My boyfriend always asks to borrow money

[Peaches2677]

Me and my boyfriend are both 30.
I have my own place that I live in with our daughter (7 months old)

Me and boyfriend have never lived together. He still lives at home with his mother and 2 siblings.

Hes always in and out of jobs. He will have a job for a good few months then will lose it. He currently is out of work at the mmoment which means I'm getting no child maintenence off him. But not just that he's asked to borrow money a few times in the last 2 weeks. He currently owes me £60 because I've given in and lent him money.

He said the money is for food as his mother has been having ago at him about the amount of food he's eating and not paying her anything towards rent/bills etc. Which is completely understandable

I dont know what to think at the moment. This isn't even a question I guess I just needed to vent. I mean this has been going on since before having a baby and it's not making me want a future with him at all.

And you thought having a child with this man baby was a good idea why?

Have you posted about this pathetic loser of a manchild before?

For crying out loud, just dump the useless twat.

He's a lazy scrounging loser.
At 30, he's still acting like he's 16.
Do NOT lend/ give him another penny
He is taking money from his DC via you and giving it to his Mother FFS
Claim Child support through the official channels.
Do not, under any circumstances let him move in with you to play happy families
I'd put money on this being his next move.

What an utter waster you have chosen to procreate with.
Your poor child.
Cut this loser off.

What made you decide to,procreate with a bloke approaching 30 who lives with mummy and daddy and can’t hold down a job, asks you for pocket money. Af what point did you think that was a sound plan?

Yep it's reasonable that his mother wants money. Nope it's completely unreasonable that you are the source of that money

Omg I'm so glad someone else said it. I know of a set up like this.
I think it's lack of planning, some men who like to meet women who already have kids got housing even if it's private renting, on benefits. Weren't living together before hand, and obviously didn't organise doing so since having a child.
And to top it off 🤦‍♀️😂 he's got two from previous, got a court order to see his, nowhere to keep the kids over night, so yes you guessed it, he has them at his gf's house when it's his time to have contact.

And when they go back to their mother he twaddles back to where he lives.
The only difference between him to the man mentioned in this thread, and some others, is that he works full time, does quite well for himself always got work.

In the past he even used to leave his kids with his gf so he could go to work bless him, during his contact time 😆 that he went to court for.

say No

He should be claiming unemployment money/UC and paying you maintenance and paying the rest to his Mum towards food. It might motivate him to get another job.

It’s not. It’s been a shag, and is now someone trying to scrounge from their co-parent.🙄

Stop it right now. This will continue and get worse and worse until you're way worse off than he is. I know this because I was you a few years ago & now I'm backed into a corner.
Best of luck x

It depends. I know someone who was with her partner for 17 years and had 2 kids and they never actually lived together full time.

It suited them both. She owned her home, he had a council place he didn’t want to give up the tenancy so they kept their on places and went between the 2

And numerous women prepared to not only have a relationship but a child with such men.

Get rid

He's not supporting his child or you. He can't be arsed to keep a job and you are depriving yourself and your child by giving him money he's never going to pay back. Why on earth are you with this waste of space- He's taking you for a mug.

Yes

Yes this is what we call a deadbeat waste man

don’t worry though I have been through this too was with a man ( thankfully had no child with him ) who constantly asked for money when I added it up over the year I was shocked to see it had amounted to over £900
what a damn fool I was- feel lucky yours is only £60
he’s living at home for free probably gets universal credit has his mum cook and clean for him like he’s 12 still and she provides food whilst you have to pay to feed yourself baby your rent and bills
tell him moving forward you aren’t able to give him anymore money . Is he even really in a relationship with you? I would also consider dumping a useless 30 year old with no prospects money or shame
most men would rather cut their own balls off then ask their partner - esp one who’s just had their baby for money
and I also suspect you are minimising the amount you’ve given him

By giving him money, you’re enabling him. So sorry to say, you’re complicit in this problem.

Next time, refuse, saying you need the money due food, heating, bills, clothes for the baby etc. if he gets angst, so be in. Sorry to say, no great loss.

If this has been going on since before you had a kid with him then why in Gods name would you have a kid with this loser?! You now have a child that has to be supported just by you as you already know you aren't gonna get diddly squat from him as he has no job,on top of that you give him money! 🙄Stop giving him money, stop expecting anything from him voluntarily, go down child support agency route and let them deal with it and get on with your life with out him.

This man is not dad or partner material. He’s a loser, still living with mum, unemployed and sponging money from you. Pretty low behaviour.

I initially thought we were talking about a teen boy who'd got a girl pregnant, until I saw his age.

This is what's known as a 'failure to launch', which comes from the rocket industry - and here means a grown man whose natural instinct to get out there, to make his way in the world, to become an adult, has not happened.

And now he has not one but two mummies doing his laundry, giving him pocket money. A double dose of women enabling him to stay infantilised.

No, I'm not saying this is your fault. I'm saying you've been drawn into this unhealthy dynamic he has with his own mother.

The fact there's a baby has failed to kickstart any fatherly instinct to create a home together with you, or to provide.

There's four billion men on the planet. This one's a dud.

Some people are good at manipulating others to get the focus onto their needs. He is one of these people.

At 30 he would rather live with his mummy and be jobless rather than live with you and provide for his child? What even is this? He would rather take money from you/his child that stay in a job?
get rid!!!!! What is he bringing to your life?
apply properly to CMS, when he’s in jobs they’ll make sure he pays on his NI number.

If he's not supporting his child but you are allowing him to take money from you that should go towards her needs then he's a failure as a father and a failure as a boyfriend. If you allow this to continue then you are failing both your child and yourself.
Cut your losses and save yourself some money and some heartache.

He's a loser. You can do so much better than him. Bin him.