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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Message telling me, my partner is cheating!

127 replies

Loopy2020 · 29/10/2024 15:10

Last Thursday I received a request on FB messenger, from nobody I recognised. I accepted and the message popped up saying “your boyfriend is cheating on you, just like he did Don, nothing changes with that one”
has anyone else had something similar? Trying to make sense of it!
partner denies it and tbh, I’ve never questioned his loyalty! Just can’t shake the feeling what if…???
help!

OP posts:
Namechangejustincase24 · 29/10/2024 20:13

I wouldn’t have told him and done some digging 1st tbh.

NeckolasCage · 29/10/2024 20:13

She’s called Don? Cheating is the least of her worries.

Original poster
Loopy2020 · 29/10/2024 20:13

@Boomer55 we are not friends! It was a request for me to accept a message. Thanks

OP posts:
DahliaSmith · 29/10/2024 20:14

If the person mentioned the name of his ex in the message, I think you can be fairly sure it is someone who knows him and his ex, and is not a random scam?

Namechangejustincase24 · 29/10/2024 20:14

NeckolasCage · 29/10/2024 20:13

She’s called Don? Cheating is the least of her worries.

Donna

Original poster
Loopy2020 · 29/10/2024 20:16

@HettySunshine the account that messaged me is just following two people and one is another of his ex’s not Don! She’s called Annie! This was all like 10 years ago so all a bit odd! Thanks for reply

OP posts:
HettySunshine · 29/10/2024 20:18

Loopy2020 · 29/10/2024 20:16

@HettySunshine the account that messaged me is just following two people and one is another of his ex’s not Don! She’s called Annie! This was all like 10 years ago so all a bit odd! Thanks for reply

Sounds like nonsense to me. I'd just ignore it. Hope you're okay.

Namechangejustincase24 · 29/10/2024 20:20

How do you know if someone is following you on FB?

Original poster
Loopy2020 · 29/10/2024 20:21

@HettySunshine i am ok thank you. My gut is saying it’s someone with an issue from his past (he’s been in recovery for almost 7 years)
i believe before that in active addiction he was not the best partner

OP posts:
category12 · 29/10/2024 20:22

Why would someone do this after 7 years?

Original poster
Loopy2020 · 29/10/2024 20:24

@Namechangejustincase24 i kept it to myself all day and messages his two ex’s one never replied and one did, also asked to look at his phone as soon as he came home.

OP posts:
Original poster
Loopy2020 · 29/10/2024 20:26

@Namechangejustincase24 not sure I just looked on followers (on the account that messaged me and it had two) one being another ex!?!

OP posts:
5128gap · 29/10/2024 20:26

Could be someone who's been in his life for a long time and who he has cheated on successive partners with. He cheated on Annie and Donna with her and now allegedly on you too. It's clearly not a scam and it's obviously someone who knows him. The only question is is he a serial cheat or just someone who had angered someone so much they'd lie that he was. He will absolutely have some ideas on this. Don't let him fob you off.

Namechangejustincase24 · 29/10/2024 20:27

Loopy2020 · 29/10/2024 20:24

@Namechangejustincase24 i kept it to myself all day and messages his two ex’s one never replied and one did, also asked to look at his phone as soon as he came home.

Fair enough and he let you look at his phone no problems? If so I’d say you have nothing to worry about.

Original poster
Loopy2020 · 29/10/2024 20:28

@category12 i really don’t know! As I said not sure he was a good partner in active addiction!

OP posts:
category12 · 29/10/2024 20:32

Loopy2020 · 29/10/2024 20:28

@category12 i really don’t know! As I said not sure he was a good partner in active addiction!

But for an ex of over 7 years to still be bothered enough by what he did as an addict doesn't seem that likely to me. A more recent ex, maybe.

Original poster
Loopy2020 · 29/10/2024 20:40

@category12 Good point! Maybe picked the other names as a set up! Annie and Donna?! I’m driving myself mad! lol

OP posts:
rockingbird · 29/10/2024 20:51

I'd be careful as this person has gone out of their way to message you and it doesn't seem like it's from his colourful past. I was messaged by the other woman, she was open about the affair and I was thankful for that - ex husband minimised it all of course. If she's now blocked you I guess it was just a case of getting it out there-what you choose to do with it is more the problem.

Original poster
Loopy2020 · 29/10/2024 21:12

rockingbird · 29/10/2024 20:51

I'd be careful as this person has gone out of their way to message you and it doesn't seem like it's from his colourful past. I was messaged by the other woman, she was open about the affair and I was thankful for that - ex husband minimised it all of course. If she's now blocked you I guess it was just a case of getting it out there-what you choose to do with it is more the problem.

But the two people mentioned are from his past. Also the account that messaged me was a male name, obviously doesn’t mean it is a male thanks for your reply

OP posts:
Gonegirl7 · 29/10/2024 21:16

I was once dating a man for a short while who I realised actually had a live in girlfriend after I found her stuff hidden at the flat.
i thought about anonymously messaging her lots afterwards (I found out her full name). I was going to Facebook her. I wouldn’t have sent any proof as I didn’t have any.

i wouldn’t write it off completely as a lie OP

rockingbird · 29/10/2024 21:46

What if he's visiting his past? Recovering from what? I'd be taking it a bit more seriously

TheQueeen · 29/10/2024 21:46

I doubt it’s a scam of the kind others have said it could be, if the person sent you the message and then blocked you. If it was a proper scam then they would have sent you some link to click on etc, so it seems it’s genuine, either someone lying to make trouble for you, or someone giving you the heads up that your partner is cheating

category12 · 29/10/2024 21:49

I just think it must be something recent that has sparked someone off.

They obviously know him and of past partners. But why would they suddenly decide to contact you out of the blue if it was something from years back?

There's got to have been some trigger for it.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 29/10/2024 21:54

Why don't you call them via fb messenger and hear what they have to say?

Pinkbonbon · 29/10/2024 22:00

It'll either be Annie or Don contacting you.

Unless he's pissed off a friend of his lately thats seen him cheating for years.

I suspect its a woman though.