My boyfriend always asks to borrow money

[Peaches2677]

Me and my boyfriend are both 30.
I have my own place that I live in with our daughter (7 months old)

Me and boyfriend have never lived together. He still lives at home with his mother and 2 siblings.

Hes always in and out of jobs. He will have a job for a good few months then will lose it. He currently is out of work at the mmoment which means I'm getting no child maintenence off him. But not just that he's asked to borrow money a few times in the last 2 weeks. He currently owes me £60 because I've given in and lent him money.

He said the money is for food as his mother has been having ago at him about the amount of food he's eating and not paying her anything towards rent/bills etc. Which is completely understandable

I dont know what to think at the moment. This isn't even a question I guess I just needed to vent. I mean this has been going on since before having a baby and it's not making me want a future with him at all.

I think it does make sense to plan for a future where you're not relying on him - that's a good instinct.

So he should be paying you money for child maintenance but instead he wants money off you? No way! I wouldn't give him a penny.

Stop giving him money. He's taking from you and ultimately your child. It's not your problem. And ditch him

it's not making me want a future with him at all.

That's a good feeling to have. Just end it. Apply through the courts for proper maintenance.

So hrs a 30 year old father who lives with his mum and not only can’t support his own child, he’s borrowing money from you which could be spent on your child.

No I wouldn’t be tolerating this. Dont lend him anything else and plan for a future without him as anything other than a co patent

The money he wants from you is the money you should be spending on you and your child. Think about that. You work for your money. Your child deserves a lovely childhood. Your boyfriend can't keep a job and is eating his mother out of house and home.

Dump him!

At 30 he is unlikely to change. He is a fully grown man but obviously never managed to develop responsibility. If having a baby didn't make him responsible nothing will.

Does he have addiction issues? Why does he lose jobs?

Why is he losing the jobs?

Real men hustle to support their families. Whatever it takes. This person is an unreliable loser. Sorry.

And OP please resist letting this man move in with you. He’s definitely giving out potential cocklodger vibes that would get worse with his feet under the table

What do you see in him ?

He's mooching off his mother, he's mooching off you. He's a 30 year old man with a child!

He should be ashamed of himself.

Dump him and just co-parent.

You need to spend your money on yourself and your child!!
Do not give him any more money - he can't even pay his own way in life, let alone support a child 😣

I don’t know how you’ve not got the signficant ick. The man’s a father and he’s not only not contributing he’s his hand out.

Why does he keep losing jobs? Never give him money again. You’re going to have to be strong for your child. He won’t.

DON'T LEND HIM ANYMORE MONEY.

hope that's loud enough for you. If he can't support his child why should you support him.

I never understand why people say they are in a relationship with someone and have a child with them but don't live together? That's not a relationship

You and your child are your priority. He is an adult that should be able to support himself but he can't even manage that while living at home, he's a disgrace, he should be supporting you not the other way round.

This. What does he bring to the relationship?

What exactly is the point of the cocklodging scrounger?
Just fuck him off op he will keep hitting you up and relying on his mum, you and eventually your poor DD for handouts.

You don't live with him, he doesn't work for you, you owe him nowt.

Of course it's a relationship.

It's a bloody good job OP doesn't live with this one.

I read the same sort of thread a week ago, is there another one of these useless men around.

So many questions…! Why have a baby with him if you knew he was like this before?

Was it you, who didn’t want him living with you and his child? And doesn’t he think you should prioritise your money for the baby, not giving it to him, a big baby living at home, while you’re doing the bulk of the child raising?

Why does he not stick at a job?

Please get rid, why would you even question that he shouldn’t be in your future plans!! He’s not a supportive partner OP come on. You can do so much better.

Taking money that could be spent on your baby? No way Jose.

Isn’t this what the kids call a wasteman??

You knew he was like this and still had a child with him? Why are you giving him money? Why are you even with him?

He can't hold down a job, he lives with his mum and he's scrounging money off you and by extension his child. He really doesn't sound like much of a catch. If your child lives with you, he should be giving you money, not the other way round.