Would you include a one night stand in your body count, if you wouldn't why not

[PerkyKoala]

So I recently hooked up with a friend, it ended up being a one night stand despite us having been flirting for months. We had worked together at the same job which I had left before we hooked up.
Whilst we ended on okay terms and said we were still friends, I recently found out from a mutual friend that during discussion about body counts, the guy said that he ‘doesnt include people that he’s slept with from ‘our place of work’ as they dont count’. my friend knows we hooked up so was quite shocked that he had said this as she knew this included me
Whilst a part of me thinks he said this to avoid any futher questions about who he’d gotten with from work, another part of me thinks he said because he genuinely doesn't include our hook up as having slept with me or thinks its worth including.
I personally would include it in mine, I would name any names, but he would be an additional number, and so do feel a bit hurt that he didn't appear to think the same.
just wondered what peoples thoughts are on this, is not including a one night stand in your body count normal?

I didn't know I should have been counting...

If you seriously think women never use misogynistic language, you must be an internet virgin.

I know it doesn't count. I just made a comment that I know some people will relate to.

People can count if they want. Mine is less than 2 hands so I think it would be more weird if I didn't know the figure.

And I never said anything about people devaluing with each sexual encounter either! You're the one assigning meaning to the 'count' that other people aren't.

Fucking hell, the double standards on this thread.

You really are making yourself look like a bunch of dicks, it's embarrassing.

Simultaneously having a go at the OP for using a misogynistic term, while belittling her for having lots of sex or counting who she's had sex with isn't exactly fucking sisterly, is it? It's sanctimonious bullshit, getting your jollies out of putting the boot in. Pathetic.

Anyway, back to the OP's question, I really wouldn't worry too much what this bloke says, he sounds like a prick. I would imagine he doesn't count people he's had a one night stand with because he doesn't want to admit how many people he's actually slept with, and so he justifies to himself a way to cut the numbers down. It's not a slight on you, it's an insight into how his mind works, he doesn't value the truth but lies to make things appear better. I'd just remember not to trust anything he says in future!

Body count is a disgusting term.

Just how many people has he slept with that he has to exclude whole groups, how unpleasant.

He does apparently have a reputation for getting with girls from work, his ex is also the owners daughter 😣

I think language around sex matters.

We have gone from ‘chat up’ to ‘hit on’, and from ‘sleep with, shag etc etc ‘ to ‘smash’ and now counting people you have slept with as your ‘body count’.

This is hugely dehumanising and, in my opinion, misogynistic, although I know women use the terms to. They were invented by men and seem quite aggressive and forceful to me.

If you add this to violent porn being normalised, it is no wonder that sexual politics is becoming deeply problematic.

I strongly discourage my sons using that type of vocab even if I may be fighting a losing battle. At least they will think about the language they are using.

He sounds like an absolute delight. Maybe your local GUM clinic should do a pop up one morning at your office so you can all get tested together.

If i was younger I would correct anyone who said "bodycount" with "do you mean consenting sexual partners?"

And then refuse to tell anyone who had used the word bodycount in the first place.
And certainly never become one of their bodycounts.

Load of misogynistic porn influenced bollocks.

Keep your mystery. It's your information not for others. If someone is bothered about it they are exactly the person you shouldn't tell.

Definitely, i think i struggled with this for a while as did see him as a friend, but the fact that he also kicked me out right after also shows that he has no respect for me at all. He has been incredibly awkward when i have seen him since so i think that says a lot as well

Again, more people freaking out over the language used than actually answering the question.

@bifurCAT ,

It’s a stupid question!

Who you have slept with and how many is no one else’s business. Why would you even keep a count?

As Bridget Jones's Uncle Geoffrey would say, "Don't dip your nib in the office ink."

Especially when you know the other person has form for this.

Agree body count is a horrible term, sounds like you've murdered them and is quite dehumanising.

But yes I would include one night stands.

It's not something I would personally discuss.

@llamalines has spoken!

And it is a shitty term. Not very sisterly of you to police your fellow women’s opinions is it?

This is the SEVENTH thread you've started about this guy.

He's not worth it.
He's not into you

Honestly, it's time to move on and find someone that doesn't make you feel like this for months.

I wonder how many he slept with in work :/ don't have sex with people you work with OP word gets round

Yes it's a shitty term.

But people are using it as a stick to beat the OP with and that's arsehole behaviour (typical of a certain type of poster here sadly).

She may never have considered it before. Perhaps it's a term all her mates use without thinking about it. People aren't thoughtfully questioning or exploring the use of a misogynistic term, they're just having a go at the OP.

Standing up for someone who's being shat on for no good reason isn't "policing opinions". HTH.

I don't keep counting per se,but I do keep names, so I could then count the names.

Back in my 20s, I was talking to a housemate who had just been through another breakup, and we did talk about making a card catalogue (it was a much less computerised age) of past conquests. In much more recent years, I do have an online dating spreadsheet, mostly because it was necessary to distinguish between the different Chrises and Pauls and Andys and so on. I would absolutely not share it! (Though it did form the basis of a presentation on project planning...)

Genius! I'd love to see that presentation 😁

It was much more fun than talking about IT projects. 😀