Can you get over bad teeth when potentially dating someone?

[HulaHoopz]

I feel terrible and shallow but... I've recently reconnected with someone I used to see a lot when I was younger. Nothing ever materialised but we recently connected on social media. After exchanging a few recent photos.. he sent me one of him smiling and omg his teeth... he's missing a fair few, yellow, crooked and broken...

I always liked him and never recall him having bad teeth... but they're really noticeable and I don't want it to put me off but they do....

Is there anyway getting past bad teeth when you're dating when it's an otherwise really lovely guy who you know would treat you really well?.....

But people do say that. Plenty of people say they wouldn't be attracted to someone overweight

It depends on how bad they are op.
Implants are not always possible if too much time has passed. Teeth move as they try to fill in gaps, and when the gap is too small there is no more room for implants. Also whitening them is also an issue as it so not good for your teeth in the long run.
mid front teeth are missing, yellow with stained and crocked, then yea, that would be quite an issue.

Absolutely not. I'd feel sick.

My husband has great teeth

Yeah all those women over a size 12 having photos taken with a big smile on their face, strutting their stuff, looking so confident, don’t they realise what a bloater they are and that nobody wants to see their fat arse looking confident, when they should be ashamed of themselves, clearly they have fat blindness.

All those flat chested women wearing low cut tops, embarrassing, don’t they realise they have no tits?

look at her with her big honking nose, taking photos without a care in the world, shame

is the equivalent of what you just said.

most people who have bad teeth don’t smile open mouthed, mainly because of judgement from people like you

My god you're all so terribly judgemental!

If a woman had HG and the vomitting for 9 months absolutely destroyed her teeth, you'd rip a man apart if he broke up with her over them. Also bet you'd take a dim view of future men who weren't interested in her solely for her pregnancy damaged teeth.

Some physical and mental health conditions are very harsh on teeth, and genetics play a massive role in dental health and resilience too.

My partner is the most amazing man, but he had to have crowns and bonding before we met after severe MH issues and depression led to him not looking after his teeth for about a year or so, and in that short time due to shite genetics, he got serious damage. He's super hygienic now, and only drinks through straws as he's so scared of damaging them again. His breath isn't bad, but a bit pongy if he's had onions/garlic etc, same as anyone elses would be. As for his hygiene elsewhere, it's top tier.

He called me in a panic last week as i was on my way over, as part of his bonding cracked and fell out whilst he was brushing and he was scared i'd find him repulsive. It wasn't even in part of his mouth i could see!

I thought he was being a bit paranoid over nothing, but these responses have properly shocked me. Would you all be so criticising of men with wrinkles for not looking after their skin, or balding/greying for not looking after their hair etc?

Surely if they can eat and aren't in pain that's all that matters, judging because of looks is incredibly shallow and not what's most important in a relationship at all. Hope none of you suddenly have an issue where you lose or damage any teeth or get grey and wrinkly and men turn their noses up at you!

They don’t see their judgemental messages about the person essentially being dirty, gross or poor, because good teeth may be all they have to bring to the table, they’d be shook having their fat arses, or flat chests, or big honking nose, large feet, big hands, hairy arms, annoying laugh, bad hair, boring personality, low sex drive, poor moral values, promiscuous attitudes, snobbery, shallow thinking, short legs, stretchmarks and all the rest similarly judged as a deal breaker, gross and disgusting and means they should be totally written off as a partner. As long as they have a good set of teeth they think somehow that puts them above people with bad teeth in terms of attraction. Newsflash , there are many people whose teeth aren’t a good as theirs who are all round much more attractive than they are. And for the lard arses in here, most of you are lazy fuckers who can’t be arsed to exercise and eat excessively, which is gross and unnattractive, I can only imagine how much sweat there is between your folds, and who wants to shag that. A handful of you have medical issues, the rest- gross. So if you’re sitting there with your good teeth thinking your fat isn’t an issue, it’s more of an issue for most people than imperfect teeth.

A lot of posts on here aggressively laying into women for having standards and boundaries.

Crikey.

No!

Playing devils advocate, it doesn’t sound too nice when it’s about fat people does it?

My boyfriend had leukaemia when he was younger and as a result many of his teeth are hollow and he's missing a few molars, although you can't tell and I often forget he's missing them. Apart from some crookedness, his teeth actually look fine, not rotten or anything.

If a guy had bad teeth due to poor dental hygiene, drug abuse etc, that would definitely put me off. Also, it sounds shallow, but having gone through orthodontic treatment myself, if a guy had what would be classed as severe malocclusion and had never done anything about getting it sorted, again, that would probably put me off as well.

I wonder what it is that is making you share your own post? Perhaps create your own thread about not finding fat people attractive if you aren't getting what you want from this one about teeth.

Afraid not. It suggests (fairly or unfairly) bad personal hygiene and lack of self-care.

