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Original poster

Small things that have given you the ick when online dating

356 replies

idontknkowwhyibother · 21/10/2024 12:47

Does anyone else fancy a laugh about the traumas of online dating (lighthearted) and that feeling of getting the ick mid-date?

I had a really silly one recently where I went on a third date with someone. I was already in the minds about him.

Anyway, we'd done an activity then went to get food afterwards and it was ordered on screens. The previous date I had paid and so it was already agreed that he was buying me lunch.

All good.

So, we got to the bit where the screens to order food were. I'm used to doing this in McDonald's for my kids 🤣 and always usher them to go ahead and put their food order in. So I suppose unconsciously I was expecting him to let me go first?

What he actually did was RUSH to the machine ahead, of me JAB in his order so hard he nearly broke the machine and just kind of....stood there. I sort of waited for him to offer me the screen and he didn't say anything. So I silently put my order in.

It seems such a small thing, and it is a small thing. But it took me back to being a child ans having a sibling who will rush to get on the swings before you 🤣

Thankfully I never slept with him but I can imagine how it would have gone.

Has anyone else got the ick from something as petty or is it just me?!

OP posts:
FormerlySpeckledyHen · 22/10/2024 08:55

It’s a miracle that anyone ever finds a partner!

Andoutcomethewolves · 22/10/2024 09:08

oakleaffy · 21/10/2024 22:46

I don't need to even click on this video...''I'm a dickhead!!'''....I remember the lyrics!

''London fields'' {I lived In one of the Georgian houses on Lansdowne Drive, London Fields before they were trendy!}

Show quote history

But did you have new age fun with a vintage feel?? 🤣

Bullaun · 22/10/2024 09:11

Harrumphhhh · 22/10/2024 07:31

The first thing I did when I woke up was to open this thread. You didn’t disappoint! (The men did though, obviously)

A few I remembered:

  • ‘mmmmm’ after most mouthfuls while eating.
  • if he was leaving the house before me, he’d lay the coffee out for me, with label facing the ‘right’ way, mug and tea spoon laid out neatly etc. He didn’t same for the bathroom - toothpaste on my toothbrush etc. it felt so infantilising.
  • Journaled

Did you go out with King Charles’ valet???

Andoutcomethewolves · 22/10/2024 09:12

@Squigface I feel kind of sorry for the prawn water guy, clearly he had never eaten prawns out before! It's making me think of Rimmer sending back the gazpacho soup for being cold in Red Dwarf 🤣

Healingsfall · 22/10/2024 09:22

I was kissing a guy and things were leading to "more" when he suddenly made this growling noise, like he was some kind of bear who was pleased to be getting his lunch! I got the ick instantly and made my excuses to leave!

Original poster
idontknkowwhyibother · 22/10/2024 09:51

Healingsfall · 22/10/2024 09:22

I was kissing a guy and things were leading to "more" when he suddenly made this growling noise, like he was some kind of bear who was pleased to be getting his lunch! I got the ick instantly and made my excuses to leave!

🤢

OP posts:
holrosea · 22/10/2024 11:02

I recently met a guy OLD who I liked - we had a drink and agreed to get lunch the following weekend. Had lunch, walked around a nice little town whose history he knew, linked arms under the umbrella. So far, so good.

He invited me to have tea at his house and I agreed. We had tea and continued chatting until he said something about not having done his shopping yet. I replied, "let me finish my tea and I'll get out of your hair" and he reassured me, "no, no, I didn't mean that at all".

Until 10 minutes later when he said, "Actually I'm very tired and I need to do my shopping, so I don't want to kick you out, but... could you?".

There is a high chance that this man is ND, so it took me a bit of time but I realised that this was not about me, he probably really was tired. He continued to check in and chat as if nothing had happened, so I suggested meeting this weekend for a walk in a nature reserve.

I turned up on time and sent him my parking location as he was running a little late. He went to the wrong car park, left that car park before I could walk to him, and left me a voice note saying it was all "too complicated" and that he's on his way home. Leaving me stood like a lemon.

