My boyfriend always asks to borrow money

[Peaches2677]

Me and my boyfriend are both 30.
I have my own place that I live in with our daughter (7 months old)

Me and boyfriend have never lived together. He still lives at home with his mother and 2 siblings.

Hes always in and out of jobs. He will have a job for a good few months then will lose it. He currently is out of work at the mmoment which means I'm getting no child maintenence off him. But not just that he's asked to borrow money a few times in the last 2 weeks. He currently owes me £60 because I've given in and lent him money.

He said the money is for food as his mother has been having ago at him about the amount of food he's eating and not paying her anything towards rent/bills etc. Which is completely understandable

I dont know what to think at the moment. This isn't even a question I guess I just needed to vent. I mean this has been going on since before having a baby and it's not making me want a future with him at all.

Oh love. Please get rid of this ridiculous man child. Sending hugs

What on earth are you doing OP ?
You had a baby with a lazy deadbeat guy who sponges off you , his mother and everyone daft enough to give him money.

Stop sleeping with him and kick his lazy ass out of your life.

You need to be a positive example to your child not a gullible mug.

So he’s unemployed, doesn’t pay child maintenance, and expects to be funded by Mummy and Baby Mama?

FgS what is the point of him? Why are you wasting any time at all on thus useless wanker?

And WTF possessed you to have a child with him?????

So his mum is sick of him and making a stand and your undermining her.
Sorry X I need to feed our child I'm struggling.
If he was legitimately out of work he would get benefit he obviously keeps getting the sack or leaves why support this shit?

Run.
He sounds a complete loser.
He has a child and still lives with his mother ?

Red flag a go go.

Nailed it.

Basically he is taking money from your child and giving it to his mum for his keep. While you are subsidising him he is not motivated to keep a job.

You don't have to live with your partner for it to be a relationship

Picked a corker to reproduce with here didn't you! Tell him to do one and don't let him move in with you. Got yourself a grade A cocklodger here.

He should be giving you money for your child, instead you are giving him money. This is not on. Stop it now, When he asks you for money - ask him. List the things your child needs. Your child should be your priority, not this man child. He should be ashamed of himself and should start providing..

But you do have a future with him. You have a child with him

So effectively you're paying child maintenance for a man child.

All I can conclude is he must be bloody good in bed it's the only possible conclusion because he is seriously lacking in everything else.

No man behaves like this.

I'm not sure he even deserves to be called a father.

Don't give him money. He needs to stop free loading, develop some pride and get down to work

Thank god you haven’t married him or bought a house with him. Dump him. He’s a waste of space.

You have (temporarily) saddled yourself with an utter loser who won't knuckle down and keep a job to support his child, lives off his mother and now, off you.

A useless sponging manchild.

He is Never. Going. To change.

Thankfully you aren't married or stuck with a mortgage or joint rent.

Please stop giving your child the impression that this how relationships and parenting work.

Go to CSA and find out about your rights.

HE should be contributing to YOU and sharing the cost of child rearing.

Not have you bearing the cost of man rearing.

https://www.gov.uk/child-maintenance-service

You and his mum are both enabling him to be a twat, almost training him to be one.

Stop.

In some ways you are lucky you don't live together

Look at how he treats his mum, no rent, no food money, nothing but take take. His mother's life will be your life if you let him live with you.

You're stuck with co-parenting with this useless lump now but keep it at that OP.

Do not let him move in.
Say I don't have any spare money.

And dump him as a partner.

He's a loser, you are not! Get rid! This is not a proper relationship.

Time to establish some boundaries for your daughter's sake if not your own

it's not making me want a future with him at all

You don't even have a 'present' with him though?

He doesn't live with you and can't support his child.
He borrows your money and doesn't pay it back.

There is no future.

Jeez OP - he really is a waste of space. So instead of paying you child support for his child, he is instead borrowing from you. He needs to get his act together and you need to learn how to say the word NO.

He's not 'borrowing ' money.

He's take take taking it.

Away from you and your child.

The more times you do it the more used to it you'll both get and the harder to get out of this destructive habit.

Learn NO.

I do understand what the poster is saying though. Yeh you don’t have to live together to have a relationship but when you decide to have a baby together it’s usually because you want to build a life together and start a family, and families tend to live together.

Going off what we know they probably don’t live together for financial reasons

Why have a baby with such a lowlife . Not taking care of his child , not paying his mum rent / food . How do you think having a child with someone who can't hold a job would ever end well .