Asked to give money towards honeymoon.....how much?

[Funnimummi]

As title suggests, am going to a wedding next month and in the invite the couple have written a note saying they would like a donation towards the honeymoon instead of a gift.

I really am not sure how much is considered an acceptable sum????!!!!

Probably a daft question but I really don't know.

The couple are close friends, and we are in our thirties (if that makes any diff)

Thanks

nervousal, you say 'of course you are expecting a present'.

so what about birthdays and Christmas then..is it perfectly acceptable to say to those people who you know will be getting you a present 'can I have money instead'?

I think its bloody rude and hate wedding lists/requests for cash for that reason.

Anyone saying that to me would get fuck all for the nerve of them.

I have no problem with gift-lists. They are helpful. I don't like being given household items that aren't to our taste. I wouldn't want to be presumptuous if I was giving gifts either.

Since a high proportion of wedding guests were far flung relatives who've never visited us or have any idea what we're into, I'd like to think they appreciated the pointers. Also, as we were renting a small place at the time and were a bit hard-up, we nominated a couple of stores for gift vouchers so we could treat ourselves when we bought somewhere. The voucher fund is still going strong over 5 years later.

StarlightMcKenzie I am not that bad lol. I would not go to a wedding if they asked me for money. I would however go, if there was a wedding list. I would buy a gift of my own choosing that I know would be liked.

Anyway you sound nice and not grabbing at all so this would not apply to you...of course I would come to your wedding and I would bring a gift(and I would spend at least a fiver, honest )I am talking about the greedy grabbing sods who see it as an opportunity to fill their home with the best of everything.

My first experience of a wedding list was a cousin who had a John Lewis list with stuff like washing machine/microwave/hoover etc!!! Fair enough there was stuff at the cheaper end ie glasses/kitchenware BUT it was all specific ranges and makes for example Denby such and such side plate..I was like WHAT????

Is this really what normal people do?

When a work collegue got married we all chipped in to get something from the list and we were able to afford - two saucers!!! I have never seen such posh stuff on a wedding list.

Would like to point out here that I don't mind gift lists at all - it's nice to contribute to a "best" set of china or something, what I object to is having the gift requirements in the invitations, or printed on it (argh!).

I'm glad to see that I'm not alone though. I know an awful lot of people who have done this (including SIL) and I do wonder if I'm a bit old-fashioned...

TMMJ - It's a space issue with us. We already had 2 lots of everything as we'd had our own places before we moved in. So to fill our already jam-packed house with tons more of the same thing (albeit lovely posh stuff) would have been a bit daft IMO. Add to that a hoarding dh and there would have been no room for anything else!

£0.00

Asking for money is crass.

jasper

tell it how it is

don't sit on the fence

I can't make my mind up about all this really.I would rather not buy a couple who have been living together something that they don't need.

We are going to a wedding in July and again it is in a country hotel miles away. We have to pay for a room that we can't afford. The Couple getting married are loaded. They went to Austrailia for a month in January. They enclosed a note asking for money so that they can go on a trip of a lifetime. We aren't going on holiday this year as we can't afford it.

I look back on our wedding gifts with fondness. I still remember who gave us what.

RR - that's what we did, the agent then sent us a list of who contributed and we sent thank you's etc accordingly, it worked really well and people seemed to think this was a good idea

Seriously wondering now what we are going to do, I wanted to get married but we've been together 6 years and just cannot afford a wedding (not even a cheap one with no honeymoon) the only way we can afford it is to pay for it on overdraught/ credit card then pay as much of it back as we can after the wedding with money given to us instead of presents. Now with all of you saying that isn't acceptable I'm wondering if we'll ever get married

What are people expected to do in this situation?

'What are people expected to do in this situation? '

You go to the Registry Office and get married for £75.

That's what we did.

It costs £75 to get married at the end of the day.

You just need two witnesses with photo ID.

Some offices provide witnesses for hire.

We grabbed two blokes sitting on a bench on their lunch break from the Scottish Executive. Their bosses thought it was a hoot and they took photos on their mobiles.

Love that story expat!

DH made me approach them .

I just blurted out, 'Excuse me, sorry to bother you, but we're getting married right now, and we're needing a witness. It would only take about 20 minutes, but I'd be happy to talk to your boss if you'd like to join us for lunch - at Pizza Express - afterwards.'

I want a marriage and a wedding (only planning on doing it once and want it to be a nice day - not necc. expensive though) I have a massive close family (i'm talking 5 brothers, 1 sister all with partners and children as well as step parents on each side etc) as does dp and i'd like them to come and celebrate with us so we would need somewhere big enough to accomodate us after the ceremony (which would be done by a family friend who I have known since childhood)

My grandparents have just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary and I'd like to have a celebration similar to what they had (120 people, evening do, £550 inc food & disco, few banners and balloons and room hire) then we'd need rings and something to wear plus outfits for our dd's