Kerkyra2024 · 22/10/2024 11:03

I know this is for mainly new dates but my ex gave me a few icks when we were together (7 and a half years looking back I think I mainly only stayed so long as I was very close friends with his sister).
When kissing there were a few occasions he full on spat in my mouth 🤮
Whenever he wanted sex he'd always ask 'wanna do it?' regardless if anyone was around
He preferred me to stay as still as possible during sex
No foreplay whatsoever
Repeatedly state he'd fuck my mum if he'd have a chance
Repeatedly ask me if he'd be able to fuck women that were on those 'real housewives' shows

24CRZZNKKA · 22/10/2024 11:08

The pigeon one is my favourite 😁

Firstshoes · 22/10/2024 11:14

LordBummenbachsMagnificentBalls · 21/10/2024 19:28

Many years ago I went on a blind date set up by a colleague, obviously didn’t have high hopes but gave it a shot. When I arrived he was already sitting down and was actually quite attractive. The conversation was going well and we had an okay time (bar the odd comment about his ex being a psycho, which I know is a red flag).

At the end of the evening he offered to walk me to my car, we stood up and he pulled on his coat: a calf length, white, puffy insulated jacket with horizontal stitching. He zipped it all the way up and all I could think was that he looked like a giant maggot. As he was walking he had to shuffle his legs a bit inside the coat because it was so long and quite tight, so he waddled a bit as he walked, I don’t know how I managed not to laugh but it really gave me such a massive ick walking alongside the big shuffly maggot man

GrinGrin

apostrophewoman · 22/10/2024 11:34

Kerkyra2024 · 22/10/2024 11:03

I know this is for mainly new dates but my ex gave me a few icks when we were together (7 and a half years looking back I think I mainly only stayed so long as I was very close friends with his sister).
When kissing there were a few occasions he full on spat in my mouth 🤮
Whenever he wanted sex he'd always ask 'wanna do it?' regardless if anyone was around
He preferred me to stay as still as possible during sex
No foreplay whatsoever
Repeatedly state he'd fuck my mum if he'd have a chance
Repeatedly ask me if he'd be able to fuck women that were on those 'real housewives' shows

😮

Gracelet · 22/10/2024 11:53

We'd been together about three months, went to Spain and upon arrival he asked me to shave his very hairy back 🤮

Elektra1 · 22/10/2024 11:55

Purpleraiin · 21/10/2024 17:34

He used my toilet and was in there for around 10 mins but he never flushed which I thought was odd. 15 mins later he's asking to use the loo again, and again stayed in there for around 10 mins and left without flushing. I made my excuses and got rid of him then went to check the toilet.

The toilet bowl was filled with toilet paper, no sign of wee or poo, but what I can only describe and assume to be cum all around the toilet seat.....I have no other explanation, and no idea why unless he gets some weird kick out of it, but he was blocked that night. He found me on Instagram a couple weeks later and started sending me weird reels about being heartbroken, ignored, nice guys finishing last.
He's is now known as toilet wanker amongst me and my friends.

This is amazing. "Toilet wanker"! Who does that??!!

You were obviously too exciting for him.

Pinkchicken75 · 22/10/2024 11:55

@LordBummenbachsMagnificentBalls I was thinking EAST 17 😂

Gracelet · 22/10/2024 12:29

Ooh, another one - referred to his parents as 'the rents'. Like he was in some godawful American teen movie. He was 30 years old.

Stradlater · 22/10/2024 12:47

These are absolutely hilarious 🤣
I’m never complaining about my DH ever again!

PumaKinPie · 22/10/2024 13:15

On a date at the cinema I went to the toilet. Bloke said he'd come with me and waited right outside the ladies loos (?!). I think he thought I was going to sneak off home. Instant ick for being creepy and insecure. Luckily, watching the rest of the film meant I didn't have to talk to or even look at him much again😁

I was 'double icked' in quick succession by a rather dim boyfriend. He thought that medical advancements meant they could now do a C section with keyhole surgery. I said, I was fairly sure they still had to cut a hole big enough to get the baby out. He was shocked....

