Sulking or am I in the wrong?

[CM97]

So I've been dating someone after meeting on line for 3 months now... messaged for a month before that but he was away with work so we didn't meet for a month. We live 2 hours apart and are both busy. Dates have been sporadic which kind of suited me initially. His daughter was moving to Australia for 2 years, and he wanted to spend time with her which I completely understood so I waited. However, she left, he had to go away for work for 10 days and then returned. We saw each other last weekend and this week he was came to my home town for work.

He suggested meeting after his work dinner on the Tuesday but it was going to be after 10 pm and I had work the next day so said let's meet on the Wednesday. Anyway - long story short but we didn't meet because his work don't go well and he wanted to get back home.

He's been really busy so we hadn't spoken all week, yesterday I messaged to say what's happened/why has he been distant etc? No response initially which is unusual for him.

Then he replied and said my texts were not what he was expecting and we'd talk later.

Then later, he said my messages have thrown him and he needs time to process. I said fine, does he want me to explain etc, he said no he is tired.

So I think about it, and this morning I text and say that I need more than meeting for dinner and a night together in a hotel every 3-6 weeks, (He's def not married, I've been to his house), and he's seen my message but not replied.

Surely this doesn't need thinking about, either he wants to date me or he doesn't? Why the silent treatment?

You can think over it but at the end of the day actions are everything. He has either lost interest, meet someone or just wasn’t that into you.

If a man wants you they’ll let you know. They don’t ignore you for days or leave things many weeks between meeting.

Id let it go if it comes round all of a sudden it will because his plans have fell through with someone else he’s chasing and you don’t want that. He sounds terrible at communicating too which that issue with men never really gets better.

What the PP said.

Oh and the silent treatment is used by men who can’t communicate be honest or test the boundaries of what you’ll put up with. It’s never justified.

There are men out there that can talk things over with you and wouldn’t leave you in limbo not knowing what’s going on.

This is him trying to create distance as for whatever reason it isn't working for him. That could be the distance, could be someone else on the scene, who knows. Sounds like there was a lot of challenges against this developing into a serious relationship. Given the distance unless there is 100% commitment then it isn't going to work.

He clearly doesn't want to spend any more time with you. Whether that's because he's got too much on at work, whether he's seeing other people, who knows?
But I'd say you're best off saying sayonara.

He's a waste of time. Do not contact him further and move on with your life. There are plenty more men out there who won't mess about like this one has done.

Would suggest you meet up with a man soon after contacting him; not meeting them straight away can also build up a false picture in your head.

Sorry, but I don't think he's tat interested. He might have met someone who lives nearer to him, but either way, the "relationship" isn't going anywhere.

Where did "tat" come from?? I meant he's not THAT interested

He couldn't be bothered seeing you when he was in the same town as you, block, delete and move on.

Sounds like he just wanted a shag on Tuesday and sees you as a occasional hook-up.

He’s not interested in a relationship but keeping you on side for an occasional shag and it does sound like he’s probably got others on the go as well.

Quite frankly you’re wasting your time and energy on this one.

He is saying loud and clear that he doesn't see this as any more than casually seeing each other. If you want more, then this is not the guy for you.

I'd reckon that he's just not that interested. And is enjoying having you hanging around - or that it suits until it becomes too much effort like now.

Yep I think you're all right. I've mentioned it the lack of dates a couple of times before and he's said he's bad at planning but bear with him because it will be worth it!! It's not going anywhere is it? He's 55 and I'm 53 if it makes any difference. We are both ridiculously busy but if, on receiving a text saying "its not working as it is and I need more, please think about it and let me know", he should have replied with something.

Cut your losses and end it. He's not going to be reliable and it's not fair to you.

His lack of reply says everything you need to know. He doesn’t want a relationship by the sounds of it, just something casual and convenient when he’s in your area. He’s probably got other casual and convenient acquaintances all over the place. You say you’re dating, have you actually had a discussion that you’re exclusive? Because three months is quite quick to have that kind of understanding. I think if you want a relationship he’s not the one for you.

I certainly wouldn't be sending any more messages. Leave him to his 'processing'.

Yep we have had a discussion about being exclusive and agreed it was what we both wanted. You are all probably right, it's isn't going to go anywhere. Not sure how to end it - my text offered him time to think it over, so feels a bit harsh to now come back and say "you haven't bothered to reply which says everything that I need to know".

I'm not the "processing" sort though. I'd rather have a discussion and move on.

I’d wait and see if he replies and then tell him it’s not working for you.

Certainly don’t send him any more messages after he’s not responded to your last one

Would you just do this? No explanation, just block him?

Yes! Why give him any more time? He doesn’t respect yours does he.

How do you end it? It’s already ended. Just block him and move on with your life. There’s no need to message him ever again. Next!

Yes. Why wouldn't you? He's shown you he couldn't care less. Move on.

What makes you say it's already ended?