Would you include a one night stand in your body count, if you wouldn't why not

[PerkyKoala]

So I recently hooked up with a friend, it ended up being a one night stand despite us having been flirting for months. We had worked together at the same job which I had left before we hooked up.
Whilst we ended on okay terms and said we were still friends, I recently found out from a mutual friend that during discussion about body counts, the guy said that he ‘doesnt include people that he’s slept with from ‘our place of work’ as they dont count’. my friend knows we hooked up so was quite shocked that he had said this as she knew this included me
Whilst a part of me thinks he said this to avoid any futher questions about who he’d gotten with from work, another part of me thinks he said because he genuinely doesn't include our hook up as having slept with me or thinks its worth including.
I personally would include it in mine, I would name any names, but he would be an additional number, and so do feel a bit hurt that he didn't appear to think the same.
just wondered what peoples thoughts are on this, is not including a one night stand in your body count normal?

I'm sorry that happened to you and I agree, it doesn't count.

It's not a misogynistic term, and it's widely used although perhaps outside of the pearl clutching hordes of Mumsnet users ... I'm 50 and mine is somewhere in the high 20s and ONS count.

My DD asked me what my body count was the other day, and I told her and also told her about a ons I had had, we were talking about how sex can be, and mean, different things with different people. But then again I'm sex positive a don't see it as some moral failing to have and enjoy sex

I count the number of people I’ve had sex with as: the number of people I’ve had sex with. Albeit once with them, twice or 50+ times.

The guy you’re speaking about, sounds like a weirdo.

It's nobody's business and it shouldn't be open for discussion with anyone.

Smile and move on to another topic...

@Yamantau please put the chatGPT down and talk normally.

Not bothering to respond to the 'body count' phrase but yes obviously one night stands count in the number of people you've had sex with because they are a person you've had sex with why wouldn't they? It's like saying 'I only ate 600 calories yesterday because I don't include calories I consume before 4pm' - nonsense

Good question! My DH and I occasionally swing so our numbers are pretty high and rising. Yes we do keep count! We decided that for opposite sex partners it only counts where it's PIV but for same sex oral counts. Bit arbitrary I guess!

Sorry OP, but this is it.

He's not discounting one night stands. He's discounting your encounter specifically. He's deliberately saying to someone who knows you are a work colleague that he's shagged, that he doesn't acknowledge "work colleagues that he's shagged" (literally, you) as ever happening.

He's being a disrespectful prick. On purpose. He's trying to make out you're too beneath him to acknowledge.

What a prince.

Why are people using the word "body count"? to talk about how many people they have slept with?

Surely this is a phrase used for how many people have died in a natural disaster or terrorist attack, say, and sounds vaguely disrespectful even then.

No it's not misogynistic just grim and I'm far from a pearl clutcher thanks

I knew someone would say pretty much this. The thing is, talking about "body counts" in terms of sexual activity degrades and debases both men and women. It's also worth noting that the term is regularly used and proliferated by the disciples of Andrew Tate. I'm nearly 70 and was at the forefront of women's liberation. I've been a social (and socialist) activist for much of my life. Whilst it's true that women have greater autonomy than ever before, I look around and see there's is a lot of retrograde stuff going on. I personally don't think anyone's worth or value should be measured in this way and in an ideal world it wouldn't be, but whether you agree or not, I'm afraid the patriarchy is still very much alive and kicking.

I agree with much of which you state above. Although in my view, even if patriarchy is alive and kicking, we should kick it back!

Challenge, but don’t think we have to comply with some misjudged “purity” type thing. We should resist terms such as “lost virginity”; you don’t lose anything and challenge being called names, because you are positive about sex!

Body count? If l knew l was supposed to do this, l would have put a very thick hardback visitors book on my bedside table.

It's a quicker way than saying how many people have you had carnal knowledge of...

I do think that most people have no business asking, it's something I have discussed with previous partners, but have discovered that men with very little experience tend to be defensive on the matter.

If he got you pregnant, you'd be in his "bodycount"!

Christ Almighty. My body count is made up mostly of ONS. So yes, I'd include them in the count.

Why are you both letting your man friend speak to and about you like that anyway? He doesn't respect either of you. Men just don't speak to women they respect like that.

& If you're using dumb, sexist terms like 'body count' then self-respect is lacking in you too.

Perhaps having some discretion in terms of conversation, stop watching and listening to incel nonsense, and less of the 'he said she said' might do you good

I'm a male millennial (so it's not like I'm some old codger) but the term "body count" makes me cringe. It's funny how it's only used on women and not men. The youth of today have lost the plot.

Why is your mate asking him how many he has slept with? Why is anyone discussing a 'body count' at all? Don't care how old anyone is, it eternally has been, and forever more will be , nobody's business what numbers are. Anyone who thinks it's reasonable to ask, has issues. Anyone who misguidedly thinks honestly is a reason to reply, is going to have their answer turned against them because reasons for asking are usually sinister - even if just as a nosy friend, the friend wants to form an opinion.
Given that, you should not care less what his tally is, or whether or not you qualify - but as you don't, its safe to assume his count is quite large and he knows it, so I hope you used condoms or have since had an sti check.

Can confirm that no one cares about how many sexual partners you have after the age of 30. There is no reason to care, as long as everyone is having regular testing then your health won't be affected.

You care how many people your acquaintances have had sex with? If they're a 30 year old virgin you look down on them? Why do you care about someone elses private sex life?

I hate this body count phrase with a passion. Says everything about our stupid society.

It's a very weird thing to say, has he slept with many people from your place of work? Or is your place of work a porn studio?
Because apart from that it's a weird thing to say and it's like he said it to be offensive to you.

I used to include my rapist in my 'number'.😥 I don't use the term 'body count'.
I never gave myself permission to say it was rape in the past.

I would never include him now though.

Yeah that doesn't count. And you shouldn't be counting anyway - people don't devalue with each sexual encounter

Body count? Grow up