Can you get over bad teeth when potentially dating someone?

[HulaHoopz]

I feel terrible and shallow but... I've recently reconnected with someone I used to see a lot when I was younger. Nothing ever materialised but we recently connected on social media. After exchanging a few recent photos.. he sent me one of him smiling and omg his teeth... he's missing a fair few, yellow, crooked and broken...

I always liked him and never recall him having bad teeth... but they're really noticeable and I don't want it to put me off but they do....

Is there anyway getting past bad teeth when you're dating when it's an otherwise really lovely guy who you know would treat you really well?.....

No.
But then, I don't need or want to "date" anyone anymore, so that's a bonus.

The problem is you can intellectualise it as.much as you want and feel guilty about it, but you can't make yourself attracted to someone

No.

Firstly, these examples are not analogous. Small breasts, for example, are never ever a result of poor hygiene. Bad teeth probably are.

But, secondly, both men and women absolutely have the right to not pursue relationships for whatever the hell reason they choose, however prejudice, shallow or nonsensical it may seem to others.

My friend has a genetic condition which means her teeth were very brittle and so crumbled and broke easily.

She was very self conscious of having poor teeth and her several hygiene products as better than most peoples but it made no difference. Her sister and brother both have same condition.

She made the decision to have her top teeth removed in her 30’s. She has always been honest with any men she meets about having false teeth. Some have been put off, others have accepted it. She’s never let anyone see her without them though and she had to have them refitted every 5 years or so as she ages.

So it’s not as simple as it just mean poor hygiene. Some people just get unlucky in
the genetic lottery

Not necessarily. Fine not to want to date someone with bad teeth but judging their lifestyle or choices without further information is ill informed

i went on a date with the loveliest guy but he had the worst teeth recession I’ve ever seen. My friends all thought I was shallow. But even the horror pictures I googled to give examples of similar teeth weren’t as bad as his. Honestly OP YANBU. We all have our “things” we can’t get past. Mine is definitely teeth / poor dental hygiene and I don’t think that’s weird tbh.

I’m glad people have responded this way, as now you can’t moan when a man says he’d be put off by someone flat chested, or someone fat, or with a big nose. Because these would be legitimate repulsion’s to him, and nothing shallow whatsoever, because who wants to grab handfuls of fat when they are horny, or play with non existent breasts? For those who want to jump in saying those things can’t be changed, what does that matter? How is that a legitimate point? Besides that, they can be changed, but often someone doesn’t have the willpower, or the money, to change them. Everyone is attractive to someone. Bad teeth can be a result of many different things, from genetics, to trauma to the mouth, smoking, poor hygiene. Judge not lest ye be judged

What an absurd post. Why have you shoved a hypothetical man into the conversation?

And that’s the reality. There’s things that we don’t find attractive in someone that we can’t get past. And it’s our absolute responsibility got to say no to a potential partner fur whatever reason we choose.

Ive met men before that I’ve liked but there’s but one little thing that’s stopped me feeling attraction. We can’t help that instinct

Genetically, and thanks to a dentist physically abusing me as a child, I have ended up with crooked teeth, which does make me very self conscious (I never smile with my teeth, and cover my mouth when I laugh). However, in 2022, I managed to get past the trauma and I’ve been going to the dentist every 4 months for regular cleans (genetics make me predisposed to build up faster than the norm), and to the dentist twice a year. I hate it, but I do it, because it’s best for my health. I don’t have any missing teeth, and while my teeth aren’t sparkling white, they’re not discolored either.

I’m not saying this to suggest that he doesn’t go to the dentist (though it would be an educated guess to assume he doesn’t) or that I’m superior, I’m saying this to give backstory to when I add that my dental work has cost me thousands overtime. I had to go private because staying with a public dentist would have taken forever to get my teeth healthy again. And not everyone can afford to go private, leading to situations like this on occasion. €80 cleanings, €55 examinations, €800 wisdom teeth extractions, etc, etc. It’s a lot for a lot of people, and while I’m able to afford it, I recognize that many could not

You have every right to not be attracted to him, and it doesn’t matter why that is. It’s ultimately your preference. But to the people judging this man without knowing his situation, please remember that people often have reasons behind ending up like this. No one wakes up one day and decides they’d like to have dirty & decaying teeth

Wonky, patched up teeth - fine.