Men with missing teeth at the front look terrible. Wherever possible they should take out a loan if need be to sort the problem out.

I’ve explained my reasoning, try reading the thread.

Yeah, you are trying to start something. Noone is interested.

I think this is tricky actually.

I'm in my mid 40s and so many people my age have terrible teeth - men and women including me (well they look ok but I know what is wrong with them).

Lots of my friends don't have great teeth either and neither do their partners. I think that although dentistry was thought to be really good at the time it just wasn't as progressive as it is now. My kids both have much niecer teeth than me.

Not brushing teeth is completely different.

Of course, because the people on here being highly judgemental, and not realising that there are multiple reasons for bad teeth besides poor hygiene, who are laughing and mocking people with bad teeth, would be outraged if pulled up on their own inadequacies or things that others would find repulsive about them. No doubt they would argue that they are not lazy, unhealthy and gross if they carry more weight than most would find attractive. They would hope to be loved and understood, and not judged, by someone. It’s a big no to insult people who are fat, we must call them curvy despite the fact that many of them don’t have discernible curves and are just fat. Also the fact that most who carry excess weight could be doing a lot to get into better shape, but obviously to say that about them is scandalous.

To make the statement someone did above about someone smiling with their mouth open, and do they have teeth blindness implies they should feel deep shame and embarrassment for not having perfect teeth, and so I’ve asked whether fat people should just avoid the camera full stop? If they can’t afford liposuction they must be poor and lazy according to what’s written above? So my points are very valid, and if you are struggling with your weight and are offended, then get off your arse and go for a jog rather than typing on Mumsnet

That sounds like a Harry Potter spell 😂

You can't change people's minds though. I'd don't mind if someone didn't want to date me because of my tummy overhang and it put them off me. I don't care, I wouldn't have surgery to fix it as I don't want to. Similarly, this man isn't changing his dental approach any time soon. You can make choices but you can't control what others think about them.

Teeth are a social signifier, unfortunately, like being thin. There's a few people who don't fit into those boxes but people jump to what's the most likely explanation and stick with that. Fatter people have stereotypes about them all the time and it is a big deal for a lot of men when dating, although given that they are pretty much all fairly tubby by mid-life they can't be too choosy unless they are very wealthy or high status in another way.

Everyone is judgemental when dating. Unfortunately sexual attraction is not some sort of equal opportunities admission exam. Women - and men- are allowed to be attracted to who they want.

Otherwise Greg Davies would HAVE to be with me. And unfortunately life isn't like that

Fight me for him 😅

As a student I once met up with a not very famous comedian who I’d been chatting to online in the early days of twitter. He was quite a bit older than me and I thought I didn’t mind but I when we did meet and I saw his literally brown teeth I just couldn’t, he was a nice enough fella but he should have brushed his teeth and seen a dentist more frequently if he wanted female companionship. It’s the bare minimum.

It’s not about forcing people to be attracted to others…..it’s about the judgement and rudeness on this thread, and I put it to you that someone here who said that anyone over a size 12 is a lazy shit who doesn’t exercise, eat badly, and is repulsive because they don’t take care of their health, should be ashamed to be in photos, would be absolutely blasted. The large brigade would come out talking about how proud they are to be a big woman, and some would even deceive themselves by saying men prefer meat on the bones. It’s just such an incredible double standard, it’s laughable. Same goes for flat chests, being too short, and the rest. Of course not everyone is sexually attracted to everyone else. No matter how good looking someone is, not everyone is going to feel that spark with them. The same goes the other way, most people have someone out there that would put them at number one, no matter what flaws or perceived flaws they have.

As I’ve expressed, my friend, who is a beautiful woman inside and out, has morals than most women nowadays do not have, is extremely intelligent, funny and serious about life, chose not to have her jaw broken again to fix it, because there are risks and she has children, The issues she has which are ruining her teeth are due to an arsehole she loved beating her so badly that her jaw has been broken and set in the wrong place. She chooses her kids over vanity, but has more to offer than most women. She is also educated and not some lower class unhygienic druggy just because on first impressions her teeth don’t fit the standard most here say they would deem as dateable. She stopped worrying about it when she realised her options were limited. She doesn’t date, but she’s always getting asked out. I just think the posts here are awful, and wouldn’t be tolerated if it was about anything but teeth.

I'm going to look over the heightened debate on this thread!

So contextually, his teeth are yellow almost browning, crooked, broken and there are molars missing on each side with are very obvious.. I wish I could get past that but it's just attraction isn't it. It's in no way meaning that I'm judgemental of his finances or oral hygiene, it could be a result of a bad childhood or upbringing where oral hygiene wasn't taken seriously or it could be issues that emerged later on in life.. I really don't know. I couldn't exactly ask him how high up fixing his teeth are on his list of priorities without coming across as incredibly shallow.