Should my boyfriend stay in with me?

[tallulahbriant]

I have recently started going out with a lovely man, he’s 30.

I have some exams coming up and he’s invited me to a birthday, I accepted the invite but said I wouldn’t be able to stay long as I have the exams the week after. Do you think he should leave with me or I should leave when I need to? My first thought is that he’s invited me so we should leave together.

i would most definitely leave when he wanted to if I had invited him along.

thoughts - and in general on the topic - should your boyfriend stay in with you if you can’t go out?

'They're one'

You've only recently started dating this bloke.

Even if you were married you are not 'one'.

You and he are not ‘one’, ffs. You as an individual don’t cease to exist because you’re going out with someone. And this guy isn’t a partner anyway, you said in the op that you’re ’recently’ going out with him, suggesting it’s quite a new thing.

Leave him to have fun!

And the last if this carries on.

It's all very sweet and cute now, but it'll become a pain in the arse very quickly.

I missed that you e only just started dating him! That makes you sound even madder! You’re at the stage of figuring out whether you even like one another!

No!!! Are you practicing to become one of those women who won't let her partner out of her sight??

Decline the invitation and wish him a lovely evening.

And it's really not OK to ask him not to go to a wedding because you weren't invited.

You have just started seeing him.
He's not your partner if it's a new relationship.
I think you need to chill out. Massively.

I hope you haven't indicated to him you expect him to leave . That's a big red flag tbh. You should want him to enjoy as you can't spend time with him as you're studying.

What?!! You’ve asked him not to go to his friend’s wedding because you’re not invited (which is completely understandable as you’ve only started going out with each other and they’ve probably never even met you). This is so unhealthy, if you want a happy relationship you need to work on your controlling behaviour. If my friend started seeing someone like you I would be seriously worried.

’The woman I’ve just started dating thinks I shouldn’t go out or stay out without her because she’s studying for exams. I’ve only gone on three dates with her. Should I run for the hills?’

He's your boyfriend, not your conjoined twin.

Is this your first relationship? Or at least, your first relationship as an adult? It's not really normal (or healthy) to do everything as a pair. It's totally normal to go out separately or to go home at different times if one of you needs an early night and the other one doesn't.

Is this your first relationship?!

Partnerships work best when couples find the right balance between doing stuff together but also understanding they are allowed to do stuff separately too.

He’s not your partner OP you’ve only recently started going out :s

He's your (new) boyfriend, you're not "one" person. If DH (of 19 years) ever referred to us as 'being one' I'd tell him to not be so bloody daft!

This is about the 3rd or 4th thread the OP has started about dating, but the only one she's actually returned to.

We should feel honoured 🎖

Of course you like spending time with your partner, and I’m sure he enjoys spending time with you too. But would you be spending time with him after you’ve left the party? Or would you be studying/sleeping?

You keep saying you “agree with all of the above” but then you go on to continue saying you think he should leave with you as that’s what you assume people in relationships do. So I don’t think you do agree with what everyone is saying.
Curious to know how old you are, is this your first relationship?

I went to a Halloween event on Friday with my boyfriends friends, he didn’t come as he doesn’t like that kind of stuff. Over summer my friends had a bbq that went on into the evening but my boyfriend left early as he was up early in the morning to help a friend move house and he didn’t want to be tired/w, and this was fine, he insisted I stay as, well, why wouldn’t I? I didn’t need to be up early, why would I leave a fun event just to watch him sleep?

Go home early and let him stay.

How long have you been together?

OP, just out of curiosity, how old are you?!

She met him 3 months ago according to her other thread, but ended up kissing someone else.

It's a bit confusing though because it's not clear if the someone else was this boyfriend or the boyfriend she says she was 'on a break' from?

Fuck me. I've been married 30 years and often go out without dh. We're not joined at the bloody hip.

People in couples aren't one!! They're two separate individuals, especially in the early days.
Can't believe he's missing a wedding because of you...

It seems to be highly controlling ti have the sort of expectations you seem to have so early in a relationship. This all all the potential to turn into quite a stifling relationship.

I hope you come to your senses and lose the clinginess and possessiveness you seem to be prone to. A healthy relationship does not work like this.

Ahhhh one of those is it.

Leave together because you are one..

Jesus that’s giving me Borg vibes. We are one. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.

You can exist as your own people with separate identities, wants and needs. You can go to events together or individually and you can leave when you want (together or separately).

You are not joined at the hip ans it’s healthy to have interests, socialisation ans things going on as an individual whilst being in a relationship.

Have you had previous happy, heathy relationships as an adult?

Well, you thought wrong.