My DP and I have been together for just over a year and we’ve been living together for 3 months. He hasn’t told his grown children about me yet (31 & 25) and the majority of his friends don’t know I exist.
I lived in a different country and he moved to be with me. After one month of living together he went back to his homeland to see his doctor and stayed with his ex wife (separated not divorced) and one his 26 yr old son. His other son has a spare room but he made the excuse that he couldn’t stay there as there wasn’t a bed in the room. He stayed over night and now he has planned another trip for two nights still staying with his ex wife and son.
I find this very disrespectful but when I bring it up he gets angry and doesn’t see what the problem is. He says he moved away from them and gave up his life to be with me so why isn’t that enough to show how much he loves and wants me. He says he is going to tell them all about me in 2 weeks when he is back, but I just don’t believe he will. I’ve put my foot down and said that come Christmas, if he goes home, then I’m going too and suddenly the “I have to go to the docs every 2 months” isn’t a thing!
He regularly stays at my parents when I have a trip home and I never go anywhere without him. Apart from his gym time, he is with me 24/7 as he also now works with me.
I feel like I’ve shared my entire life with him as he has met all my friends, family and colleagues, yet there’s only 3 people in his life that know about me and my existence.
He won’t let me post any photos of him on social media as he says it’s not fair on his family to be splashing how happy we are when he has in effect abandoned them. He has put his foot down and said we won’t be having a foursome with his friend and his fiancée for dinner or drinks (she’s an awful woman to be fair and tried to stir things up in our relationship the first time I met her). I feel like I’m being hidden away and he wants me just to himself but equally share everything and everyone in my life.
Im almost 45 and don’t want to be flogging a dead horse. I don’t see why he has waited so long to tell his kids and I don’t see why he wants to stay at his ex wife’s house even though they had a very a amicable break up! Am I being ridiculous and harsh on him for not wanting him to stay there and wanting his family to know about me?