Missing - possibly. My son is missing one due to a bike crash. His bridge keeps on falling out and he doesn't always rush to the dentist to have it glued back in.

Dirty and unbrushed - nope!

No, I couldn't.

My teeth are in pretty good health and very well cared for, but to keep them that way I have teeth whitening once a year and 4 visits to the hygienist. This costs about £600pa. The plaque build up starts within a week or two of the last hygienist visit no matter how much brushing and flossing I do - believe me I'd love to be able to go less frequently if it was just a matter of hygiene.

I dread to think what they'd be like if I couldn't afford £600 pa on my teeth before anything goes wrong

Decent teeth and feet are my non-negotiables

Crooked and missing I could live with (I have crossed over front teeth as have all my siblings and my dad so I can't judge!). Missing one or two I wouldn't be bothered about, DH is missing the one next to his front teeth (lateral incisor?) due to an accident and we can't justify the money it'd take to get an implant or bridge - I think it makes him look like a sexy rakish pirate anyway 🤣.

Properly rotting, yellowed or multiple teeth missing due to poor oral hygiene or drugs would be a hard no. Although tbh I would also be a hard no to those awful bright white veneers so many people seem to have - but that's probably cos it's indicative of very different outlooks/priorities in life!

Yellow teeth don’t always mean poor hygiene, mine aren’t very white because I used to drink loads of black coffee 😂 whoops!

Crooked would be fine.

Anything that suggests a lack of dental hygiene, no.

No, I couldn’t poor oral hygiene is a big factor for me and a major turn off.

I don't see why it's 'shallow' to not want to kiss someone with revolting teeth, or any other unattractive feature to be perfectly honest.

Well it’s rather academic for me as I’ve been married a very long time, but I do tend to think less of people who haven’t looked after their teeth. I wouldn’t expect a Rylan-like row of choppers but certainly not missing front teeth and general lack of oral hygiene.

As someone who has all my own teeth albeit slightly out of line which has affected me my whole life (braces were offered but parent turned them down as we had to pay for some reason and we lived in poverty~ 1994). Teeth are an issue for me. Idk i could kiss someone with obvious signs of poor dental hygiene. I clean mine twice a day etc. however, i find turkey teef hilarious (colour, obviously fake looking, too big for the face). Idk i guess as you get older these are the issues you face

Judging someone on the reasons why a body part looks the way it does, is even worse than just naturally not being able to be attracted to a certain body type. You can’t control not being attracted to someone who isn’t sexually attractive to you, whether that be their features, or weight or their teeth, or their breasts, but you can control being a judgemental prick regarding the reasons for it.

You cannot qualify the poor hygiene thing in every case, much the same as you can’t say “who ate all the pies” to every fat person, and I’m sure there would be outrage on this forum to say size 14 women are sexually repulsive because they should work out and stop stuffing food in their gob. Think on that.

Sure someone can find them sexually not to their liking, repulsive even, but to decide that they are that way because they are gluttons is the equivalent of deciding someone has bad because they have poor hygeine.

sometimes small breasts are a result on someone not eating properly and being too thin, so you can’t say in every case it’s not down to life choices

Oh fgs, we aren't all robots driven by ai. We all have things that we find aesthetically pleasing and that's fine and human.

No. It's one of the few things I'm a right stickler about. Bad teeth is a huge no go in a partner.

Exactly, hence my point that fat girls (even if they don’t consider themselves fat) should suck it up when they are called repulsive and gluttonous, and either accept it, feel it’s unfair because they have some kind of medical problem, or do something about it. Same goes for every other perceived flaw. It’s not like everyone else is untouchable apart from people with bad teeth, and that someone thinking someone else is sexually repulsive is some kind of crime. Also you shouldn’t judge anyone for judging people with other flaws for being unhealthy in some way. Gluttony ot starving yourself is just as repulsive as poor hygiene anyway. I wonder how many commenting on here would have a flaw that others might find sexually repulsive? Imagine this thread was about size 14 women, with similar responses to those on here?