit less sometimes and it’s been a bit of an issue in the past for me. He’s always giving me affection in other ways apart from sexually and he’s great otherwise. Sunday was a good morning lol we managed it twice with a 5 min break in between and our DCs were with their other parents houses.

Twice with only 5 mins inbetween! Wow!! My DH would say he needs atleast 30 mins to 'fill back up again'🤣🤣

haha yes I think I’m quite lucky like that as this will usually be norm of child free weekend though I only count that as having sex once 😅
for you though and your husband you both seem so happy and that’s a great place to be. It’s better that then to go to bed some nights a bit sexually frustrated 😣

Whatever works for you both is the right amount

Really. How does your other half feel about this?

I mean he'd definitely like to have it, but he would never pressure me.

He tells me he loves me every day and we are affectionate in other ways.

I know it's definitely unusual!

You must certainly make up for it elsewhere if your husband has no problem going two years without sex!

Thanks! I'm sure if I said no sex ever again he wouldn't be pleased..he's the same as me. We love it when we do it but most the time he can't be bothered same as I can't🤣

If I was in a healthy, long term relationship with a man whose sex drive matched mine, I would at present be wanting sex daily.

I have a high sex drive and DH and I usually do it daily, it relaxes me.

However, it really doesnt matter what anyone else does OP- it's what you and your husband want that matters. Who gives a toss (pardon the pun!) what anyone else does or thinks?

This we are normally morning and evening here. Longest 2 days - but I also had a week when I was really ill with an infection.

I don't let anything get to me (opinions of others on my sexual relationship) but was curious as to if anyone is actually having sex every day or if there's anyone else out there who's the same with us and it's fine. I've been with DH since I was 15 so he's my first everything I don't have experiences with others so I'm just going off of what my friends say (most of them believing I must have a shite relationship as we are not at it every night). We was never going to break up over it as it works for us but I was still curious as to how important and how often it is for others🙂