Same bloke didn't know that the toe post on flip flops was supposed to go between the big toe and the next one. He'd been wearing them between toes number 2 and 3 up to that point. There are no words......

Ladies, the lesser known 'double ick' may catch you at a weak point. In fact, if you're not careful the latter ick may neutralise the former ick. Do not second guess yourself. Your first instincts are correct. Both the first and second events are legitimate icks and you must take action accordingly. This is a code red. Stay low and move fast. This is a non recoverable situation.

idrinkandiknowthings · 22/10/2024 13:29

Met up with a guy I'd hooked up with online. He'd taken my "don't mind the dishevelled look" comment very seriously and was wearing a grubby t-shirt with a crumpled plaid shirt, shorts and Jesus sandals with socks. I gave it less than an hour before I made my excuses to leave. He started crying.

Preparing to do the deed with another online guy and he appeared in the bedroom with a folded towel for me to lie on so I didn't "wet the new sheets".

He then proceeded to tell me, mid-flow, that I was "fine down there considering (I'd) had a kid".

I gave up OLD and men full-stop after that.

CeffylCoch · 22/10/2024 13:47

A guy who when he ate it was like a starving wolf having its first meal of a week. I couldn’t even look at this when it happened
This made me laugh so much! 😂

idrinkandiknowthings · 22/10/2024 13:52

Idontjetwashthefucker · 22/10/2024 07:14

First time having sex, about to get down to it and he says "I can't wait to get my tongue on your giggling pin".

I can only presume he meant clitoris but I wasn't waiting to fond out. Instant ick

😂😂😂

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 22/10/2024 15:40

TwistedWonder · 21/10/2024 20:15

I had that! A man who insisted he was 5’11 despite actually being no more than 5’8 and telling me I must be taller than I think because he’s definitely 5’11 - and even says ‘when was last time you got measured, you must have grown’

Yep growth spurts in your 50’s are a known phenomenon

Show quote history

I would never have thought that there could be more than one of these type of men out there - sigh...

Lonelylonelylonely · 22/10/2024 16:06

GlowingGlower · 21/10/2024 16:52

I went on a date with a dude who wore odd socks. Instant ick 😂
I couldn't quite fathom it at the time but I had just had an instant "Nope, I've lost interest" feeling.
I've analysed it extensively with friends since and I think its because I felt it indicated either:
(a) Lack of care
(b) Disorganisation
(c) Lack of domestic skills
(d) Him trying to be zany

Either way, nope.

Did his name begin with an A by any chance?

benid · 22/10/2024 16:23

Whatadayyyyyyy · 21/10/2024 18:20

He tried to chase a pigeon away but it didn't work

😂

benid · 22/10/2024 16:35

Oh, the one that suggested we use a sex toy he had found on the golf course. Blech.
I have just actually laughed out loud in horror at this 😮

RenoDakota · 22/10/2024 16:56

PumaKinPie · 22/10/2024 13:15

On a date at the cinema I went to the toilet. Bloke said he'd come with me and waited right outside the ladies loos (?!). I think he thought I was going to sneak off home. Instant ick for being creepy and insecure. Luckily, watching the rest of the film meant I didn't have to talk to or even look at him much again😁

I was 'double icked' in quick succession by a rather dim boyfriend. He thought that medical advancements meant they could now do a C section with keyhole surgery. I said, I was fairly sure they still had to cut a hole big enough to get the baby out. He was shocked....

Same bloke didn't know that the toe post on flip flops was supposed to go between the big toe and the next one. He'd been wearing them between toes number 2 and 3 up to that point. There are no words......

Ladies, the lesser known 'double ick' may catch you at a weak point. In fact, if you're not careful the latter ick may neutralise the former ick. Do not second guess yourself. Your first instincts are correct. Both the first and second events are legitimate icks and you must take action accordingly. This is a code red. Stay low and move fast. This is a non recoverable situation.

I love this whole thread but love this post the most. The sage advice 😄